fic: the art of love (part 6/9)
title: the art of love
fandom: glee
pairing: kurt/karofsky; blaine/kurt, mentions of finn/rachel
summary: Kurt is a fashionable singer who is loved by his friends. Dave is the recently outed football player who once made Kurt's life hell. Apart from being partners for an art project, they couldn't have anything else in common... right?
rating: pg-13
notes: Home stretch of the four week hiatus. WE'RE ALMOST THERE :D
When the knock at his bedroom door comes, Kurt looks around from his bed, wondering firstly, who in the world knocks on bedroom doors, and secondly, who would be visiting him at 11 AM? Slowly getting to his feet, he presses a hand to his forehead for a moment, waiting for the dizziness to pass. Pulling the sweatshirt the Finn had lent him around him tighter, he decides that getting the door is seriously not worth it.
“Go away.”
There’s another knock, before a pause. “Uh, Hummel? Or, uh, Kurt?”
Kurt swears loudly under his breath, wondering who the fuck let Dave Karofsky into his house. Swinging his legs out from underneath him, he wobbled over to his door, pulling it open just a crack. And in fact, Dave was standing there, one hand shoved into his pocket. The other holding out a Robek’s smoothie to him.
Kurt blanked, only staring at him.
“Uh, can I come in? Hudson’s mom told me you were up here…”
“What are you doing here?” Kurt asks quietly, his eyes fixed on the smoothie, because he already knows its for him, and there’s no possible way that Dave Karofsky could possibly know that they are his one and only weakness.
With a shrug, Dave hands him the cool Styrofoam cup and straw. “I only went to school today to talk to Figgins about what happened yesterday. After he took my statement, I was free to go. So I wanted to come and check on how you were doing… Is that okay?”
“Oh. Yeah. That’s. That’s fine.” Kurt’s mumbling, because he doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing, or even more, what the hell is going on. His fingernails dig into the Styrofoam cup. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
Kurt closes his eyes for a second, holding his breath. “You really shouldn’t be here. I - I appreciate everything. But you shouldn’t - “
Karofsky’s smiling, and it’s a strange sight, because it’s probably the first time Kurt’s seen him smiling without it being brought on by inflicting some sort of torture or pain. “I probably shouldn’t. But that’s not going to stop me… So, can I come in?”
At some point later this evening, he’s probably going to blame it on the fact that he’s still delirious from the concussion, but he opens his bedroom door to Dave Karofsky and lets him in. In a blurry confusion, he watches as the other boy walks into his room, and Kurt still can’t really understand or believe what’s going on, but thinking about it makes his head hurt, so he is just thankful for the smoothie.
“How did you know I like these, anyway?” Kurt asks simply, taking a sip as he pulls his comforter back over him.
Dave shrugs, sitting down on the corner of his bed. “Asked around. Not a big deal.”
Kurt nods wordlessly, swallowing despite the newfound dryness in his mouth. Things like this aren’t supposed to happen. People aren’t supposed to drive all over the county to buy Kurt Hummel a smoothie just because he likes them. And especially people who happen to be Dave Karofsky. It’s like everything he’s come to know has been turned on his head.
Karofsky’s staring at his hands, and not saying anything.
With a sigh, Kurt puts the drink on his bedside table, pulling his blankets up closer to his chest. “Why are you really here?” he asks softly.
There’s a bitter laugh, which throws Kurt a bit. Karofsky still won’t look at him, and that’s the thing that’s really getting to him. “Apart from having my share of concussions and knowing how much they fucking suck…” There’s a beat of silence, and even from where he’s sitting, Kurt can see the tension rise in Karofsky’s shoulders. He can see the smile drop from his face.
“After everything that happened yesterday, you deserve to know…” his voice cracks on the last part, which terrifies Kurt. This wasn’t what he was expecting at all when he had asked him this. Honestly, he hadn’t really known what was going to happen, but all he knew was that this wasn’t what he had been counting on. “You deserve to know what happened when they found out…”
Shit.
“Karof - Dave…” Kurt whispered, his voice sounding so strangled that it almost sounded like someone else. “You don’t have to do this unless you want to.” He inwardly winces, because he’s not even sure if he’s ready to hear this.
Karofsky smiles sadly at him, and Kurt swears his heart breaks a little. “At this point, don’t you think I owe it to you?”
Kurt splutters a bit, shaking his head. “I don’t - I never meant - I’m sorry if you…” Karofsky’s still just smiling, crossing his arms and Kurt realizes that there’s nothing in the world that could possibly change his mind at this point.
