[FIC] The Warmth that Lingers: 2/5
Title: The Warmth that Lingers
Summary: Yoochun assumed many things of Shim Changmin. He was always wrong. (Translation of 余温 by 大小胡子叽喳喳)
Pairing: MinChun
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Angst/Drama/Romance
Warning: character death
Disclaimer: DBSK is not mine. This story is not mine either; I am merely the translator. The original can be found here: http://tieba.baidu.com/p/2848829695, and it is by 大小胡子叽喳喳. All credits go to her and not me.
Later that night I really did get drunk. I forgot who I hooked up with; I was too miserable to care. I remember leaning on that person’s shoulders, pouring my heart out and crying as I did, then vomiting my guts out. But that person was not disgusted. Instead, he helped me clean the mess up and treated me tenderly.
Then everything continued on naturally. The world was a blur to my eyes, and I couldn’t see what that person looked like anymore. I just knew that he had very dark eyes, filled with strange warmth. Suddenly, I had a reason to kiss him. His eyes looked just like Changmin’s.
Later he told me he was called Ken, a Chinese-English halfie. Smiling, I kissed his lips and while staring deeply into his eyes. Ken froze, then kissed back.
I giggled as he cradled me in his arms. “Ken, don’t you know that after a one-night stand you’re supposed to leave?”
Ken froze again and looked at me intently, eyes still very warm. “I want to stay.” He was serious.
My brow furrowed and I pulled away from his embrace. “You can’t have fallen in love with me in just one night, have you?”
Usually. I would have already shooed him out my house. But not this time because - aside from the care he gave me last night and somehow putting up with my drunken babbling - his eyes were just like Changmin’s.
Ken seemed almost shy as he held onto my hand. “You have certain charms…”
The smile froze on my face, but his naivety did amuse me to a certain degree. The feeling of trying something new and the unwillingness to let go afterwards was not uncommon, especially in the case of one night stands. Ken was not the first and would not be the last to not let go. I could only patiently try and get rid of him in the nicest way possible. “How can you like me when you don’t even know my name?”
Ken laughed, unfazed by my comment as he wrapped his arms around me again. “You can tell me now.”
I rolled off the bed and out of his embrace. “My name is Park Yoochun. I’m leaving now, and I expect you to be gone by the time I come back.” I slammed the door and the pathetic place I called home.
This was the first time I headed into a club during daylight. It was impossible for Changmin to come here during this time, which was why I never came here this early. Once I entered, I made a beeline to the bar. Hell seemed almost surprised to see me, then his expression quickly morphed into a friendly one. “So early today? Changmin hasn’t shown up yet.”
I forced a smile, mind still mulling over the sight of him going after Jinjong. If Changmin ended up getting in a fight with the man and got beaten or dumped, I wouldn’t mind at all.
That would finally prove that Jinjong wasn’t the ideal lover that Changmin had in mind after all.
After observing no response from me, Hell leaned closer and whispered very secretively to me, “Last night you were drunk, but did you see? Changmin and that other guy who was with Jinjong got into a huge fight. Too bad you were asleep by then.”
My interest was finally roused, and I asked, “Then?”
Hell watched my expression carefully and said slowly, “That Jinjong kid is usually pretty uptight about everything. But it seems that last night he was touched by Changmin’s actions. They left together, and from what I heard they’re a couple now.”
My expression probably turned very ugly now. I couldn’t smile, couldn’t laugh, and began to berate myself at the idiocy of following Changmin around like a loyal puppy all the time. Changmin was willing to give Jinjong his everything, while the only things he had ever done for me was becoming very frustrated by everything I did.
I began to drink like a madman. Hell sighed and told me to think more optimistically. There were richer, better men out there in the world than Shim Changmin. Why should I be so hung up on him?
I dimly heard his words, and forgot whatever happened after. I don’t remember my body ever being this weak and susceptible to alcohol. Maybe I really was getting old, and it was time for me to find someone who would love me and take care of me.
That person was obviously not going to be Changmin, but I was unable to let go.
In the fogginess of my mind, I somehow saw Changmin’s face and pounced on him, claiming his lips. His expression changed very quickly into disgust while Jinjong resembled a deer caught in the headlights. I felt a perverse joy and kissed even harder until I was thrown onto the floor.
My chest hurt from falling too hard, and my ears were ringing. I only saw blood on the floor, but didn’t know where the blood was flowing from. Blearily I looked around me. There was a shell-shocked Jinjong, and Changmin right next to him, gently saying words of comfort, and no one else. At least, I couldn’t see anyone else in my hazy vision.
