re: my abscence
I used to post on this thing in my teens quite often. like every other day. then as I grew up, I had less and less time to update and fewer and fewer things that I felt significant to report. and then people started to move to MySpace, and then Facebook. There was no reason for me to come back to this blogging service. I mainly used it as a public forum for weird dreams I'd have, and that's fun to have, except all my dreams have me wandering a barren wasteland in a trailer, driving from one encampment of people to another.
I am going to force myself to use this thing that I've had for over a decade; I'm not going to stop posting dreams that were cool, but a new purpose, a new need to analyze myself has risen up. I am not mentally well, and I'm not able to function in your everyday life like you humans can.
Perhaps I'll post a thought that I'll expand on. Perhaps I'll report an observation. A judgement. Maybe a scientific hypothesis and/or theory here and there. It'll get ugly, but keeping it pretty and civil is killing me. The ugly thoughts and aspects of me need to breathe just as bad as the shiny and pretty parts. The insecure parts; the vulgar parts; the downright terrible parts. I am not a perfect organism, and I need to address that and accept that.
So, I'll give myself a boon and channel energy that no longer exists. Hopefully, I'll be able to overcome a bad pattern of 1. assimilate 2. boredom 3. abandon.
I am going to force myself to use this thing that I've had for over a decade; I'm not going to stop posting dreams that were cool, but a new purpose, a new need to analyze myself has risen up. I am not mentally well, and I'm not able to function in your everyday life like you humans can.
Perhaps I'll post a thought that I'll expand on. Perhaps I'll report an observation. A judgement. Maybe a scientific hypothesis and/or theory here and there. It'll get ugly, but keeping it pretty and civil is killing me. The ugly thoughts and aspects of me need to breathe just as bad as the shiny and pretty parts. The insecure parts; the vulgar parts; the downright terrible parts. I am not a perfect organism, and I need to address that and accept that.
So, I'll give myself a boon and channel energy that no longer exists. Hopefully, I'll be able to overcome a bad pattern of 1. assimilate 2. boredom 3. abandon.