Sometimes... i feel.. i coulda been better to you...

[xforgetregretx]

okay well im crying right now. UGh. Jesse just said to me "part of me does. but then part of me says dont like her again she'll just stop liking u and make u feel like shit." like i dont know how i could prove to him that i wouldnt just stop again. But, i might as well because i dont have a chance with him. ive never like really liked someone and been shut down. Well, by shaughn in grade 8 but i never straight up told him i liked him. So, that doesnt count. This is just a weird feeling.. i've never had it happen to me before. I was just like whoa. okay, and then i started to cry. I never cried over a guy not liking me before. Actually, i have, but like we were going out before. I didnt go out with Jesse. And it's my fault, fucking hell. Oh well. Someone else likes me.. so maybe i could like them even more. I've always had a thing for him.. its just never been as strong. Wait, tahts a lie. I was like obsessed with andy at one point lol. But then it faded but i've always had a thing for him. I know that if i hang out with him more, i'll like him more. There is a down point but maybe i could get him to stop.. lol who knows. I guess that i'm gonna have to see. I dont think that i'll be able to hang out with jesse for a while. Well, no, i can, but i probably wont talk to him. Sounds mean, i know, but i dunno, im hurt right now. I know i know, i change my mind way to much, but i need to get over jesse. He's obviously not into me. Life was much better when i didnt have a crush. I wanted one, but there were no tears and all that. boo..fuck. Just watch andy like the other chick instead of me. Oh well. New semester is starting. Fuck yes. Even tho im realy upset, im happy with myself for asking jesse wat the deal was because like thats not like me.. and atleast i know now so im not like pinning myself for him.DO u get wat i mean? oh well. anyways. Yeah, atleast i know what i should do now. I guess we'll c what happens in the new semester on monday and with andy. No body knows!

"do u want me to? cuz my heart keeps falling faster.."