Blood continued to flow profusely from my nose as I stood up shakily. My heart hurt more, though. Hell tried to apologize for me, saying that I drank too much and asked for Changmin to send me back home. I knew Hell wanted to help me, and I didn’t want to refuse even if this was a rather petty move.
Changmin’s frustration became more apparent until Jinjong told him to send me home. I gave him a thankful smile.
How fucking disgusting.
Changmin steadied me and slung my elbow over his shoulder. Although he was extremely reluctant, this was the first time I was so close to Changmin.
His eyes were so beautiful. And at the moment, they were looking at me, only me.
I probably should thank Hell and Jinjong tomorrow.
Frowning, Changmin asked me, “Where is your house?”
I grinned, feeling giddy as I replied with my address.
He coughed awkwardly, then said, “Fuckin’ retard.”
I knew he was shy now. I had spent hours perfecting that smile, reserved specially for winning people’s hearts over, so it had a certain charm to it.
I leaned onto his body and caught sight of his annoyed face; clearly he wanted to push me off him but couldn’t, and it made me oddly happy at the thought. Slowly, we hobbled back to my house.
The wind was harsh and cold, forcing me to wake up from my drunken stupor, but I was stubborn enough to keep leaning against Changmin’s body. He was the type of person to be very responsible of others when he had to. By now I had long forgotten my bleeding nose.
He adjusted me slightly, as if afraid that I’d slip and fall. I couldn’t stop that brief flash of gratitude at the small move and pressed myself even closer. He smelled so good. Even though I was perverted enough to buy the same brand of shampoo and soap Changmin did, he still smelled so nice and different, a comforting scent I couldn’t exactly place.
I actually really wanted him to piggy-back me, but I didn’t want to risk falling onto the ground again. After all, my face was more important; it was one of the few ways I could try and seduce Changmin (and others).
I continued to be pulled along by Changmin like a puppy on a leash. He walked very fast, uncaring whether I was able to follow him or not.
My home wasn’t even that far to walk to, yet Changmin seemed to want to shorten the little time we had together even more. I didn’t mind though, hopeful that there’d be more opportunities in the future.
Once we reached the door, I cheekily ran my hands over Changmin’s body, and he swiftly shoved my hands away. But I persisted. Men always thought more with the lower region of their body than their mind. And so he leaned closer to me and kissed me.
I wanted to laugh. It looked like he didn’t value Jinjong as much as I thought then, if he was willing to choose me, the prettier one, over his boyfriend.
Changmin hadn’t closed his eyes yet and nor did I. I continued to grin and returned his heated stare. I was sure that I must’ve looked very desirable right now, and to confirm my thoughts he covered my eyes with his hand.
My urge to laugh became stronger. Don’t tell me Changmin was feeling guilty over this kiss now?
His kiss was fierce and demanding, as if we were the ones dating and in passionate love. I wanted to go in to the house, as it was a more appropriate place to frisk than the outside. With my free hand, I felt around my pocket for the key and opened the door blindly as Changmin’s breath became more labored.
We stumbled into the house and continued to make out, almost violently like fighting. Changmin pressed his lips to my collarbone, sending a shiver down my spine. This was a sensation I never felt before, despite all the other people I had been with before. I was drowning in his love.
The house was strangely bright, and my heart skipped a beat. But I dismissed it quickly, until Changmin silently pushed me away, lips turned up into an angry, mocking grin. “Park Yoochun, is one man not enough for you?”
I turned around and saw Ken, the innocent target of last night’s fling. Face red with embarrassment, I yelled, “Didn’t I tell you to leave early? Why the hell are you still here?”
Ken grimaced, and after a pause he said, “I’ll leave now.”
Like the idiot I was, I turned back to Changmin with a hopeful expression. His face was hard and cold as I cautiously handed back his jacket. He snorted and said in a tone that lacked the previous warmth it held just minutes ago, “No, I’ll leave.”
I began to panic and reached out to grab onto his hand. I didn’t want him to go to Jinjong, not at all. “I already told him to leave.” There was a hint of pleading and hurt in my voice.
Changmin laughed, short and cruel. “Park Yoochun, I’m already with Jinjong. Why the hell can’t you let go?” The door slammed harshly.
I felt as if I was slapped in the face and was unable to stand up properly. Ken stood a bit away from me and observed me quietly, saying, “Yoochun, you love him.”
Yes, I loved him. So what? “The hell does this have to do with you? I told you to fuck off, why didn’t you?”
