ENTRY # 863
This morning hasn't started off as lovely as I would have liked. I'm very sad the past few days and I thought it was a combination of Alex, Shaun, and just the fact its my birthday in general but now I'm not so sure.
I hate how low my self esteem is and how that makes me act around certain people. I hate the feelings it puts into my head about the kind of person I am and I hate how it makes me question if people actually like me. I keep looking for little things to justify why someone would be my friend, I need so much fucking proof that it drives people insane!
I just wish I could live my life and be happy. When I look in the mirror I struggle to find beauty. It's difficult for me to feel good about myself. I thought things were getting better but now I don't know. Sometimes you find out little bits of information and they really ruin your self image.
Curiosity killed the cat. It also killed my smile.
I hate how low my self esteem is and how that makes me act around certain people. I hate the feelings it puts into my head about the kind of person I am and I hate how it makes me question if people actually like me. I keep looking for little things to justify why someone would be my friend, I need so much fucking proof that it drives people insane!
I just wish I could live my life and be happy. When I look in the mirror I struggle to find beauty. It's difficult for me to feel good about myself. I thought things were getting better but now I don't know. Sometimes you find out little bits of information and they really ruin your self image.
Curiosity killed the cat. It also killed my smile.