I don't really want to go "home"!
I miss my sisters so much...I miss SD and its 101 things to do...heck, I even miss my family at times but I don't miss the drama that comes with them. I have been up here in Sac 4 years this January and I can't believe how completely distant my family and I are, physically,emotionally, and mentally. It becomes harder and harder for me to go home every time because I've grown so apart from them in order to avoid the pain that goes with knowing all their troubles. Since I've been up here, my mom has lost our house, my parents have divorced because my dad was said to have cheated, my dad has left to Mexico possibly never to return, my mom has sold the restaurant,and she is with my sisters currently living under her parents roof in a little as room that is not suited for two growing teenagers not to mention with two dead beat brothers that don't do jack shit to help anyone out but themselves really. What the fuck happened to my family. SD is no longer home anymore because I can't breath there peacefully. Genesis's 14th birthday is coming up in a few weeks and all I want to do is snatch her and Sara up and take them away from all the drama. I talked to her the other day and the poor girl started crying because she misses me and her father. She so wishes that things could be o.k again like when she was little and all I can think of is me too. She wants me to be there for her birthday and that is as much as I can do to make her wishes come true for now. I hate that I can't do much more than that to take away all our pain.