Ken sighed and ruffled my hair, then turned to leave. “But he doesn’t love you.”
Did I fucking need you to remind me? I know I was a retard to be so stubborn and persistent. If he loved me, did you think I’d be in this pathetic state? I shrunk into a corner as blood began to flow from my nose again. I had no time to wipe it away as I stood abruptly up and ran out the door. For once, I wanted to properly explain to Changmin, and it didn’t matter if he believed me or not. I had to make things clear.
Changmin clearly left very hurriedly, and I was very dizzy by the time I reached the bar. From Hell’s face, he was horrified by my appearance. “What happened to you, Yoochun? How did you end up like this?”
I pushed him roughly away and asked anxiously, “Where’s Changmin?”
He froze for a moment, then finally said, “Room 307.”
I made my way frantically there. Changmin must have been in a good mood to rent out a room today. Was it because of … him…? The thought made me unhappy.
Boldly I pushed open the door of the room, but Changmin wasn’t there. One of Changmin’s friends looked at me curiously, then laughed. “Isn’t this Yoochun? You looking for Changmin? He’s in the bathroom over there. He really can’t hold his liquor. Just a few shots and he needed to puke.”
I waved and turned to the other room he pointed at. It was almost completely silent, and I guessed this must be one of the VIP rooms that Hell specially prepared for them. Looking around yielded no results. Changmin wasn’t there, and before I had time to call out, I heard a lust-filled voice and a hardly suppressed moan, the type of sound all men could recognize instantly.
My heart shook, and tentatively I said, “… Changmin?”
I could dimly hear the sound of a drawer opening, then heavy breathing and moaning. It was Jinjong’s disgusting voice. I really didn’t want to continue eavesdropping, but as if Changmin knew I was there and wanted to keep me listening, the pounding against the counter became even louder.
In a childish fit of anger I called out towards the door, “Slow down, you don’t want to vandalize public property~”
Then I turned and left, the noises continuing behind me.
Darkness crashed around me, blinding my vision. I couldn’t see a thing as I kept one hand on the wall, walking step by step slowly forward. The blood cooled and clotted on my face. I couldn’t breathe. Every breath hurt my chest.
In the split second before I fainted, I thought I was done for.
(Author’s Note: There's a certain detail present in this chapter that will continue appearing in the following chapters as well that's rather important. Once again, thanks for reading!)
Summary: Yoochun assumed many things of Shim Changmin. He was always wrong. (Translation of 余温 by 大小胡子叽喳喳)
Pairing: MinChun
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Angst/Drama/Romance
Warning: character death
Disclaimer: DBSK is not mine. This story is not mine either; I am merely the translator. The original can be found here: http://tieba.baidu.com/p/2848829695, and it is by 大小胡子叽喳喳. All credits go to her and not me.
Later that night I really did get drunk. I forgot who I hooked up with; I was too miserable to care. I remember leaning on that person’s shoulders, pouring my heart out and crying as I did, then vomiting my guts out. But that person was not disgusted. Instead, he helped me clean the mess up and treated me tenderly.
Then everything continued on naturally. The world was a blur to my eyes, and I couldn’t see what that person looked like anymore. I just knew that he had very dark eyes, filled with strange warmth. Suddenly, I had a reason to kiss him. His eyes looked just like Changmin’s.
Later he told me he was called Ken, a Chinese-English halfie. Smiling, I kissed his lips and while staring deeply into his eyes. Ken froze, then kissed back.
I giggled as he cradled me in his arms. “Ken, don’t you know that after a one-night stand you’re supposed to leave?”
Ken froze again and looked at me intently, eyes still very warm. “I want to stay.” He was serious.
My brow furrowed and I pulled away from his embrace. “You can’t have fallen in love with me in just one night, have you?”
Usually. I would have already shooed him out my house. But not this time because - aside from the care he gave me last night and somehow putting up with my drunken babbling - his eyes were just like Changmin’s.
Ken seemed almost shy as he held onto my hand. “You have certain charms…”
The smile froze on my face, but his naivety did amuse me to a certain degree. The feeling of trying something new and the unwillingness to let go afterwards was not uncommon, especially in the case of one night stands. Ken was not the first and would not be the last to not let go. I could only patiently try and get rid of him in the nicest way possible. “How can you like me when you don’t even know my name?”
Ken laughed, unfazed by my comment as he wrapped his arms around me again. “You can tell me now.”
I rolled off the bed and out of his embrace. “My name is Park Yoochun. I’m leaving now, and I expect you to be gone by the time I come back.” I slammed the door and the pathetic place I called home.
