Rock Star Escape Part 1/?
Sorry bout bad grammar, spelling and such... but here goes.. if you like, will fix up later..
1,871 words.. but will fix
Rock Star Escape
Part 1
I looked back into the pulsing crowd, leaving what was their muse, behind. Walking, stumbling more like, over all the wires and things that made tonight possible. Without an ounce of regret, in painful tears I snatched a bottle of Jack Daniels until I found some brandy to relax on. Never when it all started had I thought it would come to this. That my life would actually change so drastically, they said it would happen, they all warned me but as the stupid drunk that I was I didn't listen and just kept on partying. This was the last, or more so the beginning of the end for what was once a highly desired band. It was a self-sacrifice, we quit because we knew we had to, not because we either wanted to or we simply didn't have the fans. We definitely had fans, crazy fans. You could even tell by their ranting rage after we had exited, that they had wanted more, more of what only we had. Most of them were resentful now, as they should be! But they would probably never know why we stopped, that's ok though, we used our fake rock star personas to get through our normal daily life anyway.
We had caught Hollywood fever, the bright lights and wonder had stunned us, we had even fallen susceptible to its mass. But, as the song amazing grace reveals to us, I was once lost, but now am found. Although my amazing grace was still unknown. Maybe it was my own sense of decency and morals, maybe...
I finally moved my way to a green room couch where I flopped down, like I had after every gig, but this time it was different. I stared around the room trying to get my head together, usually I had stared in this room trying to think from an entirely different matter, but I wasn't drunk yet, was too aware to wanna ruin this. I had a flashback of when I first walked up the corridor, the first night we had played to a crowd anywhere near the size we got tonight. The nerves, the whole uncomfortable feel of something new and exciting. Walking up with our instruments and drum sticks just wondering about what it would be like to fulfil our dreams of being a professional rocker!! Going out onto the stage for the first time. Everything was slow-motion, their eyes capturing our every movement, and that is why I came to love performing at Wembley. A dream destination for any striving rock star! Their cheers as we made our way across the stage to our positions, everything was a daze. I remember the thrill of their voices when we started playing our first song. The first night of performing to a crowd that big had been a success and we couldn't wait for the next couple of nights of doing the same. We walked backstage, almost tripping on the ropes and coils that had made the night possible, and trying to find something to calm our nerves. But that was a while ago now, much like the feelings we got coming out tonight, yet entirely different for our last show.
But that was all a memory, now encaptured by my wildest dreams.
I could hear the regret in my voice when I said, "I think we've done the right thing, we weren't cut out for this, it was just too hard."
Cherry answered, "Yeah man, things happen for a reason."
But the disappointment in her voice was clear.
But then it hit me, we could never play to a live audience again, at our young age this was threatening! I suppose none of us had thought about the fact we would live our lives much like a recluse. Would the passion of doing something we love really be sucked straight out if our lives? I had a feeling I would never be as fulfilled as I had been these last few years, ever. But still, convinced, I walked out in search of the hotel, never to come back here again. But that thought slipped me, for now. The bright lights hazed me for a moment, then the lighting from a local pub teased me, leaving me in a half drunken trance. I started to walk over when Willow pulled me back, "Geez man!! Are you trying to get yourself killed!! Your already drunk enough you didn't see the car that nearly ran you over!! C'mon!"
She looked back into the stadium, our lives long lost by now. I could tell the way she looked at me when we were doing a gig, bass was her instrument, it worked with her. And for a while it was her only outlet from pain and angst. But on stage, as she had once told me, everything was different. You were performing a part of you to people whom you don't even know, and they are only there because they want to see you, in a way that only they can.
Tonight I could see the fearful look in her eyes when I introduced the last song, a look of, what do I do? Where do I go now? A look I hadn't seen in her eyes since she was an afraid teenager.
I looked around in search for Cherry, where had she gone?
"she's gone to a bar, she can't take it anymore..."
"what, and you didn't even let me!"
" she's my older sister, Cyndii, I can't tell her what to do, she just fights."
"God our lives are a mess now!!"
We giggled together, something we haven't done In a long while, as we walked back to the hotel to drown out our sorrows.
