(no subject)
So much has been going on.
In life.. work is going well. Im actually heading out now.
In family my little brother almost died yesterday. Hes okay.. but shit. This is why drinking and going on a boat in the middle of the night is not good.
In love: Ive offically let go of someone. Its for the best. I dont know why I felt the need to be devoted for so long. Its clearly been over for months. He is now dating someone els.. and clearly doesnt have the heart to tell me. But.. I am not a little girl. I can see things clearly for what they are. So I have not been dating because well... I Just wasnt ready. I was still holding on to some weird vision of a fairy tale. There have been a few good guys who I was interested in.. but clearly I never took the time to pursue because of my devotion problem. I couldnt imagin telling him I had found someone els. That was scary to me. I sat down this weekend and gave myslef a reality check. Its now about me.
Long story short.. Im going to start living again. there is somebody I met that Im going to be spending some more time with. And for now.. Its a good thing. The ball is moving slowly.. But thats a good thing too. Im still healing from the last breakup.. but I think ifI go slow..everything will fall in to place.
I deserve to have someone close to me that makes me happy. Someone who I want to make happy. Im 23. I live in a sweet apartment. Im coverd in friends. Im making okay money. The only thing that is missing is someone I can call before bed.. or email to say goodnight.. or go out to the city with. though I dont mind being alone when everyone els is alone and can pay attention to me.. The truth is everyone arround me has found someone to be with.
Im excited now... I have those new relationship vibes pulsing threw me. I have someone to look sexy for. I have someone in mind when I put on my makeup. I have someone to tell me I am pretty.
this was not the orriginal plan. But.. maybe its the right one.
Im sorry I couldnt tell you in person. Its just to hard when I know how you will react.
In life.. work is going well. Im actually heading out now.
In family my little brother almost died yesterday. Hes okay.. but shit. This is why drinking and going on a boat in the middle of the night is not good.
In love: Ive offically let go of someone. Its for the best. I dont know why I felt the need to be devoted for so long. Its clearly been over for months. He is now dating someone els.. and clearly doesnt have the heart to tell me. But.. I am not a little girl. I can see things clearly for what they are. So I have not been dating because well... I Just wasnt ready. I was still holding on to some weird vision of a fairy tale. There have been a few good guys who I was interested in.. but clearly I never took the time to pursue because of my devotion problem. I couldnt imagin telling him I had found someone els. That was scary to me. I sat down this weekend and gave myslef a reality check. Its now about me.
Long story short.. Im going to start living again. there is somebody I met that Im going to be spending some more time with. And for now.. Its a good thing. The ball is moving slowly.. But thats a good thing too. Im still healing from the last breakup.. but I think ifI go slow..everything will fall in to place.
I deserve to have someone close to me that makes me happy. Someone who I want to make happy. Im 23. I live in a sweet apartment. Im coverd in friends. Im making okay money. The only thing that is missing is someone I can call before bed.. or email to say goodnight.. or go out to the city with. though I dont mind being alone when everyone els is alone and can pay attention to me.. The truth is everyone arround me has found someone to be with.
Im excited now... I have those new relationship vibes pulsing threw me. I have someone to look sexy for. I have someone in mind when I put on my makeup. I have someone to tell me I am pretty.
this was not the orriginal plan. But.. maybe its the right one.
Im sorry I couldnt tell you in person. Its just to hard when I know how you will react.