Hmmm .. it's been a while.
Hey Hey.
Wow, its 2005. My Christmas was alright. On the last day of exams I went to the hospital .. I was in there till Christmas Eve and then for 4 days I was on pain killers and different medicines and I slept for a majority of the day. I slept so much that I couldnt tell the difference between being asleep and being awake. Then, on Tuesday I got outpatient surgery but it wasnt really surgery because they didn't cut me open. Thank God. Then I slowly got better. On New Years Eve we had a barbeque thing and Jaque came over and we just hung out, I couldnt drink anything because I was on meds. Then the next day I saw Meet The Fockers and went to Chilli's for dinner. Then ever since then me and Sasha have just been chillin'.
I really miss Brendan and this is pathetic. We've been over with for over 2 months now. But I really miss what I had with him .. Yeah I miss him because of the fact I cared about him and he meant alot and I really liked him but .. I loved how we could talk about everything and anything. Late night convo's .. Telling eachother what we liked about eachother .. Telling eachother we missed eachother. I remember one day he signed into my livejournal and wrote me a journal entry under private, it was short but very sweet. I felt like I found my match someone I could really trust and care for.. but I guess I thought wrong. I need to get over him because it's becoming unhealthy and I am starting to compare the guys I like to him .. Saying why cant he be like Brendan ? I just wish there was some closure to our friendship but whatever. Then there's Ian. God, do I want to really get to know him or what ? I think about him alot and I really have a thing for him but I am afraid that I am gonna get attached to him and things arent going to work out and it will be a Brendan Episode 2 and thats the last thing I would want to happen. I guess I need to take a deep breathe think about a few things and go from there and not analyze everything and just let nature take its course..
Every New Year you take a look back at the year before and wow 2004 flew right by. It was a pretty good year for me from March on .. I learned alot of things in the past year and met alot of people I am thankful thank I met and Sasha is one of them. I dont know what I would do without Sasha. We have fun together and serious talks .. We are there for eachother and not many people have someone like Sasha. So I feel very lucky. During the holidays most girls spend time with their boyfriend's or whatnot .. But me and Sasha spend time together and its awesome. I really miss the fact that I havent had someone ( a guy ) in a while. I dont want to be desperate and look for a guy because I know that the wait may be the hard part but in the end I'll have something good. Oh, so this person comments me and tells me I used to be cool and I am different now.. I dont know who it is and I frankly think its quite stupid that they cant even step up and address the issue with me. They act like I am gonna get mad and blow up. I guess they dont really know me, or maybe they do .. and thats the scary part. I dont know what else to write without getting too depressed or sad or excited .. I guess I just need to step back, chill out, and let things be the way they are because sometimes I try to make things what they arent. With that .. I think I am going to get going ... It's getting late and I am thinking too much.
Much Love,
<333 Tiff
Wow, its 2005. My Christmas was alright. On the last day of exams I went to the hospital .. I was in there till Christmas Eve and then for 4 days I was on pain killers and different medicines and I slept for a majority of the day. I slept so much that I couldnt tell the difference between being asleep and being awake. Then, on Tuesday I got outpatient surgery but it wasnt really surgery because they didn't cut me open. Thank God. Then I slowly got better. On New Years Eve we had a barbeque thing and Jaque came over and we just hung out, I couldnt drink anything because I was on meds. Then the next day I saw Meet The Fockers and went to Chilli's for dinner. Then ever since then me and Sasha have just been chillin'.
I really miss Brendan and this is pathetic. We've been over with for over 2 months now. But I really miss what I had with him .. Yeah I miss him because of the fact I cared about him and he meant alot and I really liked him but .. I loved how we could talk about everything and anything. Late night convo's .. Telling eachother what we liked about eachother .. Telling eachother we missed eachother. I remember one day he signed into my livejournal and wrote me a journal entry under private, it was short but very sweet. I felt like I found my match someone I could really trust and care for.. but I guess I thought wrong. I need to get over him because it's becoming unhealthy and I am starting to compare the guys I like to him .. Saying why cant he be like Brendan ? I just wish there was some closure to our friendship but whatever. Then there's Ian. God, do I want to really get to know him or what ? I think about him alot and I really have a thing for him but I am afraid that I am gonna get attached to him and things arent going to work out and it will be a Brendan Episode 2 and thats the last thing I would want to happen. I guess I need to take a deep breathe think about a few things and go from there and not analyze everything and just let nature take its course..
Every New Year you take a look back at the year before and wow 2004 flew right by. It was a pretty good year for me from March on .. I learned alot of things in the past year and met alot of people I am thankful thank I met and Sasha is one of them. I dont know what I would do without Sasha. We have fun together and serious talks .. We are there for eachother and not many people have someone like Sasha. So I feel very lucky. During the holidays most girls spend time with their boyfriend's or whatnot .. But me and Sasha spend time together and its awesome. I really miss the fact that I havent had someone ( a guy ) in a while. I dont want to be desperate and look for a guy because I know that the wait may be the hard part but in the end I'll have something good. Oh, so this person comments me and tells me I used to be cool and I am different now.. I dont know who it is and I frankly think its quite stupid that they cant even step up and address the issue with me. They act like I am gonna get mad and blow up. I guess they dont really know me, or maybe they do .. and thats the scary part. I dont know what else to write without getting too depressed or sad or excited .. I guess I just need to step back, chill out, and let things be the way they are because sometimes I try to make things what they arent. With that .. I think I am going to get going ... It's getting late and I am thinking too much.
Much Love,
<333 Tiff