College.
You know what I miss most about going to a real college UNIVERSITY?
Being semi on my own.
Being able to be alone when I wanted.
Being able to cry whenever I pleased [for some reason I feel like I can't cry in this house].
Not having to deal with my mom when she goes into mega bitch mode.
Not having to be home ever.
Not having to worry about anything but me and my school work.
Being with my friends.
Being in Pittsburgh, right in downtown.
Being out of Clairton, the shittiest town ever [someone needs to burn this mother fucking place to the ground along with half the people in it].
I just hate the feeling that I am going backwards.
I thought the point of life was to move forward, hence the future.
I am going backwards.
I'm back at home.
I'm pretty much back at CHS [hello, community college after clairton!].
I have pretty much no freedom.
All I have is me.
And I'm not good enough... but I don't mean that in a 'I hate myself' way.
I mean, literally, I am just not enough to keep me happy.
I miss my freedom.
I miss my dorm [which I hear has been taken over by some dumb bimbos].
I miss Pittsburgh.
I miss my friends.
...all my friends.
I just really hate everything right now and I don't fully understand why.
I hate photography and not getting credit for my work.
I hate school even if I say CCAC is the easiest place on earth, I just don't want to be there.
I cannot concentrate.
I just don't care to concentrate.
I just don't care.
What am I going to school for, anyway?
Can a college education truly prepare me for life on the road?
Life on the road, ha...like I even know what that's like.
Why do I even want to be a tour manager?
I don't know half the shit a tour manager has to do.
And what band would take me on tour, anyway?
But then again, I may know absolutely nothing about life on the road and only about half the duties a TM has to perform but I honestly cannot imagine me doing anything else.
My brother asks me why I don't want to be a professional photographer.
Answer: I honestly don't know.
My mother says I should be an x-ray technician or a lawyer or a nurse.
I say: Yeah, no...
'But they pay good money!'
Yeah, so does a gynecologist but you don't see me running to the front of the line to look at vaginas all day.
I don't know. I'm just confused.
Being semi on my own.
Being able to be alone when I wanted.
Being able to cry whenever I pleased [for some reason I feel like I can't cry in this house].
Not having to deal with my mom when she goes into mega bitch mode.
Not having to be home ever.
Not having to worry about anything but me and my school work.
Being with my friends.
Being in Pittsburgh, right in downtown.
Being out of Clairton, the shittiest town ever [someone needs to burn this mother fucking place to the ground along with half the people in it].
I just hate the feeling that I am going backwards.
I thought the point of life was to move forward, hence the future.
I am going backwards.
I'm back at home.
I'm pretty much back at CHS [hello, community college after clairton!].
I have pretty much no freedom.
All I have is me.
And I'm not good enough... but I don't mean that in a 'I hate myself' way.
I mean, literally, I am just not enough to keep me happy.
I miss my freedom.
I miss my dorm [which I hear has been taken over by some dumb bimbos].
I miss Pittsburgh.
I miss my friends.
...all my friends.
I just really hate everything right now and I don't fully understand why.
I hate photography and not getting credit for my work.
I hate school even if I say CCAC is the easiest place on earth, I just don't want to be there.
I cannot concentrate.
I just don't care to concentrate.
I just don't care.
What am I going to school for, anyway?
Can a college education truly prepare me for life on the road?
Life on the road, ha...like I even know what that's like.
Why do I even want to be a tour manager?
I don't know half the shit a tour manager has to do.
And what band would take me on tour, anyway?
But then again, I may know absolutely nothing about life on the road and only about half the duties a TM has to perform but I honestly cannot imagine me doing anything else.
My brother asks me why I don't want to be a professional photographer.
Answer: I honestly don't know.
My mother says I should be an x-ray technician or a lawyer or a nurse.
I say: Yeah, no...
'But they pay good money!'
Yeah, so does a gynecologist but you don't see me running to the front of the line to look at vaginas all day.
I don't know. I'm just confused.