(no subject)

[xholdxmex]

You were my everything. My life, my best friend. I lost you to a reason im not sure of. If you know me as well as i think you do you'll probally figure out faster than i can type, that the only reason im posting this is for the slight chance you'll will read it. I never thought we would end like this.I never thought we end.. not this soon at least. You're life is turning out to be nothing short of amazing, and if you ever do read this, just know that you basically taught me everything i know, and you know it. And when you deleted me it was proabally the lowest blow that i could take. If you really didn't know the only reason i had this was because of you. I miss you horribly, but im too afraid to call knowing that it is more than likely too late. It would be nice though to even think that you'd read this someday soon and realize that everything around me reminds me of you. Fuck, even you're name is written on my window; About a billion times. Im still waiting for the day that you'll call and say you missed me and it'd be all better. I really wish i wasn't so scared to call, or id find out myself. but i've got to be honest, i really can't belive how this ended up. Someone who was in my life for such a long time just dissapears. Someone who knew everything about me just gave up. Completely. Someone who was my best friend throughout high school is just moving on with her life, without me. Maybe you've gone on to other things, maybe you'll never read this. but for one chance of about no luck, the number won't change. Even if me thinking that everything we had is completely over might be true, every part of me doesn't want it to be. maybe i should have waited all night for you that day. Maybe i should have not been a scumbag in your eyes. But what is the point to telling this to livejournal? All the memories are what i have. You've seen me online and there was nothing. So now this is my turn to pretend to feel nothing. To pretend that i don't think this whole thing is bullshit. To pretend that i haven't lost one of the only people more important to me than everything. But what is the point of pretending anymore? To you, i already lost it.
To my best friend, i'll love you always and forever.