In which I don't feel motivated AGAIN
Handed up my essay on Monday, and since then, I've been slacking. =A= It's week 9 already, and WIP 88% is on Week 12. I am nowhere near THERE. I'm a little uninspired about my project actually. =A= Not really sure what to do for this next part, although I am trying my best to churn out ideas cause Tits will kill me tomorrow if I have nothing to show him.
I guess I'm getting very distracted from alot of things. It's frustrating that I cannot simply just focus on one thing. Multitasking is very tiring, and it reduces the quality of everything you do, as I can tell from what I did during poly years. LOL. I depended on multitasking throughout those three years, and while it meant that I could enjoy my CCA, cosplay and juggle school work at the same time, it also meant that I am neither excellent at all of them.
Not sure if I have ranted about that in here before, but I am well aware of my lousy work, and I am frustrated by it. Occasionally, I caught myself wondering if I could perform better if I dropped other things and simply focus on just ONE. If only it's easier said than done. :/ I know myself enough to KNOW that I couldn't bear to drop anyone of the things.
For this year though, I've kinda neglected CO for school and cosplay. =v= *guilty* I do miss practises, and I do miss my CO mates. But I just don't feel the huge urge to go back now. Perhaps it's cause I know the percussion group won't die without me now, unlike in the past, cause of my awesome juniors~ XD;; But I don't think I'll ever abandon CO, unless all my seniors and close juniors aren't coming back. ._.
Now that I am on the verge of the working world once again, I'm getting worried about my worth. When I grad from poly, I was not confident in going out to work directly, because I am so very lacking in skills and concepts and stuff. Two years from then, I find myself doubting my ability again. =A= Will I even get a job with my lousy portfolio....?
/depressed
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*pushes depressing thoughts aside* I shall talk about things that make me excited then. LOL. Got back into di[e]ce again today. Tsuyin showed me the translation that's available on LJ and I was like 'HOMG YES'. So far, it's until chapter 33, though I can only d/l the raws till 29 =A= I want 30 and 31 though! GARA AND SION BACKSTORY AS KIDS. KSADJKSDJSADLA
*ahem* Anyway, Haruki turned even more scary. =A= Karen is awesome, I think she's Kazuki's Queen. And RUKAAAA, I wanna sayang him *o*
8| and the temptation to cos di[e]ce comes back again. /killz self I doubt i can slot in any space this year tho. =A=
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MIKADO+AOBA BALL POINT PEN SCENE IS FUCKING AWESOMEEEEE.
*ahem* Totally love Mikado now. *o* He went from manja, to scarily cold, to manja again, within minutes. I would be scared too if I am Aoba. ._.
On a side note, Aoba reminds me of that shota-boy-that-is-actually-very-old from Baccano. =v=
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Been fucking annoyed with dying Neku's top for the past few days. =A= Dyed three times le, and it's only reached a mid grey tone. URRRRGH. =A= Asked Himi for advice le, and I hope it'll work this time. Orz
I guess I'm getting very distracted from alot of things. It's frustrating that I cannot simply just focus on one thing. Multitasking is very tiring, and it reduces the quality of everything you do, as I can tell from what I did during poly years. LOL. I depended on multitasking throughout those three years, and while it meant that I could enjoy my CCA, cosplay and juggle school work at the same time, it also meant that I am neither excellent at all of them.
Not sure if I have ranted about that in here before, but I am well aware of my lousy work, and I am frustrated by it. Occasionally, I caught myself wondering if I could perform better if I dropped other things and simply focus on just ONE. If only it's easier said than done. :/ I know myself enough to KNOW that I couldn't bear to drop anyone of the things.
For this year though, I've kinda neglected CO for school and cosplay. =v= *guilty* I do miss practises, and I do miss my CO mates. But I just don't feel the huge urge to go back now. Perhaps it's cause I know the percussion group won't die without me now, unlike in the past, cause of my awesome juniors~ XD;; But I don't think I'll ever abandon CO, unless all my seniors and close juniors aren't coming back. ._.
Now that I am on the verge of the working world once again, I'm getting worried about my worth. When I grad from poly, I was not confident in going out to work directly, because I am so very lacking in skills and concepts and stuff. Two years from then, I find myself doubting my ability again. =A= Will I even get a job with my lousy portfolio....?
/depressed
---
*pushes depressing thoughts aside* I shall talk about things that make me excited then. LOL. Got back into di[e]ce again today. Tsuyin showed me the translation that's available on LJ and I was like 'HOMG YES'. So far, it's until chapter 33, though I can only d/l the raws till 29 =A= I want 30 and 31 though! GARA AND SION BACKSTORY AS KIDS. KSADJKSDJSADLA
*ahem* Anyway, Haruki turned even more scary. =A= Karen is awesome, I think she's Kazuki's Queen. And RUKAAAA, I wanna sayang him *o*
8| and the temptation to cos di[e]ce comes back again. /killz self I doubt i can slot in any space this year tho. =A=
---
MIKADO+AOBA BALL POINT PEN SCENE IS FUCKING AWESOMEEEEE.
*ahem* Totally love Mikado now. *o* He went from manja, to scarily cold, to manja again, within minutes. I would be scared too if I am Aoba. ._.
On a side note, Aoba reminds me of that shota-boy-that-is-actually-very-old from Baccano. =v=
---
Been fucking annoyed with dying Neku's top for the past few days. =A= Dyed three times le, and it's only reached a mid grey tone. URRRRGH. =A= Asked Himi for advice le, and I hope it'll work this time. Orz