In Want of a Wife [part 13]
Chapter Thirteen: "Assumptions are the termites of relationships." Henry Winkler
-&-&-
Berwald stared. He stared. His jaw twitched painfully and his eyes went blurry from staring at the note for so long because he was terrified that he was going to blink and it would just be a dream. He finally closed his eyes, for the briefest of moments, and then they shot back open. The note from Tino was still there. Because Tino… TINO thought he was cute!
Berwald scooped up the Moomin plushie and held it fiercely, pressing the troll's squishy face into his chest. Because Tino thought he was cute! Tino did!
He could hardly believe it. Maybe it was all just a dream. A very cruel dream.
Berwald pinched himself. He didn't wake up, so it must be real.
Then Berwald couldn't decide what to do. He stood in the hallway, dorm room door wide open and just a loose pair of drawstrings pants around his waist. No socks or slippers or a shirt (Italy was very hot in the summer) and Berwald did not give a shit if he looked like a lovesick fool because he was a lovesick fool.
Berwald glanced down at the Moomin plushie in his arms and immediately came to terms with the fact that his grandfather's carving tools were now his second most precious possession because what this ridiculous squishy toy meant to him could not be expressed in words. Berwald squeezed it one more time for good measure and sighed wistfully.
He then decided he was crossing the line between lovesick fool and complete idiot, and decided to be a good roommate and shut the damn door before taking his glasses off and going back to sleep.
Berwald hadn't slept with a squishy toy in years, but he made a special exception.
-&-&-
Berwald woke up refreshed. He yawned, shifting his limbs quietly and knocking his Moomin off the bed.
Berwald leaned over the side of his bed and peered down, squinting his eyes to focus on the troll on the floor. He realized he couldn't keep calling his Moomin "Moomin," because this was a special Moomin troll from Tino. It needed a special from-Tino kind of troll name.
Ragnvald, obviously.
So Berwald picked up Ragnvald and set the soft Moomin on the end of his bed. He quietly tucked his sheets and comforter back where they were meant to be, and brushed out any rumples. Then he settled Ragnvald on the top of his pillow. Happy with this seating arrangement, Berwald proceeded with his Saturday as usual.
He happily took his shower and then met up with Arthur for breakfast. Arthur bitched and complained about something or another; Berwald wasn't really paying attention.
He had to admit it was one of the best things about being relatively quiet: no one knew if he was paying attention or not. He'd just "mm" in response every so often, and even if he had no idea what was going on it was an acceptable response.
Berwald broke his own rules for Tino because "mm"-ing was not going to convince Tino to be his wife. And convincing Tino to be his wife was much more important than just about anything he could think of, really. It was his top priority.
So while Arthur was whining (probably about Francis, Berwald decided, or the "damn American") Berwald let his mind wander to more important things.
More specifically his list. Now that he and Tino were dating, several new numerically-ordered tasks were available for him to complete. It was almost like a video game-as he got closer and closer to Tino, new challenges were unlocked and he could complete them to get new challenges and eventually he'd win because Tino would marry him.
Berwald blinked, and looked down at himself. They were dating, yes, but could he already complete number thirteen? Berwald didn't know because he still wasn't exactly sure about Tino's preferences about apparel.
But Tino shared a room with Feliks. Feliks might know? But it was only around eight forty-five in the morning. Berwald did not wish to awaken Feliks at such an early hour.
Berwald took a sip of his coffee and "mm"-ed, convincing Arthur to continue his virulent diatribe. So what else would be possible to accomplish, if it was still too early for thirteen?
Fourteen was right out. Berwald wasn't completely stupid-it was still too early for that kind of intimacy. But sixteen. Berwald paused and considered it.
Technically, sixteen's picnic referred to a lunch, or at least maybe a dinner. However, the type of meal was not specifically stated, and therefore a picnic breakfast was not entirely out of the picture. Berwald could make it happen.
He mused for a moment, trying to think of the best place for a picnic. Probably somewhere on the outskirts of the city-somewhere with beautiful vegetation and with lovely flowers and that sort of thing. Something sort of romantic. Probably not an area with a religious affiliation, as picnicking in a holy spot was probably frowned upon.
But Berwald could recall a small spot he'd heard about. Sixteen it was.
He sighed, taking the last gulp of his coffee and nodding politely at Arthur in farewell.
Arthur replied in his normal manner-waving and chatting about something or another.
