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Man my mind has just been crazy busy with thoughts and worries ..school..friends..boy..horse stuff..christmas..God.. so much is just in my brain at the moment.. and I wish i could just squeeze it all out..School is frustrating because I have so many expectations that I want.. yet I don't try my hardest .. which is weird..I donnoo like Amber was saying I wish I could just go sit at the Feet of God my Father whom I love so much and just listen to him talk all day and then his strength would just be in my to carry on just hearing him speak would give me strength.. I mean I know he speaks to us but I mean like face to face one on one no earthly distractions. ah i love my father so much...yet I still do stuff i shouldn't which i know ill always do stuff that i shouldn't but its the same thing over and over and over again..and everytime i say i'm sorry and ask him to forgive me but i've just built this wall around myself.. not ready to completley give up everything.. which i know he thinks is fine..theres a time and I place when i will just lay everything down to him and feel so free and he will throw my burdens in the deepest ocean .. and ill have such joy.. but i'm not ready yet as crazy as that sounds.. but i know Father is probably laughing because he knows i can't escape the plans and the big love he want to share with me .. and believe me i don't want to miss anything i'm just not ready. LORD stir it up in my heart a passion for your name.. put that passion in me again..keep my thirsting for you.. thats what my heart longs for and help me to give up the earthly desires and sins that I have..I love you Lord! ah sometimes i just start typing and i go into a prayer..i love praying especially for other people its amazing..WOOOOOOOOO WELl i'm gonna go gawk at my oldest brother muscly friends with a wire tatoo around his nice muscular arm hahah :)
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