Rock Star Escape Part 2/?
( 1,482 Words + )
Rock Star Escape
Part 2/?
Depressed and wallowing in my sorrows I slept in past my check out time, the hotels gonna like that one, not to mention the broken T.V! Looking again for something to wear was impossible, I WAS Cyndii. I turned around and grabbed my iPhone to place it straight on the dock, where I played Pink Floyds Comfortably Numb as loud as I could, forgetting everything as I closed my eyes and lay on the carpeted floor. By the time it got to the solo, I was in a trance, nothing could bug me and everything was ok for that mere 6 minutes the song lasted. I got up slowly and started to pack, the song still ringing in my ears and myself still in a trance. I had gathered a lot of my things up when I realised my checkout time was nearly two hours ago. Seriously what are they gonna do? I mean really! The song finished with screaming and then I fell back into my delusional, depressed state. The screaming seemed like it was really going on in my head. The whole band could agree that the only thing stopping my depression acting up was the band and hanging out with my only close friends. But it was too late now, the band was long gone, broken up. Willow was gone, she hated me now and as for Cherry, well who knows where she went off to last night! Willow and I had always been so close, we told each other everything and made sure we told each other everything, of the hard times and whatever. The thought lingered in my mind until Metallica’s Master of Puppets rang through my dock. I jumped as the first sound of the guitar went through the speakers; I remembered that tone had always seemed threatening. Willow and I had always joked around at how funny it was, especially playing it unexpecantly in a dark room! It was one of our infinite inside jokes, they were the things that held us together, I hadn’t realized until now how much she impacted my life.
I really missed her…
I went over and turned the song down, I didn’t want it so loud, but still I needed a distraction. Right now the best thing to do is NOT turn on the T.V, NOT read any papers or magazines and certainly NOT listen to the public radio! Last night there were so many things about us lingering, I still don’t know how I will cope. How am I supposed to not look like Cyndii, its not like I had a wig to be her and its not like I was a different person, she was just a name created to save myself from the rock world, she was really just me with a different name. I’d miss her though, myself I mean. At a young age it could be told I was different from the rest of the little girls.
The solo of Master of Puppets came on and I wished I had what it took to stay famous and to not give up and chicken out like we did. It started out fine, but days turn to months, months to years and eventually your whole career is over. I had enough money to survive in loneliness, especially now that people were queuing to buy our records, posters, t-shirts and whatever they could find. Just like anyone did when their favourite band breaks up. We didn’t break up though, we just quit. Just quit.
During my troubled thoughts, Map of the Problematique by Muse came on, what a coincidence; my iPod shuffle was really working its magic today. The main word in my head today being, loneliness. Never had I gotten a decent boy friend or at least an animal to keep me company in my years of fame, never, leaving me in complete and utter loneliness.
Loneliness be over, when will this loneliness be over
Life, will flash before my eyes
so scattered and lost
“Amen brother, amen,” was my reply and pretty much the only thing I said that day, other than finally checking out of the Hotel and trying to explain about the T.V, I had to make up this story of how I had an accident and slipped and injured myself on it. They didn’t look too kindly at that… even though I thought it was pretty convincing!
Finally out of there, I gathered my things and decided against looking for Cherry. She was probably either looking to be alone and drinking still or she had already changed our of her ‘persona’ and was out starting a new life for herself. I already missed the band, already.
Interrupting my thought, my mobile rang, it was our band manager and long time friend, Emily.
“Hey Em,” I said in my depressed tone, her reply was, “Geez, Cyndii, you really don’t sound good! Oh and by the way, what was with your little stunt the other night?” Her tone started off relaxed and almost comforting, but it certainly didn’t end that way! “Em, we talked it over, it wasn’t really out of the blue like everyone thought it was, honestly!” There was silence on the other end of the phone for a while until she finally spoke, “I just hope you know what you were doing, and of course I want what’s best for you, it’s just… well I honestly don’t think it was the best thing for you guys. You were at the peak of your fame, why’d you quit?” I was angry now and in a quick moody burst I shouted at the telephone, “YEAH WELL, MAYBE YOU’RE RIGHT! MAYBE, BUT YOU’LL NEVER UNDERSTAND IT ANYWAY!” I hung up, it was her problem now.