___
The weirdest thing happened yesterday, and when I say weird, I mean it every possible sense of the word. I wasn’t feeling very well, and my total enemy shows up at my house, brings me a smoothie (which he skipped school to do) and proceed to share with me what has to be most horrible thing that’s ever happened to him. I don’t know if this was supposed to be some sort of apology for everything that’s happened in the past between us - but there’s a part of me that always wants to be a jerk to him. Only, this time I knew that by doing so I would be wrong. Am I making sense? I’ve said some pretty shitty things to him in the past, and he’s apologized about seventeen times. Granted, I’m not going to say everything’s a-ok now, but I’m thinking maybe I need to apologize for being a bit of an asshole to him.
Wow, I’m totally hogging the spotlight. Again with the asshole act. I’m finally better, but I had to quit the team for the rest of the season (doctor’s orders!) I think with all my new free time I’m going to catch up on some reading. And nothing goes better with a good book than some coffee!
How’s everything with you? How’s your team doing?
E
Dave smiles as he reads Kurt’s email. It’s not like he had expected the two of them to be joined at the hip immediately, but it’s nice to see that he’s making some progress out of douchebag land.
Staring at the email for a just a second, he bites down on his lip, his fingers hovering above his car keys for just a second. On one hand, this is totally walking into creepy stalker territory. On the other - it’s just going for a cup of coffee.
Right?
He is so not a creepy stalker.
Even though The Lima Bean is pretty crowded, he spots Kurt almost right away. He’s sitting at one of the smaller tables by the window. In the light of the sun, Dave can still see the faint bruising on his temple and neck, but none of it seems to be keeping Kurt from burying himself in a weathered copy of Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close.
With a smile on his face, Dave buys a coffee and heads over to Kurt’s table. When he pulls out the chair and sits down across from Kurt, he doesn’t even look up from his book. Just sitting there for a moment, taking a sip from his coffee, Dave grins. “So, feeling much better, I see.”
Kurt jumps in his seat, placing a hand over his chest and dropping his book onto the ground in a frantic mess. “Holy shit. What’re you doing?” Dave just smirks, shaking his head in amusement as Kurt tries to regain his composure and miserably fails at it.
“I like coffee. You like coffee. And this is the only decent place in town…”
Kurt raises an eyebrow doubtfully. “Really?” Dave just shrugs innocently, and even Kurt can’t argue with someone just trying to get coffee. He deflates, putting his book down onto the table. “Thanks for coming to see me yesterday. And for the smoothie, and for…” He can’t bring himself to say the rest, the words getting caught in his throat.
Dave’s not smiling anymore. “Don’t mention it. I figure you must’ve been lonely, and with what I needed to do, it all kind of made sense…”
Kurt nods carefully, running a finger around the rim of his coffee cup, watching the person across from him. Who, for a long time, he thought he knew who it was. He thought he had him figured out. But apparently, and especially after what had happened last night - he didn’t. He didn’t even know who in the world Dave Karofsky was.
The uncomfortable silence is starting to get to him, and for a moment, he can only wonder why Karofsky would sit down with him if this was going to be the only byproduct of doing so.
“I’m glad you’re okay. I don’t think I ever said that…” Dave finally says rolling his shoulders awkwardly.
Kurt looks up from his cups, smiling weakly. “Thanks. I’m sorry that everything had to end like that between you and your - uh, friends?”
Dave smiles, chuckling. “Thanks. They were never really my friends, but I get what you’re saying, and that means something.” He’s really aware of the fact that Kurt is desperately trying to hold up his end of the ‘trying to not be so much of an asshole’ part today. He’s also aware that both of them are single, interested in guys, and engaging in conversation together at a local coffee shop on a Saturday afternoon by themselves.
If this isn’t pretty fucking close to a date, Dave’s not sure what is. Although, this has to be one of the most awkward first dates he’s ever been on - which really isn’t possible considering that all the other first dates he’s been on, he wasn’t really interested in the other person…
“So… did you ever meet your mystery man?” Dave tries, hoping to start some conversation before Kurt can drum up some sort of excuse and make his way out of the shop.
Kurt smirks, shaking his head and relaxing a bit at that moment. . “Nah. He never showed up after you left.”
“He stood you up? Damn…”
Even though Kurt rolls his eyes, he laughs brightly. “He apologized later. He really is a nice guy.”
It’s Dave’s turn to smile at that point, as he holds his hands up in a gesture of innocence. “Hey, I never said he wasn’t. All I’m saying is that if he’s such a great guy, how come you haven’t met him yet?”
“Well, I don’t know. It just hasn’t come up…”
Behind the lip of his coffee cup, Dave smiles. This is actually coming together better than he’d hoped. It’s refreshing, exhilarating, and even a little bit scary to think that Dave’s here with Kurt. And they’re coexisting with one another. And - he can’t even believe that he’s going to be able to say this - he’s having a good time, and he’s pretty sure that Kurt’s enjoying himself as well. Okay, well, maybe that’s being a bit over exaggerated on his part, but the fact that they haven’t killed one another yet is a plus.
