im suppose to find this funny
but i dont
If you're from the region read and laugh!
Dolls for the Northwest Indiana market:
Munster Barbie:
This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears a leopard print
outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends.
Percocet prescription sold separately!
East Chicago Barbie:
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional
accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his '79
Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the
addition of the infant.
St. John Barbie:
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or
Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and
"The Country Club" membership. Also available for this set are
Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to
afford any of them.
Dyer Barbie/Ken:
This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by
simply adding or subtracting the multiple "snap-on" parts .
Highland Barbie
This modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar
Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no
full time occupation or secondary education. Traffic jamming cell
phone sold separately.
Gary Barbie:
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis
knife, a Pontiac with dark tinted windows and a crack pipe. This
model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash
(preferably small, untraceable bills). Unless you are a cop, then
we don't know what you are talking about.
Lake of the Four Seasons Barbie:
She comes with an assortment of Coach Handbags, a Lexus SUV,
a longhaired foreign dog named Honey and a "cookie cutter"
$500,000.00 house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face
lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with "augmented"
version.
Portage Barbie:
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes
too small, a NASCAR shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder.
She comes with a six-pack of Bud and a Hank Williams,Jr. CD set.
She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when
she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a
Confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.
Hobart Barbie:
This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of high-heeled
sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gut Ken
out of another Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid
washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see through halter-top. Also
available with a mobile home.
Valpo Barbie:
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair,
archless feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white
socks. She prefers that you call her "Willow." She does not want or
need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Barbies and the optional
Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.
If you're from the region read and laugh!
Dolls for the Northwest Indiana market:
Munster Barbie:
This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears a leopard print
outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends.
Percocet prescription sold separately!
East Chicago Barbie:
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional
accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his '79
Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the
addition of the infant.
St. John Barbie:
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or
Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and
"The Country Club" membership. Also available for this set are
Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to
afford any of them.
Dyer Barbie/Ken:
This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by
simply adding or subtracting the multiple "snap-on" parts .
Highland Barbie
This modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar
Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no
full time occupation or secondary education. Traffic jamming cell
phone sold separately.
Gary Barbie:
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis
knife, a Pontiac with dark tinted windows and a crack pipe. This
model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash
(preferably small, untraceable bills). Unless you are a cop, then
we don't know what you are talking about.
Lake of the Four Seasons Barbie:
She comes with an assortment of Coach Handbags, a Lexus SUV,
a longhaired foreign dog named Honey and a "cookie cutter"
$500,000.00 house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face
lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with "augmented"
version.
Portage Barbie:
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes
too small, a NASCAR shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder.
She comes with a six-pack of Bud and a Hank Williams,Jr. CD set.
She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when
she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a
Confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.
Hobart Barbie:
This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of high-heeled
sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gut Ken
out of another Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid
washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see through halter-top. Also
available with a mobile home.
Valpo Barbie:
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair,
archless feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white
socks. She prefers that you call her "Willow." She does not want or
need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Barbies and the optional
Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.