This was the first time I headed into a club during daylight. It was impossible for Changmin to come here during this time, which was why I never came here this early. Once I entered, I made a beeline to the bar. Hell seemed almost surprised to see me, then his expression quickly morphed into a friendly one. “So early today? Changmin hasn’t shown up yet.”
I forced a smile, mind still mulling over the sight of him going after Jinjong. If Changmin ended up getting in a fight with the man and got beaten or dumped, I wouldn’t mind at all.
That would finally prove that Jinjong wasn’t the ideal lover that Changmin had in mind after all.
After observing no response from me, Hell leaned closer and whispered very secretively to me, “Last night you were drunk, but did you see? Changmin and that other guy who was with Jinjong got into a huge fight. Too bad you were asleep by then.”
My interest was finally roused, and I asked, “Then?”
Hell watched my expression carefully and said slowly, “That Jinjong kid is usually pretty uptight about everything. But it seems that last night he was touched by Changmin’s actions. They left together, and from what I heard they’re a couple now.”
My expression probably turned very ugly now. I couldn’t smile, couldn’t laugh, and began to berate myself at the idiocy of following Changmin around like a loyal puppy all the time. Changmin was willing to give Jinjong his everything, while the only things he had ever done for me was becoming very frustrated by everything I did.
I began to drink like a madman. Hell sighed and told me to think more optimistically. There were richer, better men out there in the world than Shim Changmin. Why should I be so hung up on him?
I dimly heard his words, and forgot whatever happened after. I don’t remember my body ever being this weak and susceptible to alcohol. Maybe I really was getting old, and it was time for me to find someone who would love me and take care of me.
That person was obviously not going to be Changmin, but I was unable to let go.
In the fogginess of my mind, I somehow saw Changmin’s face and pounced on him, claiming his lips. His expression changed very quickly into disgust while Jinjong resembled a deer caught in the headlights. I felt a perverse joy and kissed even harder until I was thrown onto the floor.
My chest hurt from falling too hard, and my ears were ringing. I only saw blood on the floor, but didn’t know where the blood was flowing from. Blearily I looked around me. There was a shell-shocked Jinjong, and Changmin right next to him, gently saying words of comfort, and no one else. At least, I couldn’t see anyone else in my hazy vision.
Blood continued to flow profusely from my nose as I stood up shakily. My heart hurt more, though. Hell tried to apologize for me, saying that I drank too much and asked for Changmin to send me back home. I knew Hell wanted to help me, and I didn’t want to refuse even if this was a rather petty move.
Changmin’s frustration became more apparent until Jinjong told him to send me home. I gave him a thankful smile.
How fucking disgusting.
Changmin steadied me and slung my elbow over his shoulder. Although he was extremely reluctant, this was the first time I was so close to Changmin.
His eyes were so beautiful. And at the moment, they were looking at me, only me.
I probably should thank Hell and Jinjong tomorrow.
Frowning, Changmin asked me, “Where is your house?”
I grinned, feeling giddy as I replied with my address.
He coughed awkwardly, then said, “Fuckin’ retard.”
I knew he was shy now. I had spent hours perfecting that smile, reserved specially for winning people’s hearts over, so it had a certain charm to it.
I leaned onto his body and caught sight of his annoyed face; clearly he wanted to push me off him but couldn’t, and it made me oddly happy at the thought. Slowly, we hobbled back to my house.
The wind was harsh and cold, forcing me to wake up from my drunken stupor, but I was stubborn enough to keep leaning against Changmin’s body. He was the type of person to be very responsible of others when he had to. By now I had long forgotten my bleeding nose.
He adjusted me slightly, as if afraid that I’d slip and fall. I couldn’t stop that brief flash of gratitude at the small move and pressed myself even closer. He smelled so good. Even though I was perverted enough to buy the same brand of shampoo and soap Changmin did, he still smelled so nice and different, a comforting scent I couldn’t exactly place.
I actually really wanted him to piggy-back me, but I didn’t want to risk falling onto the ground again. After all, my face was more important; it was one of the few ways I could try and seduce Changmin (and others).
I continued to be pulled along by Changmin like a puppy on a leash. He walked very fast, uncaring whether I was able to follow him or not.
My home wasn’t even that far to walk to, yet Changmin seemed to want to shorten the little time we had together even more. I didn’t mind though, hopeful that there’d be more opportunities in the future.
Once we reached the door, I cheekily ran my hands over Changmin’s body, and he swiftly shoved my hands away. But I persisted. Men always thought more with the lower region of their body than their mind. And so he leaned closer to me and kissed me.