“So just ask him out. If he’s single, and I heard about your breakup with Curly, so there’s no time like the present,” Dave replies, swallowing his coffee.
When Dave says ‘Curly’, Kurt starts to laugh again. Only, this time, he catches himself and quiets himself down, throwing one of his hands over his mouth. Almost like he’s afraid that someone they know is going to see them together and see that Kurt is actually enjoying himself with Dave Karofsky. It kind of hurts Dave to see that Kurt feels that he needs to censor himself, but on the other hand, he hasn’t left yet. So he’ll take what he can get.
“Maybe I will,” Kurt hisses back, practically sticking out his tongue.
“Yeah, sure. Okay.”
“I will!”
“Okay, fine!”
The fact that both of them are laughing and smiling at this point goes unnoticed until they both catch one another’s eye. Then, as if the light bulb goes off, the smiles drop from their faces, and they both busy themselves with whatever they can. Because it’s becoming more and more evident that things like this shouldn’t happen. And more than that, they’re not supposed to let things like this happen. Dave and Kurt - they aren’t supposed to laugh with one another, or joke, or even smile at one another. It’s against some unspoken rule.
“Kurt…”
“Wait,” Kurt starts, interrupting Dave’s thought completely. The other boy sighs, long and drawn out. His lips are pressed into a thin line as he turns his gaze up to focus on Dave. “I need to say something to you. And I’ve been wanting to say it for a bit of time…” Kurt clears his throat, placing his hands into his lap and looking down at them for a bit. It’s weird seeing him like this, and it’s even weirder to be in a pretty intimate setting with him. The two of them - they’re not supposed to get along. They’re supposed to be at each other’s throats, and no matter how badly Dave had tried to avoid it or wanted a different outcome, he’d forced himself to come and accept it.
“I’m sorry. For the way I’ve been acting lately. It’s been extremely immature and completely out of hand considering that you’re at least making an attempt to make this - whatever we have going on right now - work, and I’m just dragging my feet like a toddler, not wanting to let go of the fact that you hurt me. But on the same note, you’ve apologized multiple times, and even though I don’t want to admit it, by some miraculous grace of whatever new deity people have been praising, you’ve changed. So, I’m really am sorry for how much of a jerk I’ve been. And thank you. For everything you did this past week. If you hadn’t called him - if Azimio didn’t know that you were in the locker room, I don’t know…” At that point, his voice sort of gives out on him, and he grabs his coffee cup, making a deliberate move to take a sip from it. Dave’s pretty sure that there’s nothing left in it, but he doesn’t really care about that because he’s in shock of the words that just left Kurt Hummel’s mouth.
When he tries to reply back, Kurt stops him by continuing. “I’m not done,” he says simply, drawing in a deep breath, to which Dave just nods at hollowly, because at this point he can barely think, let alone move on his own accord. Kurt’s sitting there, and for a moment, Dave’s pretty sure the other boy is desperately trying to stop himself from crying. But then in the next moment, that look is gone, and he just looks scared. Scared, and alone.
“I understand. I finally understand…” Kurt whispers heavily, his shoulders practically up to his ears at this point.
“What?”
Kurt doesn’t say anything for at least two minutes, which is when Dave wonders if he had just thought ‘what?’ or said it out loud. When he’s about to repeat himself, Kurt sighs, finally looking up at him. His eyes are wide and dark, and to Dave it’s extremely offsetting - because that’s not what Kurt Hummel is. In any way.
“I understand why you did it. The bullying, the tormenting. Even the locker room. I understand finally. To live with that and hold it in for such a long time knowing that if you even spoke about it, the only people that you thought were your friends were going to turn on you - it’d turn anyone into a monster. And you were right…”
Dave fees like he can’t breathe anymore, because this isn’t supposed to be happening. There isn’t supposed to be a ounce of forgiveness coming from Kurt. At least, not yet. And even if did get the forgiveness - the last thing he’d been expecting was understanding.
Kurt swallows thickly, his eyes refocusing on Dave. “When you told me last night about everything that you went through after - after everyone found out about your sexuality, I couldn’t possibly imagine what that must’ve been like. It’s horrible to even listen to it. The worst thing, though, is that you were alone. The whole time. And the people who were the worst were the ones you’re supposed to be able to count on. They’re the ones that are supposed to support you, and yet with you, they’re the ones who made your life a living hell. You went through what I lived through. I barely made it through, but the reason why I did was because of my friends. You did it alone…”
As Dave clears his throat, just trying to add some noise in the silence that’s settled down between them, he still can’t comprehend what’s happening. Because no one’s ever acted like this towards him. No one’s felt sorry for him, or thought about him, or even considered the way he feels for more than a second.
