(no subject)
so my mom bought these new books for me, Go Ask Alice and Addict In The Family : Stories of Loss, Hope, and Recovery. You might have an idea in your head about what the books might be about...but if you dont...they basically are about drugggs. But Go Ask Alice is about basically everything: drugs, sex, and weight problems.
I'm already half way done with Go Ask Alice. It's a really intense and I'm already loving it and I sorta have a ways to go.
December 14.
Dear Diary,
Mama won't let me diet anymore. Just between us, I don't really know why its any of her bussiness. It's true I have had a cold for the last couple of weeks, but I know it's not the diet that's causing it. How can she be so stupid and irrational? This morning I was having my usual half grapefruit for breakfast and she made me eat a slice of whole wheat bread and a scrambled egg and a piece of bacon. That's probably at least 400 calories, maybe even five or six or seven hundred!! I don't know why she can't let me live my own life. She doens't like it when I look like a cow, neither does anybody else, I don't even like myself. I wonder if I could go stick my finger down my throat and throw up after every meal? She says I'm going to have to start eating dinner again too, and just when I'm getting down where I want to be and I've been fighting the hunger pangs. Oh, parents are a problem! That's one thing, Diary, you don't have to worry about, only me. And I guess you're not very lucky at all, because I'm certainly no bargain.
July 20,
Dear close, warm, intimate friend, Diary,
What a fantastic, unbelievavble, expanding, thrilling week I've had. It's been like, wow---the greatest thing that has ever happened. Remember I told you I had a date with Bill? Well he introduced me to torpedos on Friday and Speed on Sunday. They are both like riding shooting stars through the Milky way, only a trillion time better. The Speed was a little scary at first because Bill had to inject it right into my arm. I remembered how much I hated shots when I was in the hospital, but this is different, now I can't wait, I positively can't wait to try it again. No wonder it's called Speed! I could hardly control myself., in fact I couldn't have if I had wanted to, and I didn't want to. I danced like I had never dreamed possible for introverted, mousy little me. I felt great, free, abandoned, a different, improved, perfected specimen of a different, improved, perfected species. It was wild! It was beautiful! It really was.
August 6
Deary Diary,
Well last night if happened. I am no longer a virgin! In a way I'm really sorry, beacause I always wanted Roger to be the first and only boy in m life, but he's away and visiting, in fact I haven't seen him since I got here. He might have grown into a gawky, stupid, rambling idiot anyhow. I wonder if sex without acid could be so exiting, so wonderful, so indescribable----.
so basically
im liking this book
it really makes you stop.and.think.