vent vent vent : im spent

Jan 27, 2005 09:05

i dont know if this sickness is getting better or worse, either way it sucks.
now i have that little tickle in my throat that wont go away unless i start coughing like a mad woman.
which really hurts mind you, i cant wait for this shit to go away because its really irritating and hard to sleep at night, ugh... - has coughing fit -, yuck.

we've been keeping spinner in a small kennel/carrier/cage, because he wasnt using the puppy pads anymore, nor was he going when we took him outside, so this was the only alternative, so now i take him out every 3-4 hrs, and he stays in the kennel the rest of the time, this is just temporary until he understands that outside is the place to do his business, i know i should of done this to begin with, but ben assured me that neither of his previous 3 dogs had this problem, and that he never had to cage them up either.
but now even he feels this is the only solution, so i don't know, he has a couple of toys to play with in there, and he seems content or sleeps most of the time he is in there, i hate this for him because he doesnt get much freedom, but i dont see any other way. also it seems like when i take him out, he has alot of anger/energy towards me, and he wont listen, and half the time he doesnt go to the bathroom.
this is one of the toughest things i have had to deal with to date, i just hope it gets better soon.

i never slept very well last night, partly because of the coughing fits, partly because ben left me with no blankets to get warm under and partly because i have alot of shit on my mind right now.

hopefully come march i can get a vacation away from it all to see my family and friends in canada.
it will be nice to be back in the city again toronto/scarborough, where you can walk EVERYWHERE, and oh yes, canadian chocolate bars and damn megan for always talking about POUTINE, i want some now ;[
there is just so much i miss about home and i crave it :[, i just feel so out of place here, i can hardly relate with anyone, nobody understands me, i dont have any friends, i sit at home alone everyday, nobody talks to me, all i have is my mind, and my pets, and im slowly losing my mind...

i just cant wait to see everybody again, hopefully i get my greencard in march like it says on the website... i know im going to miss ben and my small farm of pets, and also a few people down here who have the time of day for me, who are few and far between, but other than that, i'll be glad to be in the place where i spent the first 18 years of my life living, it's not perfect, but it was more of a home than anyone ever made me feel here.

im sorry for being such a negative nancy, but those were some of the things that needed to lifted off my chest, im very frustrated right now ...
Previous post Next post
Up