“I’m not saying I’m sorry for how I responded before, because I think I responded accurately at the time. But I am sorry for not trying to understand what you were going through. I’m not perfect myself. And I didn’t even consider that here you were going through what could’ve been ten times worse what I did…”
“Stop,” Dave eventually says, because at this point he can’t listen to anymore of it. “Just… just stop…” he says, reaching over and grabbing onto Kurt’s hand. Kurt freezes under the touch, peering up into Dave’s eyes, a touch of bewilderment in his expression. Dave sighs, rubbing his hand over his face.
“Look, I appreciate the gesture. But this isn’t your fault, Kurt. None of this is. Stop apologizing. I’ve taken responsibility for my actions and I’m glad that you have accepted my apology, I really am. But never in a million years was I looking for an apology from you. Because I’m not. And as glad as I am that you understand… that’s all you need to do is understand. There’s no need for you to say you’re sorry, or blame yourself, or anything of the sort. It was me, and only me. I’ve come to terms with it and put the past behind me. Do the same….”
Kurt’s watching him, a questioning expression on his face. Dave’s worried that with his sudden outburst and by not letting Kurt just say what he wanted to, he could’ve just ruined any ground that they may have just acquired. But eventually Kurt nods. “Thank you,” he says. The tension of an awkward silence settles on them heavily, before Kurt breaks it. “I guess it’s just hard for me to picture what it must’ve been like. What you must’ve been going through internally, combined with what happened externally. I just feel horrible.”
Dave smiles sadly. “What’re you going to do? Like I said, it’s in the past…”
It’s at that moment that Kurt realizes that his hand is still under Dave’s, which he pulls out wordlessly, placing it back in his lap. What scares him, though, is the fact that it took him a good five minutes to realize that he was on the verge of holding hands with Dave Karofsky. If it was anyone else in that position, he knows what he would’ve said to them.
That if it felt that right, it must’ve been right all along.
“Yeah… the past,” he whispers, more to himself than to anyone else.
___
When Kurt gets the email from AllMixedUp the next morning, it says that even though he’d love to try to meet in person today, he really can’t because he’s swamped with a project for school. Frowning and decided against smashing his face into the keyboard repeatedly, he picks up his phone, still in disbelief of what he’s about to do. But he convinces himself that it’s okay on the grounds that it’s a Sunday and he’s bored and he doesn’t have anything else to do.
A hour and a half later, he’s meeting Dave Karofsky at the small park in town under the premises that they’re going to try to work on some more of their project together. But when Kurt drives up, he leaves his backpack in the car, because at this point, schoolwork is the farthest thing from his mind. It’s actually kind of nice to not have to focus on work.
“So where’s the mystery man?” Dave asks, smiling at Kurt as he sits down on the other side of the bench. Dave’s leaned back against the wooden bench, one foot lazily propped up on his knee.
“He said he had homework…”
Dave laughs for a second before catching himself. “It could be the truth.”
Kurt practically growls at him. “It is the truth! Of course it’s the truth!”
Glancing at Kurt over the top of his sunglasses - which, oh hey, since when did Dave Karofsky actually wear sunglasses - Dave’s grinning now. “What exactly did he say?”
Kurt adjusts himself on the bench. “That he had put off a project too long and he needed to do some work on it.”
“Kurt, seriously, take it from someone who knows. That’s the lamest excuse there is.”
With a short laugh, Kurt finally smiles. “You’re an asshole, you know that?”
Dave shrugs easily. “Proud of it.”
The smile is still lingering on Kurt’s face long after they’ve stopped talking. It’s nice to feel this way, because with everything that’s happened with Blaine, he feels that he hasn’t smiled in such a long time. Or even just been generally happy.
“Should we start the work?”
Dave scrunches up his face in disgust. “No way am I working in weather like this.”
“Isn’t that why we’re here?”
Getting to his feet, Dave brushes himself off, looking down at Kurt. “I mean, if you really want to work on the project, then we can. But I’m all up for enjoying this nice weather. So if you want to join me, please do. If not, that’s fine to. It’s up to you…” Kurt sits there for a moment, looking around the park. Dave just stands there watching him, waiting. In all honesty, he has no intent of working on his project.
“What did you have in mind?” Kurt asks with a smile. Dave smiles, reaching out a hand to pull Kurt to his feet.
“Ever learn how to actually throw a football?” Kurt just laughs at the thought, but follows behind him, because really, they’re just partners for a project. There’s no harm in what they’re doing.
