i don't know what to say...
today was a really good day and a really bad day all for the same reasons. jonathan.
my ex. pretty much the only man i have loved and has loved me back.
the only man i trust in my life. the only man who really knows me.
we had lunch today. later we had dinner because he insisted on buying pants
and me being there, since he loves my taste in clothing...i don't know why.
i love this man and he told me the worst news.
that he has cancer.
not just cancer brain cancer.
he doesn't know if he is in a stage two or three
but both are bad.
its just after the last time we hung out i realize how much
he had meant to me as a boyfriend, and now as a close friend.
he is the most amazing person and so smart and witty and i
don't understand how this happend. he isn't even 27.
im so scared its going to be too big or they wont be able to treat him
and he will die and i will never get to talk to him again.
i couldn't help but i was also be really really pissed at him, beacause
he never goes to doctors, infact they only found this as an accident
of him working on a CT scanner. he always gets headaches even when we
were dating about 4 and a half years ago. i told him to go to the doctors
and he didn't.
i felt mad at him. now i just don't know what to do.
or what to say. he got mad at me for asking too many questions. i understand
though, im sure he is just scared and doesn't realize it yet.
FUCK!!!
how did this happen?
god damn it.
my ex. pretty much the only man i have loved and has loved me back.
the only man i trust in my life. the only man who really knows me.
we had lunch today. later we had dinner because he insisted on buying pants
and me being there, since he loves my taste in clothing...i don't know why.
i love this man and he told me the worst news.
that he has cancer.
not just cancer brain cancer.
he doesn't know if he is in a stage two or three
but both are bad.
its just after the last time we hung out i realize how much
he had meant to me as a boyfriend, and now as a close friend.
he is the most amazing person and so smart and witty and i
don't understand how this happend. he isn't even 27.
im so scared its going to be too big or they wont be able to treat him
and he will die and i will never get to talk to him again.
i couldn't help but i was also be really really pissed at him, beacause
he never goes to doctors, infact they only found this as an accident
of him working on a CT scanner. he always gets headaches even when we
were dating about 4 and a half years ago. i told him to go to the doctors
and he didn't.
i felt mad at him. now i just don't know what to do.
or what to say. he got mad at me for asking too many questions. i understand
though, im sure he is just scared and doesn't realize it yet.
FUCK!!!
how did this happen?
god damn it.