My lovely Derek, Is on his way...:o)
Yesterday was another missle crisis show. Me && Becky were only going to stay for them, since they were the first to play, for two reasons. A) My Mom thought we were at her house studying, not in the fucking city, at someones house. B) We were hungry. After they got off, Becky's like, I feel like staying. So everyone gets pissed at me. And tried convincing me to stay, and if she were to call to go into the bathroom and say I was taking a shit. And call Becky's Mom to lie for me! So they end up taking me back to Becky's, and then going back to the show.
It makes me so fucking mad when, she knows how it is to be paranoid, and the one time that I am, they try to convince me what to do.
So, I got back to her house. And her Mom is just like, So she has no problem wasting gas I see. I got upset, and I asked for a reading. She told me things. She said the reason that I don't remember my childhood, is because of my Dad, Recently I found out when I was like, 6 weeks old, my dad would leave me alone to go get drunk. And I guess he would do it alot. I guess, he would make me drink with him, mind you I was only with him until 2, or thats at least when we lived in the same house. I already knew my parents were always around drugs, and he would always blow pot smoke, in my face. And all these things make alot of sense. Also, I guess he would sexually assault me. Which makes even more sense since, he carried onto do that through my teenage years. She told me that in a matter of time I was going to find out these things.
I told her how Mike left for the Marines yesterday. And I didn't know what my problem was because sometimes I miss him. I miss him more than John. That there trully was something about him. That even though I didn't really know him, I don't know. I told her how whenever we would talk that I would hope that something would always come of it, but never did. She told me, that he felt the same way about me to, about everything. Which made me happy. Then she told me that I'm going to meet this guy. I'm going to meet him, when I'm hanging out with my friends. I guess he has blonde hair [ maybe bleached ] and he's going to be built. And apparently he will have the letter L in his name. She says that he is going to just fall for me, and treat me wonderfully. I don't know. This just sounds too good to be true. But I'm just holding on to this hope, just so I can feel like there is something. Corny, I know. But hey, thats the story of my life.
Then, I went on, and I gave her a reading. I'm Oh So Proud of myself. I was right on, and it was just amazing!
Today was pretty fuckin' shitty. Got into a little bit of a fight in English, Purly Verbal. This quote by Dante, explains it perfectly. "All the people like us are "we" and everyone else is "they."
I don't think me && danielle are really friends anymore. But then I think. Were we ever? I don't know.
I know this was pretty effing long, But haven't had one of these in a while!