(no subject)
yesterday i had sex with my old shrink.
well..."i" didn't...someone else did...but it's my body and they're all me anyway, so...
i was reading through my journal this morning to see what "others" had written in it yesterday and last night.
brian wrote that he was sorry.
that he needed someone to hold him and tell him he was beautiful and special.
he needed someone to say they loved him even if it was just a lie and that david (the shrink) was the only safe person he knew.
i feel sick knowing my shrink fucked me.
i feel sick and hate myself for it.
i know he'll call now.
i know he'll think this can happen again and he'll call looking for it to happen again.
i'm just turning back into a whore...i'm gonna be a fuckboy again and i don't want to be.
i'm so fucking angry and disgusted with myself right now.
well..."i" didn't...someone else did...but it's my body and they're all me anyway, so...
i was reading through my journal this morning to see what "others" had written in it yesterday and last night.
brian wrote that he was sorry.
that he needed someone to hold him and tell him he was beautiful and special.
he needed someone to say they loved him even if it was just a lie and that david (the shrink) was the only safe person he knew.
i feel sick knowing my shrink fucked me.
i feel sick and hate myself for it.
i know he'll call now.
i know he'll think this can happen again and he'll call looking for it to happen again.
i'm just turning back into a whore...i'm gonna be a fuckboy again and i don't want to be.
i'm so fucking angry and disgusted with myself right now.