I woke up in a haze. Unfazed from what happened last night, I got up and walked slowly towards the kitchen to get a glass of water for my massive headache. We've all had those days where we never wanna wake up, where sleep is the ultimate healer. I stumbled back to bed and threw myself down on the mattress; the light was too much for me. Just as I was relaxing I heard a knock at the door. Oh goody!! Sarcasm.
"I'll be there in a minute!!"
"Cyn you've gotta see this!!"
Hesitantly I got up from my safe place and walked over to the door, my head thumping. As soon as I opened the door Willow came bursting through, the way she usually does, and flopped onto the hotels couch.
“Cyndii, read this!!!” she said as she threw me a magazine. The title read, Where has rock gone??
I continued to read;
What has been the greatest rock band of this decade, has disappointed many fans last night by announcing their permanent finish to show business, in an unexpected and sudden decision. This was announced at last nights gig in Wembley Stadium, the end of many shows in a world tour for the band. The band members, Cyndii Voltt (front-girl), Willow Manson (bass, vocals) and Cherry Valance (drums, percussion) were hardly 20 and had failed to give a reason at last nights gig. None of the band members were available for comment; it had seemed as though they had disappeared in a hurry after the show. Sure enough many sad fans will be wondering what’s happening next, just a stunt for a career boost? I think not, these guys are serious, so don’t get your hopes up fans, seems as though they won’t be back in a hurry!
I glanced at the rest of the article, but in my fury I threw it against the wall. Willow just looked at me.
“ What dya reckon its gonna be like now? We couldn’t ever go back to our normal lives…..”
“Willow, we created the rockstar peronas for a reason, we just need to look decent and we can go back to our lives, before all this started!”
“But… before we were famous our lives were rock anyway, you know obsessing over bands and songs…gigs and new instruments and stuff like that. Now we’ve experienced it, I don’t think I could ever look at it the same!”
“Geez thats a morbid way of looking at it! But I guess I agree, it will be SO different”, I paused for a moment to think, “I just think it was too much, people crowding wherever we went, obsessed crazy fans and signings, pretty much no going out in public…”
“Yeah, what happens if someone out on the streets recognises us? What would ya do??”
“I don’t know about you, but first thing tomorrow I’m getting these purple tips taken out of my hair, put some normal back into it! Maybe I’ll start dressing like I’m not eccentric….”
“Cyndii I cant believe you of all people are saying this!! You were always the one who was about being yourself and not caring what other people think, now your just full of it!”
That was the last thing I heard her say before she stormed out, before we stopped seeing each other and living our own lies. It was weird though, we had always been together, and every thing we did was with each other. But now the best time of our lives was over, we weren’t performers anymore; we’d have to settle with a mediocre job in whatever the internet found me. Because without a high school education I was screwed!
I walked over to the bedroom and flicked on the T.V, every channel I went past had something about my band!
Uprising new rock band shocked all last night, with a good bye speech that will be remembered for a lifetime!
First ever all female, hardcore rock band ruined the last concert of their two year world tour by suddenly announcing retirement to the music career. Gob smacked fans, who had come from all parts of the world to enjoy to show at Wembley Stadium, were outraged and shortly after the band had left the stage a riot began….
Hey guys, guess who were talking about today?? You guessed it!! The band that shocked millions by their leaving rock!!
Millions of copies of the bands latest album were sold today; and shortly after they had announced retirement. My guess is that the fans thought ahead and figured their stuff will no longer for available! But this all seems so much of a sudden, they seem like they were looking for a bit of a career boost with a public stunt like so….
“Stupid *****!!!” I threw the remote at the T.V, which turned it off…..oh oh…. No more rock star leeway!! Lucky I had booked the hotel room in my actual birth-name.
I walked off and dug in the closet, I didn’t know what I was looking for, everything I owned was Cyndii. Somewhere along the way my persona, who was a separate person, had crossed and intertwined in my life, making it almost impossible to go back to anything ‘normal’. To be honest I loved my life, maybe I was just going through a down stage, maybe this wasn’t even the best idea, to quit showbiz, we really should have talked it over more…