Scream
Do you ever wish you could just scream? I get no relief from this...and the sad part is that even after next week, I will still have no relief...ok maybe some...but it wont go away...I keep pretending like it will....Yesterday was no surprise...non...it was weird very...but I think Hol was more shocked than me...
Nothing makes any sense..I am sitting in school and have more hw than ever...In french she bitches at me for being lazy and not doing hw and classwork when I actually got sleep for once yesterday! It is all so pointless....Phyisics..crazy amount of work still to do andyet I did so much already...and whats it worth? Its not gonna help me with anything at all...and Im sitting here and teachers are getting stricter and are saying things about laziness and stupid essays in journalsim or english or anything...and yea maybe most of it is not hard, but I do not care at all about any of it. IT IS NOT MY LIFE .... I dont need them bitching at me for something I could care less about....And like work...I dont know if I can do it anymore...I doubt Ill be able to do birthday parties or anything like that....I D K....this is about all the "relief" I can get...sitting here neglecting my work in order to write in here...And I cant even write everything I wanna say...I cant say exactly what Im thinking...No stupid boy problems or friends or fake people or drama or plans for the weekend or family or anything...no I could care less about those portions of my life right now...I care I kno I do...But that is not worth dealing with...stupid school or college or prom or anything...Who cares? seriously non of that means jack shit when real shit happens...Non of the petty little fights....or the fights that last forever cuz people are just mean or anything like that...no....none of that has mattered the last few weeks....but now especially....when there is no question to whether or not real shit ...bad shit ...happens to people who do not deserve it...I just wish I could scream for as long as I can and as loud as I can and these thoughts and everything that has built up inside would just burst out and I wish I didnt care about anyboody else so that wya I could just tell everybody abot it...all of it...what he did....what is the effect of it...just scream......AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Nothing makes any sense..I am sitting in school and have more hw than ever...In french she bitches at me for being lazy and not doing hw and classwork when I actually got sleep for once yesterday! It is all so pointless....Phyisics..crazy amount of work still to do andyet I did so much already...and whats it worth? Its not gonna help me with anything at all...and Im sitting here and teachers are getting stricter and are saying things about laziness and stupid essays in journalsim or english or anything...and yea maybe most of it is not hard, but I do not care at all about any of it. IT IS NOT MY LIFE .... I dont need them bitching at me for something I could care less about....And like work...I dont know if I can do it anymore...I doubt Ill be able to do birthday parties or anything like that....I D K....this is about all the "relief" I can get...sitting here neglecting my work in order to write in here...And I cant even write everything I wanna say...I cant say exactly what Im thinking...No stupid boy problems or friends or fake people or drama or plans for the weekend or family or anything...no I could care less about those portions of my life right now...I care I kno I do...But that is not worth dealing with...stupid school or college or prom or anything...Who cares? seriously non of that means jack shit when real shit happens...Non of the petty little fights....or the fights that last forever cuz people are just mean or anything like that...no....none of that has mattered the last few weeks....but now especially....when there is no question to whether or not real shit ...bad shit ...happens to people who do not deserve it...I just wish I could scream for as long as I can and as loud as I can and these thoughts and everything that has built up inside would just burst out and I wish I didnt care about anyboody else so that wya I could just tell everybody abot it...all of it...what he did....what is the effect of it...just scream......AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH