Purdue
Purdue, things at school are weird, things in life general are weird I guess. I've always tried to be me. I have always been different from my friends, but that has made me, well, made me, me. Does that make sense to anyone? Ever since I was accepted to this hell hole they call Purdue, I have been what "they" wanted me to be. Whether it was my mom, my dad, my boyfriend, my friends, or my teachers. I have tried to make this fit. To be what they have expected of me since I was conceived, but it is harder to make a reality than I ever possibly could have thought. Now all I can feel is confusion and anger. I want to be me again. I don't want to have to give up what I have accomplished so far this school year, although it is not very note worthy anyways, but I am tired of just being, just because. Going here b/c my dad did. Wanting this major to make them happy. Doing every little thing around others schedules just to try to piece it all together, hoping in the end the picture will be one that I can live with for the rest of my life. I try so hard to just make others happy. Feeling at fault if what I have done has upset them, or made them mad, or left them lonely. I am 18 and I should have some freedom, from family and from constraints in which I had placed on me through out HS. It just seems now that I am here, and this is supposed to be the best time of my life, I am wasting it away trying to please others. I am tired of piecing together this puzzle. I am ready to just get away, and paint the picture myself. Just get away from it all.