stupid life
scott asked me today if i really wanted to bring children into this world. i think that the world has never been a safe or altogether good place since humans got their hands on it, so why not now if it was good enough for me to come onto the scene 22 years ago. and i feel like i need to counteract all the stupid people having children by bringing up 2 or 3 informed, tolerant, grounded people to make the world a better place. i just hope i can do it.
i'm graduating, i feel like my life is ending. i'm in an abyss of uncertainty. no ground, in other words. i have no money, no way of making money, and lots of debt. thank god for my daddy, he takes care of me at times like these, but i hate asking for it. or rather, i wish i didn't have to. because asking doesn't really bother me, i mean, he's never grudging when i need money, and he doesn't make me feel bad about it, but i'm just afraid he doesn't have it. which more often than not is probably true and he doesn't tell me. well, once i get a second job hopefully i will be able to get myself back on top for a couple years. god help me. then it's time to move back to italy, because the emptiness in my stomach is in the shape of a rough looking boot, i think.
unrelated note - i love luis. and i love roger. if i could make people feel better with just a look or a word, i would use that power indiscriminately with them. well, with everybody else, too, as long as it was unlimited, but especially with them. because they are constantly looking out for me, and i wish i could give that back, but i'm just not as good at it as they are.
if i had a super power (besides manipulating time..that was a good one milla) i think it would be telepathy. but selective...like i could know what people were thinking when i wanted to. but maybe not, that seems like it could get out of hand easily...still it would help in some situations.
also an unrelated note - i have had a headache for 5 days. damn that blows.
i'm graduating, i feel like my life is ending. i'm in an abyss of uncertainty. no ground, in other words. i have no money, no way of making money, and lots of debt. thank god for my daddy, he takes care of me at times like these, but i hate asking for it. or rather, i wish i didn't have to. because asking doesn't really bother me, i mean, he's never grudging when i need money, and he doesn't make me feel bad about it, but i'm just afraid he doesn't have it. which more often than not is probably true and he doesn't tell me. well, once i get a second job hopefully i will be able to get myself back on top for a couple years. god help me. then it's time to move back to italy, because the emptiness in my stomach is in the shape of a rough looking boot, i think.
unrelated note - i love luis. and i love roger. if i could make people feel better with just a look or a word, i would use that power indiscriminately with them. well, with everybody else, too, as long as it was unlimited, but especially with them. because they are constantly looking out for me, and i wish i could give that back, but i'm just not as good at it as they are.
if i had a super power (besides manipulating time..that was a good one milla) i think it would be telepathy. but selective...like i could know what people were thinking when i wanted to. but maybe not, that seems like it could get out of hand easily...still it would help in some situations.
also an unrelated note - i have had a headache for 5 days. damn that blows.