(no subject)
Second chapter is up :) Thanks to all the people who take the time to read this.
I approached Sharon cautiously, previous encounters with possible wives never ended well, so I simply introduced myself and started chatting. Luckily, she was hooked to me.
Sharon was a bit weird, she did nothing but talk about strange events that occurred to people during the past years, like this one woman, I think she told me her name was Bella...Goat? Uh, no I think it was Bella Goth, anyway, Sharon told me she was apparently abducted by aliens (what a stupid thing, there are no such things as aliens!), and now resides in Strangetown (I wonder what is so strange about that place to acquire such a name).
"Oh, and have you ever heard about Finn and Marinel?" She asked
"Who?" I said confused, she was switching topics every minute.
"Yes, Finn and Marinel Thomas! They're werewolves you know, quite famous too, you know how our God is Franzie? Well, they are of a completely different simeligion, they are part of the Megatron simeligion, and their God is Meghan."
Werewolves, simeligion, what on earth was this woman talking about?
"Yeah...I see, look I'm off now, I'll give you call ok?"
She looked at me smiling "Oh, it was nice meeting you Henry, I like your shirt, Cows and chicken should totally unite for soccer, don't ya think?"
I looked at her with eyes wide open "Uh, I guess....Bye!"
And I was off to sleep.
So here goes, this new meeting should decide whether me and Sharon are really meant to be....
"Makoto" I said "here is $100, I want you to do two things for me, one, tell Nicole I won't be needing her, I would call her myself, but she has cursed my phone to not re-call the last caller. Second, buy yourself a nice can of spray paint, and finally go write 'watchmacallit in dah hood!'"
"Oh, Mr.Meyers, I will, most definately, before I go, here's the newspaper, and I have a message from Nicole herself!]"
I nodded "Okay, tell me"
Makoto took a deep breath "She says, that you will be cursed with a child that start with a 'C', that no longer will you want to be, and that she will literally break the heart, of a boy called Makoto Bart....Oh wait a second, that's me! WTF? Mr.Meyers, don't you ever have a daughter!!!"
And he ran off, as usual. What a fantastic riddle that old bag created, poor Makoto, still believing in the supernatural, how many times do I have to say that it doesn't exist?
I greeted Sharon soon after, I wanted to kiss her soft lips, but she turned away, giving my eye a hard brush of her hair.
"Ooooh, look at the birdies! so pretty!"
"Oh Sharon" I said gazing into her eyes.
"Henry, I...." She started.
That was it! She was going to say she loved me!
"Henry, you've got something in your teeth" She said unenthusiastically.
Drat!
"Henry, just this once I'll ignore what you have in youe teeth and will kiss you"
Sharon kissed me, oh my first kiss! How thrilling, still, what on earth did I have in my teeth?
Yes more money flowing in! With this going on I'll be more famous than those people, oh what were their names? Fibb and Mary?
And there was Bebba Goat? Oh who knows.
Still, I don't believe in the unnatural, I mean, how silly is that eh?
Another promotion! Cause I'm just that cool. (And I've brought a friend)
However, Kotei (my driver) is doing very badly lately, that's what he's telling me.
It seems like his wife is taking away all his money from the break-up, he says he's been reduced to extreme situations like meeting grim at the stroke of death, ridiculous? I KNOW! I mean, I really doubt that the Grim Reaper exists, how stupid is that?
Gunther didn't seem to find Sharon attractive like I do, how could he not? Just look at her! She's amazing!
Besides, he should look in the mirror, like anything that moved would be attracted to him anyways. what with that face of his, but please don't say that to him.
Oh! Guess what? Sharon moved in, and She as in my God, built me a new home! (I don't have the skill to construct, I lack the education, and I'm no fit shape to be an architect v_v)
Sharon only had $328, it didn't matter, because I love her to bits.
She explained to me in these exact words;
"Oh Henry, I'm sorry for the lack of funds I come to you with, it's definitely not my fault, before the almighty She God took power over Desiderata Valley, I used to be a lap dancer! I know, I'm totally ashamed of that.
She gave me another chance when she succeeded to power, and moved me in with my sister, teaching me a valuable lesson in independence. Unfortunately my sister's family were nervous around me, Hannah's husband seemed to feel a strong attraction towards me, but that's when I met you!
However I never really managed to earn enough cash (Franzileons), I was a waitress and a part time dancer, cheesy and very cliche' like, I know."
Her exact words, I swear.
My house, it's a bit plain and simple...what? I don't have that much money left. I'M NOT MR. BIG YOU KNOW!!
