SFU
I don't believe I have spent such a perculiar amount of time in front of a computer (coupled with the dormant delights of the 'internet), in quite a while.
Contemplations and silent, personal arguments with a smiling scanner, have caused me to give up the plight of pictures, and return back to zine composure in the satisfactory hope that it will soon be finished and ready for reading by my esteemed and not so esteemed peers and commrades.
I am tired, hungry, and have page after page of typed out rough copied articles, lying on this desk, staring at me in sprawled-mess chaos awaiting their turn for the attention that is, to be properly typed up, and maybe even given a nice font should they be good today...I am frustrated, i think i may call Brett tonight.
The thoughts of irritable dissatisfaction in my surroundings (living and setting) are getting more and more. I feel as though in some publicly percieved route of mature-condesendingness i no longer have alot to communicate with these people about, knowingly alienating myself in otherwise good public/social situations, it is a self-sabotage, maybe in reaction to craving difference, mutual convictions, life, good conversations, knowledgable co-existers who are on the ball (so to speak) and a real life relativism that is not only aknowledged, but 'gotten'. I know and feel that shedding yourself of wasteful, draining elements is something that people just never do. I cut off communication with a friend ( highly operative word) i had had for a past 16 years, and i feel much better and lighter having done so. I cannot believe why i didn't get it over with a long time before. It was one of the simplest things i have done, actually requiring me to do nothing, and i feel no ill-feelings about it at all. Some people are draining, and are wasteful and are wastes, and will stay so in dirt circles for the rest of their foreseeable lives. It is very frightening , and i think that if you do not get them away from you, you can only have to deal with and suffer from what you have chosen to give to yourself. The term 'friend' is very light. Do not sprinkle it on whomever gives you the mere stimulation of but a mere sentence. Grant yourself a little more than such trivial people.
I want to create. I want to find people. I want to discuss. I want to act. I want to help form new ideals. I want to have shows, I want to see people at shows. I want very much so for all the things that are quite baron here. It's clear, and always has been as printed onto the bored, synthetic faces of the opaque-natured, CONGENIAL empty-minded well-dressed(very debatable) forgetfull and forgettable masses of this sentenced passionless town.
Ben, don't move to Newcastle just yet. I'll write you soon. And will be there soon, also.
.Cross yr fingers. Touch wood. Spit.
x
Contemplations and silent, personal arguments with a smiling scanner, have caused me to give up the plight of pictures, and return back to zine composure in the satisfactory hope that it will soon be finished and ready for reading by my esteemed and not so esteemed peers and commrades.
I am tired, hungry, and have page after page of typed out rough copied articles, lying on this desk, staring at me in sprawled-mess chaos awaiting their turn for the attention that is, to be properly typed up, and maybe even given a nice font should they be good today...I am frustrated, i think i may call Brett tonight.
The thoughts of irritable dissatisfaction in my surroundings (living and setting) are getting more and more. I feel as though in some publicly percieved route of mature-condesendingness i no longer have alot to communicate with these people about, knowingly alienating myself in otherwise good public/social situations, it is a self-sabotage, maybe in reaction to craving difference, mutual convictions, life, good conversations, knowledgable co-existers who are on the ball (so to speak) and a real life relativism that is not only aknowledged, but 'gotten'. I know and feel that shedding yourself of wasteful, draining elements is something that people just never do. I cut off communication with a friend ( highly operative word) i had had for a past 16 years, and i feel much better and lighter having done so. I cannot believe why i didn't get it over with a long time before. It was one of the simplest things i have done, actually requiring me to do nothing, and i feel no ill-feelings about it at all. Some people are draining, and are wasteful and are wastes, and will stay so in dirt circles for the rest of their foreseeable lives. It is very frightening , and i think that if you do not get them away from you, you can only have to deal with and suffer from what you have chosen to give to yourself. The term 'friend' is very light. Do not sprinkle it on whomever gives you the mere stimulation of but a mere sentence. Grant yourself a little more than such trivial people.
I want to create. I want to find people. I want to discuss. I want to act. I want to help form new ideals. I want to have shows, I want to see people at shows. I want very much so for all the things that are quite baron here. It's clear, and always has been as printed onto the bored, synthetic faces of the opaque-natured, CONGENIAL empty-minded well-dressed(very debatable) forgetfull and forgettable masses of this sentenced passionless town.
Ben, don't move to Newcastle just yet. I'll write you soon. And will be there soon, also.
.Cross yr fingers. Touch wood. Spit.
x