sometimes the night breathes deep, green, lazy breath's

[xhxcpatx]

Insomnia has dominated my life, robbing me of sleep and energy; in it everything sank. It's 5:30 am and I am not tired, I can't sleep at all. Watching the sun rise shouldn't make my stomach hurt, I have class at 11 am and I don't know how I'm gonna make it. I hate that I cant participate in such an essential part of life. Everyone else is asleep now and I'm all alone. Tonight I walked up and down the canal in the dark, it was actually kind of perfect. Thinking back on it I guess I'm glad I get to have nights like this, still and pretty. I sat on a park bench that was cracked and warped, mossy, just like i like. The smell of grass and flowers on a dark spring night, the sounds of water licking the canal walls. The police were trolling the water tonight, I think there might have been a jumper on the 99 bridge. Two racoon's were walking around, they didn't seem to mind me much and I certainly didn't mind them. I wish red panda's lived here too. I think I woke up a few ducks, they'll be ok though, they don't have insomnia.

Tomorrow I'm gonna close my eyes and hold my breath and get a scrip for some ambien. I can't live like this anymore, that's for damn sure.