(no subject)
yeah.. its 4:30 in the morning and I am still awake. I have been reading old lj posts for like 4 hours. Mine and HIS.. and his as well.. :( Its so depressing, but i just cant stop. It makes me feel so good to read about how unbelievably happy i was from january of 2003 through august of 2004! My life was perfect. I was so in love and so content. Reading his posts... well it made me very very happy... almost brought me back to those moments.. then just ended up making me want to curl up in a ball and stop breathing! Then i eventually got to the point where the relationship started to crumble... and i remembered why i did what i did. I just wish I could go back to the happy moments.
...Then I read Bryen's.. back when i knew that he would always be there and always love me.. well that was quite depressing as well.. gar.. why do i do this to myself? As much as I love reliving those happy moments.. it is the most painful thing in the world...
k.. time to go to bed and dream about the good ol' days...
...Then I read Bryen's.. back when i knew that he would always be there and always love me.. well that was quite depressing as well.. gar.. why do i do this to myself? As much as I love reliving those happy moments.. it is the most painful thing in the world...
k.. time to go to bed and dream about the good ol' days...