heartbroken, irritated, fustrated, disapointed. ect.
i keep getting a continuious hot flash, i know my hearts breaking, im too familiar with this feeling..... it gets really hot,the anxiety of knowing its coming, sorta like your hearts building its self up to break, then the cold comes it feels like every drop of blood rushes to my feet. Its much like a fall you know your falling, and when you hit your numb, and after all the pain and soreness comes.
We're perfect for each other i know. and i know he knows...
ive said since we first started messin round, not to say anything he didnt mean to me...
but like everyboy i dont think he could help it. At chase and marys on sat. he told me he had an analysis of us. and didnt tell me. i asked what he wanted and i got " a house,
a car, well make that a car and a half, a white picket fence, maybe two kids, dinner and a margarita when i come home, you to ask me how my day was although you wouldnt really care but you would ask anyways,we'd put the kids down, go to our room watch some tv, and yanno...."
i just found out what that analysis was it was " have you ever gotten a toy for christmas that was everything you wanted, but you were too afraid to play with it cus you might scratch it or wreck it? well your that toy."
doesnt seem that way to me. just ugh.... i seriously have loved this boy since we met in 2003? never stopped after a while just said it was best friend/ brother love so it wouldnt be as bad.. well it is.
hes at the airport, tells me to call. i do we get on the topic about the toys, and he says "well i guess we can try it if you want" *sounded in a i guess sorta way* im not comfortable with that so im thinking its going down hill. i dont ever want to be asked out that way ever(thats how i took it his way of asking me out) when somebody askes me out i never want there to be a question in it. never.
im so fed up with boys it isnt even funny. out of all them this one hurts the most.
he says "your making me sad. and sometimes i wish you didnt have a crush on me cus i feel like a douche" it didnt seem that way to me now it feels one sided. i let my gaurds down probably because he said i love you and i trust him more than anybody.
So i told him "well if you want i can get over you, its gonna change things a bit."
he didnt sound thrilled. i knew he was afraid to risk our friendship. And i understand that much.
just feels like ive invested so much in him that i dont wanna give up but i sorta got to.
ugh, i didnt know what to say, and him thinking made me uncomfortable, so i told him to take his time thinking because he was quiet while thinking, and i didnt know what to do. so i told him to call me when he is done, be it a couple days and to have a safe flight...
why am i such a fool lord please tell me that?
this song says it all..... i swear.
We're perfect for each other i know. and i know he knows...
ive said since we first started messin round, not to say anything he didnt mean to me...
but like everyboy i dont think he could help it. At chase and marys on sat. he told me he had an analysis of us. and didnt tell me. i asked what he wanted and i got " a house,
a car, well make that a car and a half, a white picket fence, maybe two kids, dinner and a margarita when i come home, you to ask me how my day was although you wouldnt really care but you would ask anyways,we'd put the kids down, go to our room watch some tv, and yanno...."
i just found out what that analysis was it was " have you ever gotten a toy for christmas that was everything you wanted, but you were too afraid to play with it cus you might scratch it or wreck it? well your that toy."
doesnt seem that way to me. just ugh.... i seriously have loved this boy since we met in 2003? never stopped after a while just said it was best friend/ brother love so it wouldnt be as bad.. well it is.
hes at the airport, tells me to call. i do we get on the topic about the toys, and he says "well i guess we can try it if you want" *sounded in a i guess sorta way* im not comfortable with that so im thinking its going down hill. i dont ever want to be asked out that way ever(thats how i took it his way of asking me out) when somebody askes me out i never want there to be a question in it. never.
im so fed up with boys it isnt even funny. out of all them this one hurts the most.
he says "your making me sad. and sometimes i wish you didnt have a crush on me cus i feel like a douche" it didnt seem that way to me now it feels one sided. i let my gaurds down probably because he said i love you and i trust him more than anybody.
So i told him "well if you want i can get over you, its gonna change things a bit."
he didnt sound thrilled. i knew he was afraid to risk our friendship. And i understand that much.
just feels like ive invested so much in him that i dont wanna give up but i sorta got to.
ugh, i didnt know what to say, and him thinking made me uncomfortable, so i told him to take his time thinking because he was quiet while thinking, and i didnt know what to do. so i told him to call me when he is done, be it a couple days and to have a safe flight...
why am i such a fool lord please tell me that?
this song says it all..... i swear.