SIZZLER CAN SUCK MY FUCKING BALLS
*concerned, slightly effected haydon leaves house and is met by a black getz vehichle with the characters "dougg" and "jon" inside*
i ask where alex hills is
i am informed its a little drive "that way"
i hand jon Why?'s early whitney cd/ep. and because i'm in the back i think some and listen to the music.
we make it to our destination after much deliberation whether we actually want to go to sizzler or not
its a hard decision, and one we regretted to have made upon arrival.
"the cheapest meal...is 16 bucks..."
"the meal i want is 22..."
"fucking hell..."
so we handed our wallets over to the cash collector who explained it not actually necessary to hand over our actual wallets, to which jon replied to "no, keep it, my first born is yours also...i stand by my word."
we were taken to our seats, placed next to the entrance. being that sizzler were so kind as to empty our wallets and then scorn the offering of our first borns, we thought it par for the cause that we be treated like fecal matter and be placed at the entrance.
we waited...
"we have 2 hours to make the most of this", stated douggs classic shaped, and well crafted time peice. we lifted our glasses and were intent on discovering the wonderful tastes of an unheard of beverage displayed on the menu. "kirks kandy".
to out groups dismay, there was no "kirks kandy". fecal matter...we were...
our glasses filled with only the second best. we headed back to our seats.
and waited...
we were hungry. dougg claimed to be "watering". i enquired as to whether the watering had anything to do with his penis. i was answered with a "no". i hid my dashed hopes and consumed my beverage...only the second best for the fecal matter. Much discussion was derived from jons memories of pervious sizzler visits. he claimed it to be good value...only after reporting that his parents had indeed payed for...
all his meals.
scorned, and rightfully so, jon could only gain acceptance within the group again if he disarmed our frowns with laughter at the cause of many a penis and sex joke. he delivers. with quick succession the jokes are spat out like an unsatisfied customer at an eatery. we laugh heartily...and wait.
i spin through my bag at the thought of something. to my friends this looks to be nothing of concern to them...yet. a minute later i unveil one muesli bar, choc chip.
i proceed to unpackage said food item, and disect it with my fork and knife, inserting the dismembered muesli into my "watering" hole. satisfied laughter shakes the table and i feel the joke had gone far enough, justifying the placement of the rest of said muesli in a menu.
...we wait...
...doug and jon, fed up, raid the salad bar. i stand strong.
as my fair friends return, so does the waiter with our meals. i laugh at my pitifull friends and their sad excuses of salads while i enjoy my salad free portion of table
the meals tide us over, and were quite enjoyable. having said this, i think at this point a fresh poo would have tasted fantastic.
time moves on. and jon makes a comment that my potatoe looks as though a chef has "had his way with it". i am reduced to tears.
and onwards, like soldiers, we enter the battlefeild of "desert time".
allready aching from food consumption, we press on with what little time we have left to make the most of our empty bank accounts. Dougg takes to the desert table like a ravenous pitbull to a fresh 9 year old. i pour myself some icecream and stamp a wafer biscuit into its center, i proceed with the claim that "IT IS THE MONOLITH" *que douggs rendition of the 2001 space odyssey theme music*
laughter ensues, regardless of the serious nature of said monolith
we take our sugar constructions back to our table, and i decide the wafer inclusion to my desert was merely for joke purposes. it is removed. to jons dismay of course, and it is not long before the monoloth is consumed in its entirety. movie reference destroyed, along with my heart.
we stay seated untill 9 o clock, determined to even make the most of our allowed entry at the cost of our savings.
and we leave. proud men. broken men...but proud men. some may claim "brave" a suitable term for myself and my fellow compatriots, but we were merely carying out the weekly schedual of some thousands of familys across australia. these blessed beings in posetion of seemingly no reedemable characteristics, deserve this salute. and i return it to them.
then i came home.
i ask where alex hills is
i am informed its a little drive "that way"
i hand jon Why?'s early whitney cd/ep. and because i'm in the back i think some and listen to the music.
we make it to our destination after much deliberation whether we actually want to go to sizzler or not
its a hard decision, and one we regretted to have made upon arrival.
"the cheapest meal...is 16 bucks..."
"the meal i want is 22..."
"fucking hell..."
so we handed our wallets over to the cash collector who explained it not actually necessary to hand over our actual wallets, to which jon replied to "no, keep it, my first born is yours also...i stand by my word."
we were taken to our seats, placed next to the entrance. being that sizzler were so kind as to empty our wallets and then scorn the offering of our first borns, we thought it par for the cause that we be treated like fecal matter and be placed at the entrance.
we waited...
"we have 2 hours to make the most of this", stated douggs classic shaped, and well crafted time peice. we lifted our glasses and were intent on discovering the wonderful tastes of an unheard of beverage displayed on the menu. "kirks kandy".
to out groups dismay, there was no "kirks kandy". fecal matter...we were...
our glasses filled with only the second best. we headed back to our seats.
and waited...
we were hungry. dougg claimed to be "watering". i enquired as to whether the watering had anything to do with his penis. i was answered with a "no". i hid my dashed hopes and consumed my beverage...only the second best for the fecal matter. Much discussion was derived from jons memories of pervious sizzler visits. he claimed it to be good value...only after reporting that his parents had indeed payed for...
all his meals.
scorned, and rightfully so, jon could only gain acceptance within the group again if he disarmed our frowns with laughter at the cause of many a penis and sex joke. he delivers. with quick succession the jokes are spat out like an unsatisfied customer at an eatery. we laugh heartily...and wait.
i spin through my bag at the thought of something. to my friends this looks to be nothing of concern to them...yet. a minute later i unveil one muesli bar, choc chip.
i proceed to unpackage said food item, and disect it with my fork and knife, inserting the dismembered muesli into my "watering" hole. satisfied laughter shakes the table and i feel the joke had gone far enough, justifying the placement of the rest of said muesli in a menu.
...we wait...
...doug and jon, fed up, raid the salad bar. i stand strong.
as my fair friends return, so does the waiter with our meals. i laugh at my pitifull friends and their sad excuses of salads while i enjoy my salad free portion of table
the meals tide us over, and were quite enjoyable. having said this, i think at this point a fresh poo would have tasted fantastic.
time moves on. and jon makes a comment that my potatoe looks as though a chef has "had his way with it". i am reduced to tears.
and onwards, like soldiers, we enter the battlefeild of "desert time".
allready aching from food consumption, we press on with what little time we have left to make the most of our empty bank accounts. Dougg takes to the desert table like a ravenous pitbull to a fresh 9 year old. i pour myself some icecream and stamp a wafer biscuit into its center, i proceed with the claim that "IT IS THE MONOLITH" *que douggs rendition of the 2001 space odyssey theme music*
laughter ensues, regardless of the serious nature of said monolith
we take our sugar constructions back to our table, and i decide the wafer inclusion to my desert was merely for joke purposes. it is removed. to jons dismay of course, and it is not long before the monoloth is consumed in its entirety. movie reference destroyed, along with my heart.
we stay seated untill 9 o clock, determined to even make the most of our allowed entry at the cost of our savings.
and we leave. proud men. broken men...but proud men. some may claim "brave" a suitable term for myself and my fellow compatriots, but we were merely carying out the weekly schedual of some thousands of familys across australia. these blessed beings in posetion of seemingly no reedemable characteristics, deserve this salute. and i return it to them.
then i came home.