Sleep.. work... sleep...
Travailler la nuit, dormir et m'emmerder le jour... voilà à quoi se résument mes week-ends, ou du moins celui-ci. Je sens aussi une sorte de sentiment d'insécurité me poursuivre depuis peu, et j'aimerais bien le faire taire, mais je ne sais pas comment m'y prendre. La fatigue et le manque de socialisation hors-travail doivent sûrement nuire... J'essaierai de m'aérer un peu l'esprit demain pendant la journée avant le travail. En attendant, j'écoute de la musique et j'essaie de garder la bonne humeur.
Bon, peut-être qu'écouter Sentimental de Porcupine Tree n'est pas la meilleure façon de faire, mais cette chanson est trop belle... surtout la version live avec piano dans Anesthetize.
Ou même cette version acoustique... <3
J'ai envie de quoter une partie d'un article de blog récent d'Amanda Palmer. C'est un post qui commence par du blabla sur Lady Gaga mais qui finit par dériver sur le sujet des choix de vie et de la liberté, ce que j'ai trouvé assez intéressant.
« it sometimes kills us to believe this, but you are ALWAYS free to choose a new path and hop off the one you’re on.
your expectations of yourself can change on a daily basis. it’s FINE.
your expectations of YOUR LIFE from when you were 12 years old, 15 years old, 25 years old, they will gnaw and haunt you. no doubt.
every love you left, every love you never chased, every career path you didn’t follow, every instrument you didn’t practice, every time you kept your mouth shut and should have spoken up, every time you said too much.
but none of that exists NOW. it’s gone, over, non-existant.
[...]
you can live in a free country, but you’re not free unless you allow your own fucking self to be free IN THIS MOMENT, here, NOW, and not locked up in the dreams of your past, or the potential regrets of the future.
[...]
the only measure to your success is whether you’re able to look in the mirror and feel authentic in your own fucking eyes.
can you? »
Reading this, I realized that I don't completely have this feeling of authenticity she's talking about. And that's one of the things that are eating me up inside, or will end up doing it after some time... Of course it's nothing new that I'm questioning myself about all this; I have pretty much always struggled with my ability to show my personality to other people around me. I think I have definitely made progress, but I also know that I still have a lot to do if I ever want to look at myself and feel entirely authentic.
Bon, peut-être qu'écouter Sentimental de Porcupine Tree n'est pas la meilleure façon de faire, mais cette chanson est trop belle... surtout la version live avec piano dans Anesthetize.
Ou même cette version acoustique... <3
Click to viewJ'ai envie de quoter une partie d'un article de blog récent d'Amanda Palmer. C'est un post qui commence par du blabla sur Lady Gaga mais qui finit par dériver sur le sujet des choix de vie et de la liberté, ce que j'ai trouvé assez intéressant.
« it sometimes kills us to believe this, but you are ALWAYS free to choose a new path and hop off the one you’re on.
your expectations of yourself can change on a daily basis. it’s FINE.
your expectations of YOUR LIFE from when you were 12 years old, 15 years old, 25 years old, they will gnaw and haunt you. no doubt.
every love you left, every love you never chased, every career path you didn’t follow, every instrument you didn’t practice, every time you kept your mouth shut and should have spoken up, every time you said too much.
but none of that exists NOW. it’s gone, over, non-existant.
[...]
you can live in a free country, but you’re not free unless you allow your own fucking self to be free IN THIS MOMENT, here, NOW, and not locked up in the dreams of your past, or the potential regrets of the future.
[...]
the only measure to your success is whether you’re able to look in the mirror and feel authentic in your own fucking eyes.
can you? »
Reading this, I realized that I don't completely have this feeling of authenticity she's talking about. And that's one of the things that are eating me up inside, or will end up doing it after some time... Of course it's nothing new that I'm questioning myself about all this; I have pretty much always struggled with my ability to show my personality to other people around me. I think I have definitely made progress, but I also know that I still have a lot to do if I ever want to look at myself and feel entirely authentic.