-&-&-
It was another trip to the market. Berwald arrived at about nine-fifteen, and the place was bustling with Italians.
Berwald felt a little out of place, what with his towering height and Scandinavian coloring. He didn't let that stop him, of course, because he had to create a perfect picnic breakfast for Tino.
What do Finns like for breakfast? Berwald thought as he took a quick walk-through of the market, noting the cheapest fruit stands and bakeries.
Berwald decided to settle on fruit, bread, and jam. These were the things that were the most appealing, and if Tino didn't like them Berwald would just buy him licorice. Okay, more licorice, because Berwald had already bought some for dessert.
Berwald bought strawberries, blackberries, raspberries, blueberries, and grapes. He also bought a fresh loaf of bread and blackberry and raspberry jam.
And he got a picnic basket from one of the stands outside the market, too, just to give everything a seal of authenticity.
He carried his purchases back to his dorm, and then entered the small kitchen area on the first floor to rinse and prepare his fruit and make everything presentable.
[Sent: Sat 22 Aug 10:00 AM]
Let me know when you're awake. I've got breakfast.
[Received: Sat 22 Aug 10:03 AM]
My pone wasonshhh
[Sent: Sat 22 Aug 10:15 AM]
What.
[Received: Sat 22 Aug 10:17 AM]
Shhhh im sleepin fone maks noiaes
[Sent: Sat 22 Aug 10:20 AM]
What.
[Received: Sat 22 Aug 10:23 AM]
Stopsmssingame
[Sent: Sat 22 Aug 10:25 AM]
What.
[Received: Sat 22 Aug 10:31 AM]
shutuasdasdaaslkdjappppp
[Sent: Sat 22 Aug 10:33 AM]
I don't understand.
[Received: Sat 22 Aug 10:37 AM]
fuck it. Wats 4 brakfast?
[Sent: Sat 22 Aug 10:40 AM]
A picnic.
[Received: Sat 22 Aug 10:41 AM]
k gimme a few mins
[Sent: Sat 22 Aug 10:44 AM]
Are we at the point in our relationship where I can use pet names?
[Received: Sat 22 Aug 10:46 AM]
Are we at the point in our relationship where I can skip a shower this morning?
[Sent: Sat 22 Aug 10:48 AM]
Yes?
[Received: Sat 22 Aug 10:50 AM]
NO.
[Sent: Sat 22 Aug 10:51 AM]
But you don't have to take a shower. I'm sure you look cute and smell good anyway.
[Received: Sat 22 Aug 11:07 AM]
That's beside the point because I've already taken a shower. So the answer is still NO.
[Sent: Sat 22 Aug 11:10 AM]
Thanks for Ragnvald by the way. He is very cute.
[Received: Sat 22 Aug 11:12 AM]
WTF Ber giime 2 mins and u can xplan
[Sent: Sat 22 Aug 11:14 AM]
I am partial to the pet name "baby."
[Received: Sat 22 Aug 11:14 AM]
Don't go there.
[Sent: Sat 22 Aug 11:14 AM]
"Sweetheart"?
[Received: Sat 22 Aug 11:15 AM]
Knock it off.
[Sent: Sat 22 Aug 11:15 AM]
"Sugar pie honey bunch"?
[Received: Sat 22 Aug 11:15 AM]
You want me to come to breakfast or what?
[Sent: Sat 22 Aug 11:16 AM]
I want you to come.
[Received: Sat 22 Aug 11:16 AM]
DID YOU MAKE THAT DIRTY ON PURPOSE?
[Sent: Sat 22 Aug 11:17 AM]
You make me dirty on purpose.
[Received: Sat 22 Aug 11:17 AM]
I'm only walking down to your room for the food. That's the only reason. For the free food.
[Sent: Sat 22 Aug 11:17 AM]
Whatever you say, baby.
-&-&-
Berwald propped his door open, a notable expression of happiness on his face.
Toris eyed his roommate curiously, peeking over the top of his laptop to watch Berwald's eager movements around his picnic basket whenever he wasn't paused to vigorously text message someone Toris assumed to be Tino.
"Your date went well?"
"Hm? Oh." Berwald looked away from his phone to meet Toris' curious expression. Berwald couldn't contain his glimmer of happiness. "We're dating."
"Um, yeah?" Toris replied.
"Tino is my boyfriend now." Berwald elaborated proudly.
