where is my john wayne? where is my prarie sun? where is my happy ending? where have all the cowboys
so i ended up being kicked out of the house at like...11:45 last night.
after being slapped i ran down the stairs crying and i was like
"i'm goin out to smoke a cigarette you stupid asshole!"
then he locked me out.
i called kristin.....she comforted.
then called cory...she HALF ASS comforted b/c she was getting in bed.
that bitch.
i've come to realize i only have a couple of real friends.
the rest are just people who i hang out with to escape my normal routine.
i -wish- we were closer, but, that's never gonna happen, and it won't b/c we're just...too different.
i'm happy to be me and i'm happy you all are...ya'll..but we won't be taking anything any further b/c then I'd be unhappy.
i actually think i am developing a new crush. but, i could be wrong.
i just have this feeling...this "I like you!" feeling, and it isn't for whom it's been for b/c -that- isn't making me happy in the least.
i need to move the hell on from you all.
i need to get a fucking life and stop writing in a POINTLESS online journal.
i need to keep my thoughts to myself and stop doing the self-destructive shit i do.
maybe this morning, and me waking up entirely on my own and my feeling a since of wholeness, out of nowhere....is...good.
i've been needing to find something to make me happy.
something to not be indecisive and to just....be a constant.
i feel like, i don't know where from exactly, but i have this feeling i'm getting my constant back.
farewell lonely lovers, have a good day.
(stop taking all my entries SO fucking literally. just b/c i say one thing doesn't mean i mean what i said. i could be meaning something completely different. so....yeah!)
after being slapped i ran down the stairs crying and i was like
"i'm goin out to smoke a cigarette you stupid asshole!"
then he locked me out.
i called kristin.....she comforted.
then called cory...she HALF ASS comforted b/c she was getting in bed.
that bitch.
i've come to realize i only have a couple of real friends.
the rest are just people who i hang out with to escape my normal routine.
i -wish- we were closer, but, that's never gonna happen, and it won't b/c we're just...too different.
i'm happy to be me and i'm happy you all are...ya'll..but we won't be taking anything any further b/c then I'd be unhappy.
i actually think i am developing a new crush. but, i could be wrong.
i just have this feeling...this "I like you!" feeling, and it isn't for whom it's been for b/c -that- isn't making me happy in the least.
i need to move the hell on from you all.
i need to get a fucking life and stop writing in a POINTLESS online journal.
i need to keep my thoughts to myself and stop doing the self-destructive shit i do.
maybe this morning, and me waking up entirely on my own and my feeling a since of wholeness, out of nowhere....is...good.
i've been needing to find something to make me happy.
something to not be indecisive and to just....be a constant.
i feel like, i don't know where from exactly, but i have this feeling i'm getting my constant back.
farewell lonely lovers, have a good day.
(stop taking all my entries SO fucking literally. just b/c i say one thing doesn't mean i mean what i said. i could be meaning something completely different. so....yeah!)