Really.
part VII
fandom: glee
pairing: kurt/karofsky; blaine/kurt, mentions of finn/rachel
summary: Kurt is a fashionable singer who is loved by his friends. Dave is the recently outed football player who once made Kurt's life hell. Apart from being partners for an art project, they couldn't have anything else in common... right?
rating: pg-13
notes: Home stretch of the four week hiatus. WE'RE ALMOST THERE :D
When the knock at his bedroom door comes, Kurt looks around from his bed, wondering firstly, who in the world knocks on bedroom doors, and secondly, who would be visiting him at 11 AM? Slowly getting to his feet, he presses a hand to his forehead for a moment, waiting for the dizziness to pass. Pulling the sweatshirt the Finn had lent him around him tighter, he decides that getting the door is seriously not worth it.
“Go away.”
There’s another knock, before a pause. “Uh, Hummel? Or, uh, Kurt?”
Kurt swears loudly under his breath, wondering who the fuck let Dave Karofsky into his house. Swinging his legs out from underneath him, he wobbled over to his door, pulling it open just a crack. And in fact, Dave was standing there, one hand shoved into his pocket. The other holding out a Robek’s smoothie to him.
Kurt blanked, only staring at him.
“Uh, can I come in? Hudson’s mom told me you were up here…”
“What are you doing here?” Kurt asks quietly, his eyes fixed on the smoothie, because he already knows its for him, and there’s no possible way that Dave Karofsky could possibly know that they are his one and only weakness.
With a shrug, Dave hands him the cool Styrofoam cup and straw. “I only went to school today to talk to Figgins about what happened yesterday. After he took my statement, I was free to go. So I wanted to come and check on how you were doing… Is that okay?”
“Oh. Yeah. That’s. That’s fine.” Kurt’s mumbling, because he doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing, or even more, what the hell is going on. His fingernails dig into the Styrofoam cup. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
Kurt closes his eyes for a second, holding his breath. “You really shouldn’t be here. I - I appreciate everything. But you shouldn’t - “
Karofsky’s smiling, and it’s a strange sight, because it’s probably the first time Kurt’s seen him smiling without it being brought on by inflicting some sort of torture or pain. “I probably shouldn’t. But that’s not going to stop me… So, can I come in?”
At some point later this evening, he’s probably going to blame it on the fact that he’s still delirious from the concussion, but he opens his bedroom door to Dave Karofsky and lets him in. In a blurry confusion, he watches as the other boy walks into his room, and Kurt still can’t really understand or believe what’s going on, but thinking about it makes his head hurt, so he is just thankful for the smoothie.
“How did you know I like these, anyway?” Kurt asks simply, taking a sip as he pulls his comforter back over him.
Dave shrugs, sitting down on the corner of his bed. “Asked around. Not a big deal.”
Kurt nods wordlessly, swallowing despite the newfound dryness in his mouth. Things like this aren’t supposed to happen. People aren’t supposed to drive all over the county to buy Kurt Hummel a smoothie just because he likes them. And especially people who happen to be Dave Karofsky. It’s like everything he’s come to know has been turned on his head.
Karofsky’s staring at his hands, and not saying anything.
With a sigh, Kurt puts the drink on his bedside table, pulling his blankets up closer to his chest. “Why are you really here?” he asks softly.
There’s a bitter laugh, which throws Kurt a bit. Karofsky still won’t look at him, and that’s the thing that’s really getting to him. “Apart from having my share of concussions and knowing how much they fucking suck…” There’s a beat of silence, and even from where he’s sitting, Kurt can see the tension rise in Karofsky’s shoulders. He can see the smile drop from his face.
“After everything that happened yesterday, you deserve to know…” his voice cracks on the last part, which terrifies Kurt. This wasn’t what he was expecting at all when he had asked him this. Honestly, he hadn’t really known what was going to happen, but all he knew was that this wasn’t what he had been counting on. “You deserve to know what happened when they found out…”
Shit.
“Karof - Dave…” Kurt whispered, his voice sounding so strangled that it almost sounded like someone else. “You don’t have to do this unless you want to.” He inwardly winces, because he’s not even sure if he’s ready to hear this.
Karofsky smiles sadly at him, and Kurt swears his heart breaks a little. “At this point, don’t you think I owe it to you?”
Kurt splutters a bit, shaking his head. “I don’t - I never meant - I’m sorry if you…” Karofsky’s still just smiling, crossing his arms and Kurt realizes that there’s nothing in the world that could possibly change his mind at this point.