Toris gaped. "No way."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes!" Berwald exclaimed. Toris couldn't help but chuckle at his roommate's enthusiasm. Berwald returned his attention to his buzzing phone.
"What are you going to do this morning?" Toris pried, undeniably curious about Berwald's unbelievable success story.
"A picnic." Berwald explained.
"A picnic for breakfast?"
"Yes." Berwald finished his message, another slight grin on his face as he pocketed his phone.
"Well, damn." Toris said. "You move fast."
Berwald frowned. "It's only been a week. He still hasn't agreed to marry me."
"Don't worry about it, Berwald." Tino assured him as he leaned against the doorframe. "You ready?"
"To get married?"
"Not right now, no. I meant for breakfast." Tino's stomach growled and the shorter blonde blushed.
Berwald reached into his basket and handed Tino a piece of bread. He took Tino's free hand in one of his own and the picnic basket in the other.
Berwald nodded a polite farewell to Toris as Tino checked his phone.
Toris watched with amusement as Tino elbowed Berwald in the solar plexus.
"I'm not your damn baby!"
"Mm." Berwald eyed his boyfriend with obvious affection as he gently tugged him out of the room.
Toris smiled, and then sent a fleeting glance to his own phone. He hadn't forgotten about Feliks.
That was an understatement. Toris sighed, running his hands through his hair. He hadn't slept very well the night before because what the hell was Feliks doing?
Toris had seen him drink at the party. Well, at least maybe. Toris still didn't remember too much about that evening.
It wasn't fair for Toris to judge Feliks' behavior based on just one call, but it was hard not too. Just because Feliks was out partying without him didn't mean they weren't friends. It was just…
They finally went to the same school. Phone calls and Skype appointments were no longer their primary form of communication. Toris could vividly remember how excited they both were! To see each other every day rather than twice a year had seemed like a godsend.
But Toris hadn't seen Feliks every day. They were in different classes and Toris hated to say it but Feliks' major was not really that difficult-fashion design? Sure, it suited Feliks, but it wasn't like Feliks was writing tons of papers and reading tons of books like Toris was for his English degree. Not that English was the most difficult thing, but fashion design?
Feliks was like that though. Sometimes he made decisions that Toris thought were ridiculously stupid. His behavior could just be so outrageous sometimes, and this was before Toris could actually see them for himself. Feliks typically told Toris his adventures, and Toris could easily draw his own conclusions from there.
Toris had assumed they'd hang out every day. Toris had assumed that their friendship would blossom and that Feliks would be so excited to have him in person that he'd, you know, constantly be bugging the shit out of him. Toris had actually thought that he'd have to come up with a way to get Feliks to leave him alone so he could make other friends.
And none of that had been true.
And here Toris was, nerdy Toris, sitting alone by himself in the morning after not going out the second Friday of his college life because he'd been waiting for Feliks to call because he was such an idiot.
Feliks shouldn't have to call. Toris should be going out, doing things. Enjoying his time. He didn't need to cater to Feliks' every demand, either.
But Toris' idea of a good time did not consist of getting completely shitfaced and flirting with five men at once! Feliks had been drunk. Toris didn't know why Feliks felt he had to get drunk to have a good time. It was stupid, self-destructive behavior! Not that drinking itself was bad, but the binge drinking partying that Feliks was already most likely involved in…! It just pissed Toris off. It really did.
And to see Berwald get Tino was just icing on his pissy cake. Because really, Berwald was a complete oddball and yet he manages to snatch up a cute boy? Not that Toris was jealous. Not ofTino. Because Tino was a boy and Toris didn't like boys. No he didn't. It was just the ease of their relationship-the light teasing and Berwald's damn happiness that Toris envied.
Toris didn't want to date Feliks, but he couldn't help but compare his relationship with Feliks to Berwald and Tino. Berwald and Tino were ridiculously awkward, but kind of endearingly sweet at the same time. Toris didn't know-he wanted that kind of thing. Not with Feliks. But with someone. And he expected Feliks' friendship to have been more worthwhile than… why hadn't Feliks called? He had just stopped calling and if Feliks didn't want to hang out with him, fine!
Toris wouldn't worry himself over someone else's stupid behavior.
Toris was judging Feliks. He was. Definitely. Feliks had been out drinking and had obviously been with men and if that kind of slutty behavior was what Feliks enjoyed, Toris wanted no damn part in it.