Giving up on whats left...
WHAT FUCKING COULDNT GO WRONG TODAY? Fucking seriously! I give up,ive been pushed way too far this time! All i do is care for people and be there...iv helped all my friends and done nothing but be there, And what do i get? Nothing dont get me wrong i do have my friends like ceara and megs that i know are there. But today krys fuking hurt me sooo bad, i dont know if i can forget what she said man. She was saying that my problems are fake and im crying out for attention, dood everyone is crying out for attention and im not just trying to get attention with the shit i go through, Im so damn frustrated. The scars on my body will prove to you that the pain is real. God damn why the hell are people so selfish, like only they can feel pain and have problems. Im so fuking hurt God fuking damn it. So what if i tell people the shit i go through, Does that mean its not real? Ok lemme clue u in on something, Every fucking day is a war and i live in my own secret hell that i tell noone about i battle with myself every single day about everything should i eat or not and shit like that i feel so fat when i eat that im dying to throw it up but i dont because im stronger then that and i dont really need another addiction now do i ( i quit smoking on the 1st of feb)? Ok so yeh the pain i feel is fuking real thank you i hate everything right now, its so hard to stay strong and fight the tears, but im doing it arnt i, which means you can too!
All my friends have like death wishes and want to give up. It hurts so much to see someone that i love so fuking much hurt and want to give up. I helped ceara through that and hopefully she'll be ok but now its like becoming so sickening how many of my friends think about or try to die. I love you guys all so much that words cant describe it, losing you would make my world fall apart and id lose it and follow you, thats for damn sure. Remember that im alwayz here for all of you no matter what!
dunno how much longer i can hold on...seriously its become so hard. Im losing grip of reality and i try
I feel like im losing everything.
I to reach out but it slips farther away.Why me? Why does god hate me? I give up at the moment. I wish i could let this all out at alateen but i cant... i dont want to break down there like i did today. I dont need the drama and shit, maybe another time. So today my friend broke down infront of me and cried(that hurt), then told me my friend wanted to kill herself last nite(hurt even more), then i come home and have a fight with krys(breakdown time)! I actually cried, it was weird usaully i just have tears falling but today it was much more...So then i talk to megs and i call her cuz she told me to. I love her cuz shes megs...and we have the same point of view on everything and stuff shes easy to talk to and is understanding. Well i gotta go... getting ready for alateen with kendra!! Fun!
I love you guys
Xoxo
Serenity
I feel like there is no need for conversation
Some questions are better left without a reason
And I would rather reveal myself than my situation
Now and then I consider, my hesitation
The more the light shines through me
I pretend to close my eyes
The more the dark consumes me
I pretend I'm burning, burning bright
I wonder if the things I did were just to be different
To spare myself of the constant shame of my existence
And I would surely redeem myself in my desperation
Here and now I'll express, my situation
[CHORUS (2)]
There's nothing ever wrong but nothing's ever right
Such a cruel contradiction
I know I cross the lines its not easy to define
I'm born to indecision
There's always something new some path I'm supposed to choose
With no particular rhyme or reason
[CHORUS (2)]
All my friends have like death wishes and want to give up. It hurts so much to see someone that i love so fuking much hurt and want to give up. I helped ceara through that and hopefully she'll be ok but now its like becoming so sickening how many of my friends think about or try to die. I love you guys all so much that words cant describe it, losing you would make my world fall apart and id lose it and follow you, thats for damn sure. Remember that im alwayz here for all of you no matter what!
dunno how much longer i can hold on...seriously its become so hard. Im losing grip of reality and i try
I feel like im losing everything.
I to reach out but it slips farther away.Why me? Why does god hate me? I give up at the moment. I wish i could let this all out at alateen but i cant... i dont want to break down there like i did today. I dont need the drama and shit, maybe another time. So today my friend broke down infront of me and cried(that hurt), then told me my friend wanted to kill herself last nite(hurt even more), then i come home and have a fight with krys(breakdown time)! I actually cried, it was weird usaully i just have tears falling but today it was much more...So then i talk to megs and i call her cuz she told me to. I love her cuz shes megs...and we have the same point of view on everything and stuff shes easy to talk to and is understanding. Well i gotta go... getting ready for alateen with kendra!! Fun!
I love you guys
Xoxo
Serenity
I feel like there is no need for conversation
Some questions are better left without a reason
And I would rather reveal myself than my situation
Now and then I consider, my hesitation
The more the light shines through me
I pretend to close my eyes
The more the dark consumes me
I pretend I'm burning, burning bright
I wonder if the things I did were just to be different
To spare myself of the constant shame of my existence
And I would surely redeem myself in my desperation
Here and now I'll express, my situation
[CHORUS (2)]
There's nothing ever wrong but nothing's ever right
Such a cruel contradiction
I know I cross the lines its not easy to define
I'm born to indecision
There's always something new some path I'm supposed to choose
With no particular rhyme or reason
[CHORUS (2)]