Totally Irrelevant
I'm reading 2 books at the same time. One is by Jack London and the other is by John Steinbeck. The stories take place pretty much in the same years (late 1890s-early 1900s) and are vaguely on the same topic (young Americans trying to make their way out in the wilderness) but I think I like Steinbeck better, b/c his characters are more vulnerable, humane and in general more... real. London's characters are like lay supermen, they never falter and they always make it big while the women run after them. On the other hand Steinbeck's characters struggle with life, have problems, worry about death etc. I just think the way Steinbeck writes is really inspirational, the way he describes life renews my interest in living my own. Yeah... I love to read a good book. Thank you John Steinbeck!
I went through emotional disaster these last few days. Felt like I was thrown around with no control whatsoever, but some how it felt good in a really sweet & sour way (just like chinese food)...? Some kind of sweet disharmony, when you let someone enter your life and they rummage through everything. Makes you shy, makes you indignant.. Most of all it renders you unable of knowing what to do. After all I guess it's good, it sharpens your feelings and stretches those heartstrings. No-one ever died from a broken heart (at least I hope so), it just shows you're still alive. At the same time I want nothing to do with clinging and possessiveness and all that ugly stuff. No... I just want to let things be and I'm not scared of being dissapointed. Like I am, but getting over it.
Still, you could have said goodbye!
Arghhh,,,
Yeah, so I'm also listening to some 70s music these days, some rock and some funk and some funk-rock. It seems to me like these were sunny, free times for people in general but I don't know for sure. Maybe the people who were young in the 70s didn't feel that way, they obviously had their own problems etc. But I don't know, maybe I've seen too many movies, I always think of sunny stuff and feel free when I am listening to this music... Like driving down the highway in the summer, with the wind blowing in your hair, smoking a cigarette and you don't care about nothing...