hell must have frozen over. . .
yup im udating livejournal
call it procrastination
call it a need for a rant
call it whatever.
so its a new year, and i feel like everyone thinks things are supposed to be different somehow or they are supposed to change just because its a new year. why do we always wait until something ends and something else starts to change or to start living better or to start meeting some ideal we feel we have to meet. . .i jsut dont get it
like oh when i graduate. . .things will change. . .when i start college things will change. . .oh i'll be different next semester. . what ever it is we wait we drag on doing whatever clearly isn't making us happy until an end/begining. . .and THEN. . .then when we dont change or things dont go the way we want them to. . .we give up. . .its ridiculous. . .its a cycle everyone does. . .im not going to do it anymore
i kept thinking before the new years oh next semester im gonna do this this and that. . .but why. . .was i not happy this semester. . .dont somethings just work out the way they do because they are meant to work out that way. . .and we can't change it. . .how will changing ourselves and our future change the events that spurred us to feel this way. . .they wont they'll jsut ring on new things that will make us want to change again, so it all comes down to just being ourselves yet again
if we're ourselves from the begining we have nothing to change or do to becuase our friends will be who they are mean to be, we will get the job we are supposed to, we will have the money we are meant to have, the looks we were bron to have, the boyfriends that are right for us when they are right for us, and the grades that we ultimately deserve
example. . .you decide to become a stellar student. . .so for one semester you get AMAZING grades. . .and then you realize your just not happy becuase you have no life. . .so you start to develpe a life and then BAM your grades go down. . .that can mess up your transcripts cause it looks like to stopped caring. . .where as if you just had your life and didn't care about just ebing a good student and just did what made you happy. . .you would have had your grades learned what you needed to learn and not had the nervous break down you probably had
example two. . .you have a bad experience with a guy. . .you decide that your just going to have fun and not get in a relationship and be in college. . .in the process you end up hurting or screwing over a guy that could have been good for you. . .but you didn't ee that becuase you let your past affect you to much and you missed out on something great. . .inevitably making you feel alone. . .which defeated the purpose of ebing miss social in the first place
example three. . .new years comes along and your sick of the way you look. . .you dye your hair. . .go tanning. . .go to the gym. . do whatever to change your appearance. . .becuase you thought that would make life better. .. now you have to spend all your time keeping up appearances and not being who you really are. . .so maybe you might get mroe attention but you know its not attention for you. . .its attention for this person you made up. . .and now you can't wait till summer or the next new years to go back to how you were. . .but wait. . .will your friends still like you?
new years is just another day and another night. . .nothing different. . .except the dte you write. . .everything from last year is still real and still happened and to write it off or to try to change it wont help. . itll just further your angst and confusion
so in the end just keep being you, who cares if you care too much, party too hard, stress out, gained the freshman 15, were hurt, lost some friends, lost a job, made a fool of yourself. . .it was all meant to happen and it happened for a reason and itll get you somewhere at somepoint. . .and as much anxiety and aggravation as ou will have not understanding the things that happen that will get you to that point . .just live through em. . .cause getting there is half the fun right?
you know you missed my rants
<33
call it procrastination
call it a need for a rant
call it whatever.
so its a new year, and i feel like everyone thinks things are supposed to be different somehow or they are supposed to change just because its a new year. why do we always wait until something ends and something else starts to change or to start living better or to start meeting some ideal we feel we have to meet. . .i jsut dont get it
like oh when i graduate. . .things will change. . .when i start college things will change. . .oh i'll be different next semester. . what ever it is we wait we drag on doing whatever clearly isn't making us happy until an end/begining. . .and THEN. . .then when we dont change or things dont go the way we want them to. . .we give up. . .its ridiculous. . .its a cycle everyone does. . .im not going to do it anymore
i kept thinking before the new years oh next semester im gonna do this this and that. . .but why. . .was i not happy this semester. . .dont somethings just work out the way they do because they are meant to work out that way. . .and we can't change it. . .how will changing ourselves and our future change the events that spurred us to feel this way. . .they wont they'll jsut ring on new things that will make us want to change again, so it all comes down to just being ourselves yet again
if we're ourselves from the begining we have nothing to change or do to becuase our friends will be who they are mean to be, we will get the job we are supposed to, we will have the money we are meant to have, the looks we were bron to have, the boyfriends that are right for us when they are right for us, and the grades that we ultimately deserve
example. . .you decide to become a stellar student. . .so for one semester you get AMAZING grades. . .and then you realize your just not happy becuase you have no life. . .so you start to develpe a life and then BAM your grades go down. . .that can mess up your transcripts cause it looks like to stopped caring. . .where as if you just had your life and didn't care about just ebing a good student and just did what made you happy. . .you would have had your grades learned what you needed to learn and not had the nervous break down you probably had
example two. . .you have a bad experience with a guy. . .you decide that your just going to have fun and not get in a relationship and be in college. . .in the process you end up hurting or screwing over a guy that could have been good for you. . .but you didn't ee that becuase you let your past affect you to much and you missed out on something great. . .inevitably making you feel alone. . .which defeated the purpose of ebing miss social in the first place
example three. . .new years comes along and your sick of the way you look. . .you dye your hair. . .go tanning. . .go to the gym. . do whatever to change your appearance. . .becuase you thought that would make life better. .. now you have to spend all your time keeping up appearances and not being who you really are. . .so maybe you might get mroe attention but you know its not attention for you. . .its attention for this person you made up. . .and now you can't wait till summer or the next new years to go back to how you were. . .but wait. . .will your friends still like you?
new years is just another day and another night. . .nothing different. . .except the dte you write. . .everything from last year is still real and still happened and to write it off or to try to change it wont help. . itll just further your angst and confusion
so in the end just keep being you, who cares if you care too much, party too hard, stress out, gained the freshman 15, were hurt, lost some friends, lost a job, made a fool of yourself. . .it was all meant to happen and it happened for a reason and itll get you somewhere at somepoint. . .and as much anxiety and aggravation as ou will have not understanding the things that happen that will get you to that point . .just live through em. . .cause getting there is half the fun right?
you know you missed my rants
<33