(no subject)
my exgf wants to be in my life. i dont want her in it, i dont want to have anything to do with her. everything i do in my head is symbollic of something else, she in my mind symbolizes the person i used to be, a scared little boy, "little clint" as it were. someone afraid to screw up, afraid to make people mad, afraid to really live life for what it is, the only one i get. she symbolizes all the things that were a part of me that i am trying to grow out of and beat, i dont want to crawl back into that defeated state, no one understands why i dont want to even see her, but this is it, i just cant, im not afraid but i dont even want to think about things back then. i keep learning that my mind is my biggest obstacle, i convince myself of so much that isnt so. i want my integrity back, i never want to let go of it again.
will these scars go away, within this world i have no place