~*Gone Forever*~

[xfragilextearsx]

These last two days have been the worst two days of my entire life. Last night my Grandpa Moyer went behind his garage in Beaverton, Michigan and shot himself in the chest. The neighbors were the ones that found him and called the paramedics. They said that when they found him...he was still reaching for the gun. He walked right past my Grandma with his pistol - she says that she thought that he was going out to shoot the black birds again. His reason for killing himself was because he was in so much pain that he just couldn't take it anymore. He had congestive heart failure and emphysema which he had been taking several pills for. My mom, Aunt Denise, Sister Dre'a, her boyfriend and my dad all rushed up to St. Mary's hospital in Saginaw...where he died during surgery 6 hour later. I guess a while back he signed a paper stating that he wanted to be a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) - meaning that if something happened to him that we wanted to be left alone that he didn't want the doctors or surgeons to try and save his life. But I guess the hospital didn't know about it. Last night my Uncle Norwood on my dad's side of the family came over to help with the little ones and my best friend Whitney Hargrove came over to comfort me!!! I love you to death girlie!!! Thank you so much!! You have no idea how much that meant to me - even though you were only over a few hours. You're such a sweet <3!!! I love you!!! *sighs* - I guess that Monday they are doing an autopsy on him and then Wednesday they are probably going to have the funeral. The funeral is going to be help at Sharp's funeral home in Swartz Creek. He's a war veteran so I'm not sure if they are going to do a special service for him or not. I'm not going to be at school next week more than likely. So don't miss me too much. No words can describe this excruciating pain that I feel right now. Everything else that has torn me to pieces could never amount to this. I just saw him last weekend on Mother's day. We all ate KFC together and he just sat in the other room in front of the TV and ate. Then he cracked a joke or two my way and then went in his room all alone. I am literally emotionally and physically worn out. Today - I desperately need to get out of this house, to get my mind of things and just get out...because I was basically here all day yesterday pretty much alone. It doesn't sound like my dad is going to let me go anywhere because him and my older sister Dre'a both don't feel good and they need someone to watch the kinds. I mine as well be their mom. My mom is supposed to be home around 6:00-6:30 so if I did go anywhere I would have to wait until she gets home...and even then I wouldn't have much time to get out of the house. But I desperately need to. I'm going to go watch Finding Nemo with my little sisters for the 12th time so far today. Later bitches!!! pe@ce

~*Jenelle Leavinia*~

R.I.P.
Anne Elizabeth Rollins

&

R.I.P.
Grandpa Moyer

I love and miss you both so unbearably much...

Someone come over and rescue me!!!