um wow...
i just noticed that tonight would have been the perfect night.
clear, starry skies, not a cloud anywhere. a soft, beautiful crescent moon, and warm with a slight breeze.
tonight is the kind of night billy was speaking of when he said he wanted to come to my house, with roses and a horse, and just...wisk me away...
that is, of course, when we were going out.
i went outside just now to admire the weather then i saw the moon, then the stars, noticed there were no clouds, that its warm and a little breeze was flowing through my hair. i almost started crying.
sometimes....this all is more than i can bear.
sometimes i wonder to myself why in the world i cant just ever be fully content.
then again - who cares about me being content?
amanda i miss you so bad and now is one of those times when i need you the most. i need to cry on your all-too-familiar shoulder, and now, youre not here.