___
The weirdest thing happened yesterday, and when I say weird, I mean it every possible sense of the word. I wasn’t feeling very well, and my total enemy shows up at my house, brings me a smoothie (which he skipped school to do) and proceed to share with me what has to be most horrible thing that’s ever happened to him. I don’t know if this was supposed to be some sort of apology for everything that’s happened in the past between us - but there’s a part of me that always wants to be a jerk to him. Only, this time I knew that by doing so I would be wrong. Am I making sense? I’ve said some pretty shitty things to him in the past, and he’s apologized about seventeen times. Granted, I’m not going to say everything’s a-ok now, but I’m thinking maybe I need to apologize for being a bit of an asshole to him.
Wow, I’m totally hogging the spotlight. Again with the asshole act. I’m finally better, but I had to quit the team for the rest of the season (doctor’s orders!) I think with all my new free time I’m going to catch up on some reading. And nothing goes better with a good book than some coffee!
How’s everything with you? How’s your team doing?
E
Dave smiles as he reads Kurt’s email. It’s not like he had expected the two of them to be joined at the hip immediately, but it’s nice to see that he’s making some progress out of douchebag land.
Staring at the email for a just a second, he bites down on his lip, his fingers hovering above his car keys for just a second. On one hand, this is totally walking into creepy stalker territory. On the other - it’s just going for a cup of coffee.
Right?
He is so not a creepy stalker.
Even though The Lima Bean is pretty crowded, he spots Kurt almost right away. He’s sitting at one of the smaller tables by the window. In the light of the sun, Dave can still see the faint bruising on his temple and neck, but none of it seems to be keeping Kurt from burying himself in a weathered copy of Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close.
With a smile on his face, Dave buys a coffee and heads over to Kurt’s table. When he pulls out the chair and sits down across from Kurt, he doesn’t even look up from his book. Just sitting there for a moment, taking a sip from his coffee, Dave grins. “So, feeling much better, I see.”
Kurt jumps in his seat, placing a hand over his chest and dropping his book onto the ground in a frantic mess. “Holy shit. What’re you doing?” Dave just smirks, shaking his head in amusement as Kurt tries to regain his composure and miserably fails at it.
“I like coffee. You like coffee. And this is the only decent place in town…”
Kurt raises an eyebrow doubtfully. “Really?” Dave just shrugs innocently, and even Kurt can’t argue with someone just trying to get coffee. He deflates, putting his book down onto the table. “Thanks for coming to see me yesterday. And for the smoothie, and for…” He can’t bring himself to say the rest, the words getting caught in his throat.
Dave’s not smiling anymore. “Don’t mention it. I figure you must’ve been lonely, and with what I needed to do, it all kind of made sense…”
Kurt nods carefully, running a finger around the rim of his coffee cup, watching the person across from him. Who, for a long time, he thought he knew who it was. He thought he had him figured out. But apparently, and especially after what had happened last night - he didn’t. He didn’t even know who in the world Dave Karofsky was.
The uncomfortable silence is starting to get to him, and for a moment, he can only wonder why Karofsky would sit down with him if this was going to be the only byproduct of doing so.
“I’m glad you’re okay. I don’t think I ever said that…” Dave finally says rolling his shoulders awkwardly.
Kurt looks up from his cups, smiling weakly. “Thanks. I’m sorry that everything had to end like that between you and your - uh, friends?”
Dave smiles, chuckling. “Thanks. They were never really my friends, but I get what you’re saying, and that means something.” He’s really aware of the fact that Kurt is desperately trying to hold up his end of the ‘trying to not be so much of an asshole’ part today. He’s also aware that both of them are single, interested in guys, and engaging in conversation together at a local coffee shop on a Saturday afternoon by themselves.
If this isn’t pretty fucking close to a date, Dave’s not sure what is. Although, this has to be one of the most awkward first dates he’s ever been on - which really isn’t possible considering that all the other first dates he’s been on, he wasn’t really interested in the other person…
“So… did you ever meet your mystery man?” Dave tries, hoping to start some conversation before Kurt can drum up some sort of excuse and make his way out of the shop.
Kurt smirks, shaking his head and relaxing a bit at that moment. . “Nah. He never showed up after you left.”
“He stood you up? Damn…”
Even though Kurt rolls his eyes, he laughs brightly. “He apologized later. He really is a nice guy.”
It’s Dave’s turn to smile at that point, as he holds his hands up in a gesture of innocence. “Hey, I never said he wasn’t. All I’m saying is that if he’s such a great guy, how come you haven’t met him yet?”
“Well, I don’t know. It just hasn’t come up…”
Behind the lip of his coffee cup, Dave smiles. This is actually coming together better than he’d hoped. It’s refreshing, exhilarating, and even a little bit scary to think that Dave’s here with Kurt. And they’re coexisting with one another. And - he can’t even believe that he’s going to be able to say this - he’s having a good time, and he’s pretty sure that Kurt’s enjoying himself as well. Okay, well, maybe that’s being a bit over exaggerated on his part, but the fact that they haven’t killed one another yet is a plus.
