Why is this bothering me?
So Kayleigh informs me right when we first start dating that she and an old high school friend slept together, just so happened they were going to he in the same town. At the same time, now bear in mind this was about a week before her and I even started talking, but anyways, they slept together, not once but twice, apparently they bothe had crushes on eachother in high school, and didn't know it, and upon admitting it to eachother they had sex, I know it has nothing to do with our relationship now, I know even then she had no feelings for him, it was just an impulse thing, that given the same circumstances, I probbably would have done myself. They're still friends now, and I have no problem with that, but for some reason it bothers me, I know Kayleigh would never cheat on me, and I wouldn't cheat either. But somehow her still talking to this guy, makes those feelings come back, I don't get it, we love eachother, we want to get married, she tells me everything, including that they had a conversation about what happened between them, which she said I could read, but at the time I dodn't think I had an interest, but it was always on my mind, so this morning just to read it, I found it on her phone and began reading, she walked in and I instantly felt guilty for not telling her what I was doing, it's tough to read that she enjoyed sex with another guy, even if it was before us, it makes me feel bad about myself, which is exactly how I felt after being cheated on, and while I know she didn't, those feelings of self hate and worthlessness are still there, and I wish they would go away, I have to get over this, for our future, she's the best thing to happen to me, and I don't want to lose her because of my hang ups.