I'm afraid of the water, I'm afraid of the sky, I'm tired of waiting.
Well, I was really pumped about writing right now, but I think I've just used up all of that motivation venting to people on AIM. Oh well, I'll see what I can salvage to add onto this thing.
Let's see. I'm still on a fucking emotional rollercoaster. I'll be utterly hopeless and depressed one minute and then ecstatically excited and motivated the next. It's cool when I'm feeling excited, like now. It's almost worth all of the bad parts that come along with it. Almost.
I don't think I'm going bipolar or anything (unless mental issues like that have become contagious all of a sudden - there seems to be a lot going around lately), since it's definitely not usual for me to have these spurts of energy like this. I'm thinking it must just be something to do with everything that's been going on lately. I've got a lot of stuff to think about and decide on and I'm just dealing with it all by acting this way. Or something. I just made that up, I don't really know. I'm not a psychologist.
OHO! That's a piece of news, though. I'm going to see a therapist soon about my social anxiety/depression dealio. So that should be a good thing if everything goes according to plan. I can't believe I didn't insist on some kind of treatment earlier. I don't know why I didn't. When I'm depressed, I just don't really care I guess. I think that there's no hope so there's no use trying to do anything about it. Basically - it sucks, and I just end up digging myself into a bigger hole of depressing junkness (not right now, though - right now I feel like I'm on speed...not that I'd know what that's like). I think it'll do me some good, though. Hopefully. I mean, I would really enjoy it if I could open up and talk in public places like school more than I do. I'd also enjoy it if I could walk my dog down the street without worrying about - God forbid - seeing PEOPLE outside that I'd have to walk by. Oh God. Even kids. If I see kids playing around outside on one street, I will be sure to take a different route if I have the option available. That's right, you heard it here first - David Lynn fears little kids. Anything like that just gets to me. Being around anyone at any time. Hell, when it's just me and one or two FRIENDS in the car sometimes I'll catch myself worrying about what they're thinking of me at that moment in time. I'll be scared as hell about it, too. And that's not normal.
So yeah, hopefully that'll get fixed up soon.
And I still need a job. THIS weekend, I'll fill out some applications. For serious this time. Cross my heart, blahblahblah (trying not to think about death, so I can prolong this good mood). I'll talk to Ariana a bit more about that job at Mosaic (Mozaic?). Hopefully she'll be able to get me the hookups. I dig Ariana. She rules. Just like basically everyone else in Lyrical History. I love that damn class. That will probably be the class I miss most once summer comes. It's especially great now that school's wrapping up - all we're doing is listening to everyone's favorite music and talking while sitting in a circle. Now that is what school should be. Hell, Tillye even brought in her record player today. In what other class would we blast Neutral Milk Hotel on a record player? God, I love that class.
Speaking of music, I've been listening to the same song over and over again since about 8 o'clock. "Shut Up I Am Dreaming of Places Where Lovers Have Wings" by Sunset Rubdown (one of the dudes in Wolf Parade's side project). Great, great, great, great, great song. Listen to it. Iz gud.
I forget what else I wanted to talk about. School sucks, glad it's over soon. I need to stop procrastinating with this Physics project - fucking damnit I hate that class. No one ever take it ever. Ever. Seriously. Shit damn.
Should be an interesting weekend.
Hell, should be an interesting next couple days.
Lots of changes going on. Lots of changes about to happen.
Hope all of them turn out for the best.
Hope everyone feels better.
Don't make a sound.
Let's see. I'm still on a fucking emotional rollercoaster. I'll be utterly hopeless and depressed one minute and then ecstatically excited and motivated the next. It's cool when I'm feeling excited, like now. It's almost worth all of the bad parts that come along with it. Almost.
I don't think I'm going bipolar or anything (unless mental issues like that have become contagious all of a sudden - there seems to be a lot going around lately), since it's definitely not usual for me to have these spurts of energy like this. I'm thinking it must just be something to do with everything that's been going on lately. I've got a lot of stuff to think about and decide on and I'm just dealing with it all by acting this way. Or something. I just made that up, I don't really know. I'm not a psychologist.
OHO! That's a piece of news, though. I'm going to see a therapist soon about my social anxiety/depression dealio. So that should be a good thing if everything goes according to plan. I can't believe I didn't insist on some kind of treatment earlier. I don't know why I didn't. When I'm depressed, I just don't really care I guess. I think that there's no hope so there's no use trying to do anything about it. Basically - it sucks, and I just end up digging myself into a bigger hole of depressing junkness (not right now, though - right now I feel like I'm on speed...not that I'd know what that's like). I think it'll do me some good, though. Hopefully. I mean, I would really enjoy it if I could open up and talk in public places like school more than I do. I'd also enjoy it if I could walk my dog down the street without worrying about - God forbid - seeing PEOPLE outside that I'd have to walk by. Oh God. Even kids. If I see kids playing around outside on one street, I will be sure to take a different route if I have the option available. That's right, you heard it here first - David Lynn fears little kids. Anything like that just gets to me. Being around anyone at any time. Hell, when it's just me and one or two FRIENDS in the car sometimes I'll catch myself worrying about what they're thinking of me at that moment in time. I'll be scared as hell about it, too. And that's not normal.
So yeah, hopefully that'll get fixed up soon.
And I still need a job. THIS weekend, I'll fill out some applications. For serious this time. Cross my heart, blahblahblah (trying not to think about death, so I can prolong this good mood). I'll talk to Ariana a bit more about that job at Mosaic (Mozaic?). Hopefully she'll be able to get me the hookups. I dig Ariana. She rules. Just like basically everyone else in Lyrical History. I love that damn class. That will probably be the class I miss most once summer comes. It's especially great now that school's wrapping up - all we're doing is listening to everyone's favorite music and talking while sitting in a circle. Now that is what school should be. Hell, Tillye even brought in her record player today. In what other class would we blast Neutral Milk Hotel on a record player? God, I love that class.
Speaking of music, I've been listening to the same song over and over again since about 8 o'clock. "Shut Up I Am Dreaming of Places Where Lovers Have Wings" by Sunset Rubdown (one of the dudes in Wolf Parade's side project). Great, great, great, great, great song. Listen to it. Iz gud.
I forget what else I wanted to talk about. School sucks, glad it's over soon. I need to stop procrastinating with this Physics project - fucking damnit I hate that class. No one ever take it ever. Ever. Seriously. Shit damn.
Should be an interesting weekend.
Hell, should be an interesting next couple days.
Lots of changes going on. Lots of changes about to happen.
Hope all of them turn out for the best.
Hope everyone feels better.
Don't make a sound.