(no subject)
last night was one of the worst nights of my life.i got acute alcohol poisoning.
i went to franks party and me nathan gomez ian and caitlin got alcohol.
i bought a whole bottle of this vodka shit and me and caitlin drank it. i totally regret all of this.
matt called me right when we started drinking and i think he knew or somethign that i was and i felt like an idiot...when i was wayy gone i told danny to tell matt that im soo sorry and all this stuf and i kept crying. i don't know why i was doing this i hated it GAH. i kept saying that now matt hates me nad everything and i really don't think i have to worry about it.
i made a total fucking fool of myself and im so glad that we're on break so i don't have to go back to school and see everyone. i stayed in the bathroom for 2 hours balling my eyes out and puking. i think i puked 9 times or something. i kept saying that all i wanted was my mom and how shes gonna hate me nad that i love her nad everything. and no one would call her i kept trying to but i lost my phone a bunch because everyone had it. i felt like the biggest idiot when andrew came in there. im glad that he did in a way idk why but i was thinking to myself that i wanted either andrew or alex strong to come in i don't have any idea why but thats what i wanted. idk if i said that to someone or not but then andrew came in with vanessa and vanessa was talking about taking me to the hosptial but i couldn't get up and i was soo scared that if i went i was gonna get in soo much shit and get charged with under aged drinking. GOD i can't beleive myself. i didn't know i was capable of crying so much. and yuck i hate puking. then steven kept calling and all i reember from that was him telling me that he loves me and he was worried and everything and i just kept balling my eyes out to him telling him i wanted my mom and that i was sorry. he siad he was gonna call my mom but i think he talked stef into doing it. so stef talked to my mom and told her i had been drinking and i needed to get picked up i guess so my mom came and omg i hated it. i kept telling her i loved her and she never once said it back to me. NOT ONE TIME.
GOODDD that bothers me soo much
soo then my grandpa calls me and yeah idk everyone in my whole family knows now i hate that about my mom she alwasy tells everyone in the family about all of my problems. so tomorrow is easter and i have to see them all and they're all gonna give me shit about it.
mainly i just wanna apologize to everyone that was there and saw me being a fucking fagot.
and i wanna thank everyone that was there to help me out. that meant so much to me and im so thankful for all of you that were there for me.
so i'm done drinking.
and that'll probably include any type of drugs too.
don't call me straight edge.
i went to franks party and me nathan gomez ian and caitlin got alcohol.
i bought a whole bottle of this vodka shit and me and caitlin drank it. i totally regret all of this.
matt called me right when we started drinking and i think he knew or somethign that i was and i felt like an idiot...when i was wayy gone i told danny to tell matt that im soo sorry and all this stuf and i kept crying. i don't know why i was doing this i hated it GAH. i kept saying that now matt hates me nad everything and i really don't think i have to worry about it.
i made a total fucking fool of myself and im so glad that we're on break so i don't have to go back to school and see everyone. i stayed in the bathroom for 2 hours balling my eyes out and puking. i think i puked 9 times or something. i kept saying that all i wanted was my mom and how shes gonna hate me nad that i love her nad everything. and no one would call her i kept trying to but i lost my phone a bunch because everyone had it. i felt like the biggest idiot when andrew came in there. im glad that he did in a way idk why but i was thinking to myself that i wanted either andrew or alex strong to come in i don't have any idea why but thats what i wanted. idk if i said that to someone or not but then andrew came in with vanessa and vanessa was talking about taking me to the hosptial but i couldn't get up and i was soo scared that if i went i was gonna get in soo much shit and get charged with under aged drinking. GOD i can't beleive myself. i didn't know i was capable of crying so much. and yuck i hate puking. then steven kept calling and all i reember from that was him telling me that he loves me and he was worried and everything and i just kept balling my eyes out to him telling him i wanted my mom and that i was sorry. he siad he was gonna call my mom but i think he talked stef into doing it. so stef talked to my mom and told her i had been drinking and i needed to get picked up i guess so my mom came and omg i hated it. i kept telling her i loved her and she never once said it back to me. NOT ONE TIME.
GOODDD that bothers me soo much
soo then my grandpa calls me and yeah idk everyone in my whole family knows now i hate that about my mom she alwasy tells everyone in the family about all of my problems. so tomorrow is easter and i have to see them all and they're all gonna give me shit about it.
mainly i just wanna apologize to everyone that was there and saw me being a fucking fagot.
and i wanna thank everyone that was there to help me out. that meant so much to me and im so thankful for all of you that were there for me.
so i'm done drinking.
and that'll probably include any type of drugs too.
don't call me straight edge.