I started walking over to pick up my car, a sweet little vintage mustang convertible, American. I chucked my luggage in the boot and a case in the back seat and I was ready to go. Just as I had turned the key to restart it I got a text message:
I’m sorry, its raw, I was out of line.. I rang 2 tell u
ur songs r off the charts!! U’ve sold more than ever,
that’s y I was weird about u quitting...l8r xx EM
I guess I had never truly realized in my selfishness that we had real fans, people who would fill up stadiums the size of Wembley, nights in a row, just to see us. We actually had people who needed our music, I wonder what it would do to them! Especially the teens, the ones who needed someone to look up to, when all I did was ruin the best night of their life by telling them we ‘resign’. I was driving now, on my way home, finally. My last speech ringing in my ears through the dead quiet of the car, not even I could listen to myself. Every few minutes or so having to reject calls from friends and family, they too were probably wondering why I threw it all away, along with myself…
I tried to put myself back when I was a teen, a poor, misunderstood and roughly depressed teen. My favourite band being Muse, which it still is really, but I loved them differently back then. I was 14, the promise that they were coming to Australia was amazing and when I finally asked my mum whether I could go, when she said yes, my world was turned upside down. I’m sure so many people could relate. I was going to my first concert with just the girls, Willow, Cherry and Em, no parents around. Thinking back, if they had decided that night that they were quitting the music industry, I would have died right then and there. Which is why it is so hard for me now to come to terms with myself.
Several hours of driving later, it was getting dark. The sun had finally said good bye to leave for another part of the world and it was just me on a highway in the middle of England, homebound. I so badly wanted to stop at one of the hotels or motels skittered around but someone was bound to recognise me and it being only a few days after the ‘incident’ I felt it was much too fresh…
But what would happen if I was recognised, what would people really do? I pulled off into the next town and finally spotting a decent hotel I drove into it, deciding I would stay there the night.
As soon as I walked into the lobby, it was like my worst nightmare. Faces glaring, teenagers snarling, what had I done!
“Hey ain’t you Cyndii from that band!” An American accent called out, I locked eyes with him, taking his breath away.
Rock Star Escape
Part 2/?
Depressed and wallowing in my sorrows I slept in past my check out time, the hotels gonna like that one, not to mention the broken T.V! Looking again for something to wear was impossible, I WAS Cyndii. I turned around and grabbed my iPhone to place it straight on the dock, where I played Pink Floyds Comfortably Numb as loud as I could, forgetting everything as I closed my eyes and lay on the carpeted floor. By the time it got to the solo, I was in a trance, nothing could bug me and everything was ok for that mere 6 minutes the song lasted. I got up slowly and started to pack, the song still ringing in my ears and myself still in a trance. I had gathered a lot of my things up when I realised my checkout time was nearly two hours ago. Seriously what are they gonna do? I mean really! The song finished with screaming and then I fell back into my delusional, depressed state. The screaming seemed like it was really going on in my head. The whole band could agree that the only thing stopping my depression acting up was the band and hanging out with my only close friends. But it was too late now, the band was long gone, broken up. Willow was gone, she hated me now and as for Cherry, well who knows where she went off to last night! Willow and I had always been so close, we told each other everything and made sure we told each other everything, of the hard times and whatever. The thought lingered in my mind until Metallica’s Master of Puppets rang through my dock. I jumped as the first sound of the guitar went through the speakers; I remembered that tone had always seemed threatening. Willow and I had always joked around at how funny it was, especially playing it unexpecantly in a dark room! It was one of our infinite inside jokes, they were the things that held us together, I hadn’t realized until now how much she impacted my life.
I really missed her…
I went over and turned the song down, I didn’t want it so loud, but still I needed a distraction. Right now the best thing to do is NOT turn on the T.V, NOT read any papers or magazines and certainly NOT listen to the public radio! Last night there were so many things about us lingering, I still don’t know how I will cope. How am I supposed to not look like Cyndii, its not like I had a wig to be her and its not like I was a different person, she was just a name created to save myself from the rock world, she was really just me with a different name. I’d miss her though, myself I mean. At a young age it could be told I was different from the rest of the little girls.