The bedroom, where many heir-lings will be conceived (Yes you can all go say eww, I don't care :) )
Oh how marvelous is she now? Not that she wasn't marvelous before, no really! She was! I only find her more attractive now because, NO! SHE WILL BE BEAUTIFUL EVEN IN A BINBAG!
I don't care if she stayed as she was, I love her still...but yes I do like her now too!
Oh my brain is hurting!
Authors Note: You've just witnessed one of Henry's crazy moment :)
So, with butterflies in my stomach...hang on, I'M A MAN! I don't have butterflies!
Anyway, being the usual nervous wreck that I am, I popped the question to Sharon, I was most certain she would turn me down, I mean, look at the place, it's a shack, she'll think I'm a perverted soul.
But no, she accepted, which left be aback for a while, I mean, look at me, I was merely a desk sergeant!
Yeah, you can stop looking at me now.
We were married then and there, maybe Sharon would've preferred a real wedding, but I could't afford that here.
"HENRY!" Gunther yelled "Thank Franzie! Here you are!"
I blinked multiple times "Yeah? Were did you think I'd be?"
"OH I DON'T KNOW! A FLIPPIN' HOUSE JUST POPPED OUT OF NOWHERE! AND I FOUND MYSELF HEAD DOWN INSIDE A TOILET!!!"
"Well, that's odd. Whatever, do you mind? We want to conceive. Bye Gunther!
I don't think I shall go into detail regarding the exact moment where we conceived our first child.
Just imagine pretty flowers and birds singing.
"Henry?" Sharon called out
"Yes?" I answered back.
"You still have that thing in your teeth. Zzzz"
"Hey Makoto, can you keep a secret?"
"Uh yeah, I guess"
Sharon started whispering "I'm pregnant with Henry's child! Don't tell him though, it's a secret, I'll tell him when the time is right"
Makoto gave a jump of fright "Oh Dear God! Lord save me!! For my doom is closer than I thought! Oh no, Oh no Oh no!"
"Is something the matter Makoto?" Sharon asked.
Makoto just ran away, like usual.
Later that day the sister in law dropped by, oh for the love of Franzie, when was she going to leave.
"Hannah, where are you going? You're not leaving are you?"
Hannah replied "No, just have to go and do....something"
How typical of these people, always taking advantage of the fact that we live on the beach to go and build sandcastles, I should start charging money for every sandcastle built, after all, I'm the one who PAID FOR THIS!
"Henry, if you ever hurt my sister, I swear I'll rip you in half and feed your guts to my dog! *twitch* *twitch* *glitch*"
I didn't reply, Sharon previously told me that her sister's marriage was in turmoil, and that her son wanted to be emancipated.
"I'm watching you! *glitch**twitch*"
Baby bump! Oh what wonderful miracle the world of babies is! See, I didn't exist till two days ago, I cannot remember anything from when I was a baby, yes, feel sorry for me *puppy eyes*
Franzie talking: I interrupt this legacy to show you how Sharon is actually weird and indeed quite odd.
Hopefully the baby fear will fade away the next morning.
"*Sob* Oh why did Liz have to leave me?! I could've given her so much more money! I LOVED HER AND SHE LEFT ME! WHEHHH!!"
Authors Note: My previous legacy featured Liz (JustMe) and her husband Taurus. They divorced and Liz ran away with Malcolm. It is said that they have broken up.
Oh I'm a good father, I know I will be for sure, I just know it.
I mean, my father never rubbed my mothers belly when she was pregnant, even though that's probably because they never existed. But then, how do I exist, if I have no parents why am I in this world? Who do I belong to? Oh no! My brain is hurting!
"Honey." Sharon said
"Yes dear?"
"There's something stuck in your teeth"
Oh dear, not that again!
So I was pondering later that night (while skilling obviously, I can't go wasting my time you know. I'M NOT MR. BIG!) why on earth were my teeth so dirty? Were they? *opens mouth to reveal teeth* Do you think they are dirty?
While pondering that night why my teeth were still dirty (again, YES! again) - for no apparent reason, mind you, Sharon was in labor! Oh dear! What was I supposed to do? How were the procedures, was I supposed to get in there and take the baby out? WHERE ON EARTH WAS THE MIDWIFE?
Though it does seem in this picture that I kept my groove. I'm a funky lad aren't I?
And so he was born, our little bundle of joy, though I still don't know how he possibly can be a bundle, he doesn't t seem like one
We named him Tudor
.my eyes and Sharon's hair color.
Authors Note: Tudor was named after the hit TV series 'The Tudors
Off to part two ^_^