“So just ask him out. If he’s single, and I heard about your breakup with Curly, so there’s no time like the present,” Dave replies, swallowing his coffee.
When Dave says ‘Curly’, Kurt starts to laugh again. Only, this time, he catches himself and quiets himself down, throwing one of his hands over his mouth. Almost like he’s afraid that someone they know is going to see them together and see that Kurt is actually enjoying himself with Dave Karofsky. It kind of hurts Dave to see that Kurt feels that he needs to censor himself, but on the other hand, he hasn’t left yet. So he’ll take what he can get.
“Maybe I will,” Kurt hisses back, practically sticking out his tongue.
“Yeah, sure. Okay.”
“I will!”
“Okay, fine!”
The fact that both of them are laughing and smiling at this point goes unnoticed until they both catch one another’s eye. Then, as if the light bulb goes off, the smiles drop from their faces, and they both busy themselves with whatever they can. Because it’s becoming more and more evident that things like this shouldn’t happen. And more than that, they’re not supposed to let things like this happen. Dave and Kurt - they aren’t supposed to laugh with one another, or joke, or even smile at one another. It’s against some unspoken rule.
“Kurt…”
“Wait,” Kurt starts, interrupting Dave’s thought completely. The other boy sighs, long and drawn out. His lips are pressed into a thin line as he turns his gaze up to focus on Dave. “I need to say something to you. And I’ve been wanting to say it for a bit of time…” Kurt clears his throat, placing his hands into his lap and looking down at them for a bit. It’s weird seeing him like this, and it’s even weirder to be in a pretty intimate setting with him. The two of them - they’re not supposed to get along. They’re supposed to be at each other’s throats, and no matter how badly Dave had tried to avoid it or wanted a different outcome, he’d forced himself to come and accept it.
“I’m sorry. For the way I’ve been acting lately. It’s been extremely immature and completely out of hand considering that you’re at least making an attempt to make this - whatever we have going on right now - work, and I’m just dragging my feet like a toddler, not wanting to let go of the fact that you hurt me. But on the same note, you’ve apologized multiple times, and even though I don’t want to admit it, by some miraculous grace of whatever new deity people have been praising, you’ve changed. So, I’m really am sorry for how much of a jerk I’ve been. And thank you. For everything you did this past week. If you hadn’t called him - if Azimio didn’t know that you were in the locker room, I don’t know…” At that point, his voice sort of gives out on him, and he grabs his coffee cup, making a deliberate move to take a sip from it. Dave’s pretty sure that there’s nothing left in it, but he doesn’t really care about that because he’s in shock of the words that just left Kurt Hummel’s mouth.
When he tries to reply back, Kurt stops him by continuing. “I’m not done,” he says simply, drawing in a deep breath, to which Dave just nods at hollowly, because at this point he can barely think, let alone move on his own accord. Kurt’s sitting there, and for a moment, Dave’s pretty sure the other boy is desperately trying to stop himself from crying. But then in the next moment, that look is gone, and he just looks scared. Scared, and alone.
“I understand. I finally understand…” Kurt whispers heavily, his shoulders practically up to his ears at this point.
“What?”
Kurt doesn’t say anything for at least two minutes, which is when Dave wonders if he had just thought ‘what?’ or said it out loud. When he’s about to repeat himself, Kurt sighs, finally looking up at him. His eyes are wide and dark, and to Dave it’s extremely offsetting - because that’s not what Kurt Hummel is. In any way.
“I understand why you did it. The bullying, the tormenting. Even the locker room. I understand finally. To live with that and hold it in for such a long time knowing that if you even spoke about it, the only people that you thought were your friends were going to turn on you - it’d turn anyone into a monster. And you were right…”
Dave fees like he can’t breathe anymore, because this isn’t supposed to be happening. There isn’t supposed to be a ounce of forgiveness coming from Kurt. At least, not yet. And even if did get the forgiveness - the last thing he’d been expecting was understanding.
Kurt swallows thickly, his eyes refocusing on Dave. “When you told me last night about everything that you went through after - after everyone found out about your sexuality, I couldn’t possibly imagine what that must’ve been like. It’s horrible to even listen to it. The worst thing, though, is that you were alone. The whole time. And the people who were the worst were the ones you’re supposed to be able to count on. They’re the ones that are supposed to support you, and yet with you, they’re the ones who made your life a living hell. You went through what I lived through. I barely made it through, but the reason why I did was because of my friends. You did it alone…”
As Dave clears his throat, just trying to add some noise in the silence that’s settled down between them, he still can’t comprehend what’s happening. Because no one’s ever acted like this towards him. No one’s felt sorry for him, or thought about him, or even considered the way he feels for more than a second.
