Walls vs. Bridges
Over the years, I've noticed an interesting trend amongst wee humans. At the risk of sounding like a fluffy-bunny, I propose the following Observation. People's interActions can be classified into 2 different camps:
1-those who look for Differences ("Walls")
2-those who look for Similarities ("Bridges")
I've particularly noticed it via online, but basically, it goes like this:
A person makes a Declaration of some sort. Other people either "pick apart" that person's Declaration (Walls) or see how that person's POV is similar to their own (Bridges) and try and "build upon" that understanding. My education in Comparative Religions helped me a lot in this endeavor. It's easy to find Differences. It takes a Creative Mind (not to mention a "Patient" Mind, amongst other rare qualities...) to be able to Focus on Similarities rather than on the much more obvious Differences betwixt wee humans.
Having been a major part of the Philosophy dept. of the 2 colleges I've attended (not to mention my time on the "wrathful deity of lists", the Zeelist), I understand the POV of de-construction better than most ever will. I see the Value in having a dissenting opinion. I'm not here to debate that (or much else, for that matter). I simply choose to not engage in it*. I won't mention that any simpleton can de-construct what it takes others exponentially more time to CONstruct, because that would be insulting a good decade of my younger days which were primarily focused on completely decimating other people's World Views.
I just choose not to focus on "finding Differences" with my fellows anymore. I just don't see the point in arguing against my fellow friends. That's not to say that those who focus on "Walls" need to grow up, but they are definitely more divisive, by their very nature. And I've been much, much happier in my Life since re-Focusing on finding and seeking out Similarities with my fellow Man.
I take that back. I do see the "point" in building Walls, I just choose not to (as I see it for me) waste my Time tearing others down anymore. I've had more than a lifetime's worth of this activity, and I have chosen to give it up (for the most part) in favor of things that make me Happier and further meet my Desires, none of which really involve the tearing down of others or their beLIEf systems.
And although I used to do it almost exclusively, I still find it fascinating that people in a community (particularly a very small, isolated, and sometimes persecuted community like Pagans &/or Magi) would so readily tear-down their fellow community meme-bearers so quickly. My excuse was "lack of social skills", which I'd like to think I've improved just a bit over these years. So if you have a really controversial topic, or challenge me more than a time or 2 on my views, I'm not Ignoring you, and it's not that I dislike you or anything like that.
I just don't give a shit ;-)
We have enough problems in the world without Creating more, ya know? Shouldn't we be supporting each other more? If we're gonna tear anyone down, shouldn't it be "the out-group"???
* I could say that I don't have the Time/Energy to follow through on this, but frankly, I just don't give a shit enough to Argue anymore. If you agree with me, great, let's talk and find some common ground. Hopefully, we can each Learn from one another. If not, that's fine--I can agree to disagree. But SRSB, being the head of the "Philosophical Discussions" group at the Uni for more years than I'd like to admit, I've had moar than a lifetime-full of Arguing. And I'd pretty much had my fill of it by my 30's. In case you were curious.
1-those who look for Differences ("Walls")
2-those who look for Similarities ("Bridges")
I've particularly noticed it via online, but basically, it goes like this:
A person makes a Declaration of some sort. Other people either "pick apart" that person's Declaration (Walls) or see how that person's POV is similar to their own (Bridges) and try and "build upon" that understanding. My education in Comparative Religions helped me a lot in this endeavor. It's easy to find Differences. It takes a Creative Mind (not to mention a "Patient" Mind, amongst other rare qualities...) to be able to Focus on Similarities rather than on the much more obvious Differences betwixt wee humans.
Having been a major part of the Philosophy dept. of the 2 colleges I've attended (not to mention my time on the "wrathful deity of lists", the Zeelist), I understand the POV of de-construction better than most ever will. I see the Value in having a dissenting opinion. I'm not here to debate that (or much else, for that matter). I simply choose to not engage in it*. I won't mention that any simpleton can de-construct what it takes others exponentially more time to CONstruct, because that would be insulting a good decade of my younger days which were primarily focused on completely decimating other people's World Views.
I just choose not to focus on "finding Differences" with my fellows anymore. I just don't see the point in arguing against my fellow friends. That's not to say that those who focus on "Walls" need to grow up, but they are definitely more divisive, by their very nature. And I've been much, much happier in my Life since re-Focusing on finding and seeking out Similarities with my fellow Man.
I take that back. I do see the "point" in building Walls, I just choose not to (as I see it for me) waste my Time tearing others down anymore. I've had more than a lifetime's worth of this activity, and I have chosen to give it up (for the most part) in favor of things that make me Happier and further meet my Desires, none of which really involve the tearing down of others or their beLIEf systems.
And although I used to do it almost exclusively, I still find it fascinating that people in a community (particularly a very small, isolated, and sometimes persecuted community like Pagans &/or Magi) would so readily tear-down their fellow community meme-bearers so quickly. My excuse was "lack of social skills", which I'd like to think I've improved just a bit over these years. So if you have a really controversial topic, or challenge me more than a time or 2 on my views, I'm not Ignoring you, and it's not that I dislike you or anything like that.
I just don't give a shit ;-)
We have enough problems in the world without Creating more, ya know? Shouldn't we be supporting each other more? If we're gonna tear anyone down, shouldn't it be "the out-group"???
* I could say that I don't have the Time/Energy to follow through on this, but frankly, I just don't give a shit enough to Argue anymore. If you agree with me, great, let's talk and find some common ground. Hopefully, we can each Learn from one another. If not, that's fine--I can agree to disagree. But SRSB, being the head of the "Philosophical Discussions" group at the Uni for more years than I'd like to admit, I've had moar than a lifetime-full of Arguing. And I'd pretty much had my fill of it by my 30's. In case you were curious.