(no subject)
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you don't like the way that you are acting or something that you are doing? Because I seem to find myself feeling that way a lot more than I should. I don't know, every now and then I type some long drawn out entry about how I would like to change... blah blah blah.. and it never happens. I feel sometimes like a bad person. I don't know if I am like traumatized from something from my past that won't allow me to trust others.. or puts me on a permanent defense.. but I hate it. I truly do. I am so mean to people in an unnecessary way. Too often.
Look I mean someone did something that I didn't agree with and instead of just being like "hey that wasn't cool.." I went off and bitched and moaned and just went completley out of my way to make that person feel bad.. because they did something I didn't agree with. Truth be told. I didn't really have that much of a right to be involved either. I might dislike that person, but how does that make it alright to make ( or try to make ) that person feel bad.. I'm not typing this to publicly apologize to that person, becuase it's too late for that. I am just letting that person know the way I went about it was a little out of hand. and I realize that.
I hate the fact that so many people dislike me. It makes me stop to wonder why I even have the friends I do. I don't feel good enough for them. Why some of the nicest people I ever met would want anything to do with me is beyond me. I live a wonderful life. I get along with my family ( minus my sister at times.. ) I have an AMAZING boyfriend.. And absolutely wonderful friends. I don't mean to be the way I am. and to anyone I ever said a mean thing about I am sorry.
My whiny entry ends here... theres only one last thing to say...
This is to someone who should know it is to them... I tried and I am through.. I know you don't care, but I tried. I know that.. and that is all that matters. We will always have the friendship from the past, but I guess thats where it ends. I will close the chapter of my life that has you in it and will completly write myself out of yours... I know that is how you wanted and I am sorry that is the way things ended up I just wish you could have taken the time to at least let me know how you felt,I am sorry you didn't take my apology literally. Your an okay kid by me.. but I guess this is so long. so Till next time.. if there is one....=/
Look I mean someone did something that I didn't agree with and instead of just being like "hey that wasn't cool.." I went off and bitched and moaned and just went completley out of my way to make that person feel bad.. because they did something I didn't agree with. Truth be told. I didn't really have that much of a right to be involved either. I might dislike that person, but how does that make it alright to make ( or try to make ) that person feel bad.. I'm not typing this to publicly apologize to that person, becuase it's too late for that. I am just letting that person know the way I went about it was a little out of hand. and I realize that.
I hate the fact that so many people dislike me. It makes me stop to wonder why I even have the friends I do. I don't feel good enough for them. Why some of the nicest people I ever met would want anything to do with me is beyond me. I live a wonderful life. I get along with my family ( minus my sister at times.. ) I have an AMAZING boyfriend.. And absolutely wonderful friends. I don't mean to be the way I am. and to anyone I ever said a mean thing about I am sorry.
My whiny entry ends here... theres only one last thing to say...
This is to someone who should know it is to them... I tried and I am through.. I know you don't care, but I tried. I know that.. and that is all that matters. We will always have the friendship from the past, but I guess thats where it ends. I will close the chapter of my life that has you in it and will completly write myself out of yours... I know that is how you wanted and I am sorry that is the way things ended up I just wish you could have taken the time to at least let me know how you felt,I am sorry you didn't take my apology literally. Your an okay kid by me.. but I guess this is so long. so Till next time.. if there is one....=/