I wanted to laugh. It looked like he didn’t value Jinjong as much as I thought then, if he was willing to choose me, the prettier one, over his boyfriend.
Changmin hadn’t closed his eyes yet and nor did I. I continued to grin and returned his heated stare. I was sure that I must’ve looked very desirable right now, and to confirm my thoughts he covered my eyes with his hand.
My urge to laugh became stronger. Don’t tell me Changmin was feeling guilty over this kiss now?
His kiss was fierce and demanding, as if we were the ones dating and in passionate love. I wanted to go in to the house, as it was a more appropriate place to frisk than the outside. With my free hand, I felt around my pocket for the key and opened the door blindly as Changmin’s breath became more labored.
We stumbled into the house and continued to make out, almost violently like fighting. Changmin pressed his lips to my collarbone, sending a shiver down my spine. This was a sensation I never felt before, despite all the other people I had been with before. I was drowning in his love.
The house was strangely bright, and my heart skipped a beat. But I dismissed it quickly, until Changmin silently pushed me away, lips turned up into an angry, mocking grin. “Park Yoochun, is one man not enough for you?”
I turned around and saw Ken, the innocent target of last night’s fling. Face red with embarrassment, I yelled, “Didn’t I tell you to leave early? Why the hell are you still here?”
Ken grimaced, and after a pause he said, “I’ll leave now.”
Like the idiot I was, I turned back to Changmin with a hopeful expression. His face was hard and cold as I cautiously handed back his jacket. He snorted and said in a tone that lacked the previous warmth it held just minutes ago, “No, I’ll leave.”
I began to panic and reached out to grab onto his hand. I didn’t want him to go to Jinjong, not at all. “I already told him to leave.” There was a hint of pleading and hurt in my voice.
Changmin laughed, short and cruel. “Park Yoochun, I’m already with Jinjong. Why the hell can’t you let go?” The door slammed harshly.
I felt as if I was slapped in the face and was unable to stand up properly. Ken stood a bit away from me and observed me quietly, saying, “Yoochun, you love him.”
Yes, I loved him. So what? “The hell does this have to do with you? I told you to fuck off, why didn’t you?”
Ken sighed and ruffled my hair, then turned to leave. “But he doesn’t love you.”
Did I fucking need you to remind me? I know I was a retard to be so stubborn and persistent. If he loved me, did you think I’d be in this pathetic state? I shrunk into a corner as blood began to flow from my nose again. I had no time to wipe it away as I stood abruptly up and ran out the door. For once, I wanted to properly explain to Changmin, and it didn’t matter if he believed me or not. I had to make things clear.
Changmin clearly left very hurriedly, and I was very dizzy by the time I reached the bar. From Hell’s face, he was horrified by my appearance. “What happened to you, Yoochun? How did you end up like this?”
I pushed him roughly away and asked anxiously, “Where’s Changmin?”
He froze for a moment, then finally said, “Room 307.”
I made my way frantically there. Changmin must have been in a good mood to rent out a room today. Was it because of … him…? The thought made me unhappy.
Boldly I pushed open the door of the room, but Changmin wasn’t there. One of Changmin’s friends looked at me curiously, then laughed. “Isn’t this Yoochun? You looking for Changmin? He’s in the bathroom over there. He really can’t hold his liquor. Just a few shots and he needed to puke.”
I waved and turned to the other room he pointed at. It was almost completely silent, and I guessed this must be one of the VIP rooms that Hell specially prepared for them. Looking around yielded no results. Changmin wasn’t there, and before I had time to call out, I heard a lust-filled voice and a hardly suppressed moan, the type of sound all men could recognize instantly.
My heart shook, and tentatively I said, “… Changmin?”
I could dimly hear the sound of a drawer opening, then heavy breathing and moaning. It was Jinjong’s disgusting voice. I really didn’t want to continue eavesdropping, but as if Changmin knew I was there and wanted to keep me listening, the pounding against the counter became even louder.
In a childish fit of anger I called out towards the door, “Slow down, you don’t want to vandalize public property~”
Then I turned and left, the noises continuing behind me.
Darkness crashed around me, blinding my vision. I couldn’t see a thing as I kept one hand on the wall, walking step by step slowly forward. The blood cooled and clotted on my face. I couldn’t breathe. Every breath hurt my chest.
In the split second before I fainted, I thought I was done for.
(Author’s Note: There's a certain detail present in this chapter that will continue appearing in the following chapters as well that's rather important. Once again, thanks for reading!)