sleep on portraits painted as perfect as you
Well, its been a while since I last said anything.
I miss home. I miss hanging out with nikki, mandy, christie, nolan, ryan.... just everyone.
I talked to christie for a little bit last night and it just made me miss the times of having bon-fires at the beach with adam trying to jump over the fire, larry woods, skinny dipping in the lake, movie nights of getting trashed. Everytime I watch the best of will farrell, I think of the first time we all watched it. I think it was me, christie, anna, kurt, ronnie, jonny, lynsey... it was good times.
Maybe I'm just afraid to let go. Everyone back home has changed and I have too, but I just dont want to move on from those memories. I have all these pictures above my computer and I look at them and just think, wow. those were the good days. getting lit and going to burger king, passing up the window and then forgetting to pick up a bag.
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I'm pretty content with the way things are going right now between us. We had a couple bumps last weekend, but now things are getting better. It just blows that he always has to go home over the weekends to work. I get really lonely lots of the time and he's never here then. Maybe I'm just too needy and rely on people for comfort and making me feel special and loved.
I have a low self esteam i guess. I feel gross and disgusting all the time and I'm constantly thinking about how I look and how others think of me. I want to be that one girl that people are just like damn... she's gorgeous. I constantly think of this and think of ways to fix myself. I stress myself out too much over this. How come we all can't look the way we dream?
I miss home. I miss hanging out with nikki, mandy, christie, nolan, ryan.... just everyone.
I talked to christie for a little bit last night and it just made me miss the times of having bon-fires at the beach with adam trying to jump over the fire, larry woods, skinny dipping in the lake, movie nights of getting trashed. Everytime I watch the best of will farrell, I think of the first time we all watched it. I think it was me, christie, anna, kurt, ronnie, jonny, lynsey... it was good times.
Maybe I'm just afraid to let go. Everyone back home has changed and I have too, but I just dont want to move on from those memories. I have all these pictures above my computer and I look at them and just think, wow. those were the good days. getting lit and going to burger king, passing up the window and then forgetting to pick up a bag.
______________________________________________________
I'm pretty content with the way things are going right now between us. We had a couple bumps last weekend, but now things are getting better. It just blows that he always has to go home over the weekends to work. I get really lonely lots of the time and he's never here then. Maybe I'm just too needy and rely on people for comfort and making me feel special and loved.
I have a low self esteam i guess. I feel gross and disgusting all the time and I'm constantly thinking about how I look and how others think of me. I want to be that one girl that people are just like damn... she's gorgeous. I constantly think of this and think of ways to fix myself. I stress myself out too much over this. How come we all can't look the way we dream?