“I’m not saying I’m sorry for how I responded before, because I think I responded accurately at the time. But I am sorry for not trying to understand what you were going through. I’m not perfect myself. And I didn’t even consider that here you were going through what could’ve been ten times worse what I did…”
“Stop,” Dave eventually says, because at this point he can’t listen to anymore of it. “Just… just stop…” he says, reaching over and grabbing onto Kurt’s hand. Kurt freezes under the touch, peering up into Dave’s eyes, a touch of bewilderment in his expression. Dave sighs, rubbing his hand over his face.
“Look, I appreciate the gesture. But this isn’t your fault, Kurt. None of this is. Stop apologizing. I’ve taken responsibility for my actions and I’m glad that you have accepted my apology, I really am. But never in a million years was I looking for an apology from you. Because I’m not. And as glad as I am that you understand… that’s all you need to do is understand. There’s no need for you to say you’re sorry, or blame yourself, or anything of the sort. It was me, and only me. I’ve come to terms with it and put the past behind me. Do the same….”
Kurt’s watching him, a questioning expression on his face. Dave’s worried that with his sudden outburst and by not letting Kurt just say what he wanted to, he could’ve just ruined any ground that they may have just acquired. But eventually Kurt nods. “Thank you,” he says. The tension of an awkward silence settles on them heavily, before Kurt breaks it. “I guess it’s just hard for me to picture what it must’ve been like. What you must’ve been going through internally, combined with what happened externally. I just feel horrible.”
Dave smiles sadly. “What’re you going to do? Like I said, it’s in the past…”
It’s at that moment that Kurt realizes that his hand is still under Dave’s, which he pulls out wordlessly, placing it back in his lap. What scares him, though, is the fact that it took him a good five minutes to realize that he was on the verge of holding hands with Dave Karofsky. If it was anyone else in that position, he knows what he would’ve said to them.
That if it felt that right, it must’ve been right all along.
“Yeah… the past,” he whispers, more to himself than to anyone else.
___
When Kurt gets the email from AllMixedUp the next morning, it says that even though he’d love to try to meet in person today, he really can’t because he’s swamped with a project for school. Frowning and decided against smashing his face into the keyboard repeatedly, he picks up his phone, still in disbelief of what he’s about to do. But he convinces himself that it’s okay on the grounds that it’s a Sunday and he’s bored and he doesn’t have anything else to do.
A hour and a half later, he’s meeting Dave Karofsky at the small park in town under the premises that they’re going to try to work on some more of their project together. But when Kurt drives up, he leaves his backpack in the car, because at this point, schoolwork is the farthest thing from his mind. It’s actually kind of nice to not have to focus on work.
“So where’s the mystery man?” Dave asks, smiling at Kurt as he sits down on the other side of the bench. Dave’s leaned back against the wooden bench, one foot lazily propped up on his knee.
“He said he had homework…”
Dave laughs for a second before catching himself. “It could be the truth.”
Kurt practically growls at him. “It is the truth! Of course it’s the truth!”
Glancing at Kurt over the top of his sunglasses - which, oh hey, since when did Dave Karofsky actually wear sunglasses - Dave’s grinning now. “What exactly did he say?”
Kurt adjusts himself on the bench. “That he had put off a project too long and he needed to do some work on it.”
“Kurt, seriously, take it from someone who knows. That’s the lamest excuse there is.”
With a short laugh, Kurt finally smiles. “You’re an asshole, you know that?”
Dave shrugs easily. “Proud of it.”
The smile is still lingering on Kurt’s face long after they’ve stopped talking. It’s nice to feel this way, because with everything that’s happened with Blaine, he feels that he hasn’t smiled in such a long time. Or even just been generally happy.
“Should we start the work?”
Dave scrunches up his face in disgust. “No way am I working in weather like this.”
“Isn’t that why we’re here?”
Getting to his feet, Dave brushes himself off, looking down at Kurt. “I mean, if you really want to work on the project, then we can. But I’m all up for enjoying this nice weather. So if you want to join me, please do. If not, that’s fine to. It’s up to you…” Kurt sits there for a moment, looking around the park. Dave just stands there watching him, waiting. In all honesty, he has no intent of working on his project.
“What did you have in mind?” Kurt asks with a smile. Dave smiles, reaching out a hand to pull Kurt to his feet.
“Ever learn how to actually throw a football?” Kurt just laughs at the thought, but follows behind him, because really, they’re just partners for a project. There’s no harm in what they’re doing.
Really.
part VII