The solo of Master of Puppets came on and I wished I had what it took to stay famous and to not give up and chicken out like we did. It started out fine, but days turn to months, months to years and eventually your whole career is over. I had enough money to survive in loneliness, especially now that people were queuing to buy our records, posters, t-shirts and whatever they could find. Just like anyone did when their favourite band breaks up. We didn’t break up though, we just quit. Just quit.
During my troubled thoughts, Map of the Problematique by Muse came on, what a coincidence; my iPod shuffle was really working its magic today. The main word in my head today being, loneliness. Never had I gotten a decent boy friend or at least an animal to keep me company in my years of fame, never, leaving me in complete and utter loneliness.
Loneliness be over, when will this loneliness be over
Life, will flash before my eyes
so scattered and lost
“Amen brother, amen,” was my reply and pretty much the only thing I said that day, other than finally checking out of the Hotel and trying to explain about the T.V, I had to make up this story of how I had an accident and slipped and injured myself on it. They didn’t look too kindly at that… even though I thought it was pretty convincing!
Finally out of there, I gathered my things and decided against looking for Cherry. She was probably either looking to be alone and drinking still or she had already changed our of her ‘persona’ and was out starting a new life for herself. I already missed the band, already.
Interrupting my thought, my mobile rang, it was our band manager and long time friend, Emily.
“Hey Em,” I said in my depressed tone, her reply was, “Geez, Cyndii, you really don’t sound good! Oh and by the way, what was with your little stunt the other night?” Her tone started off relaxed and almost comforting, but it certainly didn’t end that way! “Em, we talked it over, it wasn’t really out of the blue like everyone thought it was, honestly!” There was silence on the other end of the phone for a while until she finally spoke, “I just hope you know what you were doing, and of course I want what’s best for you, it’s just… well I honestly don’t think it was the best thing for you guys. You were at the peak of your fame, why’d you quit?” I was angry now and in a quick moody burst I shouted at the telephone, “YEAH WELL, MAYBE YOU’RE RIGHT! MAYBE, BUT YOU’LL NEVER UNDERSTAND IT ANYWAY!” I hung up, it was her problem now.
I started walking over to pick up my car, a sweet little vintage mustang convertible, American. I chucked my luggage in the boot and a case in the back seat and I was ready to go. Just as I had turned the key to restart it I got a text message:
I’m sorry, its raw, I was out of line.. I rang 2 tell u
ur songs r off the charts!! U’ve sold more than ever,
that’s y I was weird about u quitting...l8r xx EM
I guess I had never truly realized in my selfishness that we had real fans, people who would fill up stadiums the size of Wembley, nights in a row, just to see us. We actually had people who needed our music, I wonder what it would do to them! Especially the teens, the ones who needed someone to look up to, when all I did was ruin the best night of their life by telling them we ‘resign’. I was driving now, on my way home, finally. My last speech ringing in my ears through the dead quiet of the car, not even I could listen to myself. Every few minutes or so having to reject calls from friends and family, they too were probably wondering why I threw it all away, along with myself…
I tried to put myself back when I was a teen, a poor, misunderstood and roughly depressed teen. My favourite band being Muse, which it still is really, but I loved them differently back then. I was 14, the promise that they were coming to Australia was amazing and when I finally asked my mum whether I could go, when she said yes, my world was turned upside down. I’m sure so many people could relate. I was going to my first concert with just the girls, Willow, Cherry and Em, no parents around. Thinking back, if they had decided that night that they were quitting the music industry, I would have died right then and there. Which is why it is so hard for me now to come to terms with myself.
Several hours of driving later, it was getting dark. The sun had finally said good bye to leave for another part of the world and it was just me on a highway in the middle of England, homebound. I so badly wanted to stop at one of the hotels or motels skittered around but someone was bound to recognise me and it being only a few days after the ‘incident’ I felt it was much too fresh…
But what would happen if I was recognised, what would people really do? I pulled off into the next town and finally spotting a decent hotel I drove into it, deciding I would stay there the night.
As soon as I walked into the lobby, it was like my worst nightmare. Faces glaring, teenagers snarling, what had I done!
“Hey ain’t you Cyndii from that band!” An American accent called out, I locked eyes with him, taking his breath away.