(no subject)

[xfiltheexmindx]

so i was thinking, and after hours of being stupid, i came up with this conclusion...

i cant make friends. im pretty sure its impossible. i never needed to because i always had kelsey, she was seriously the only one i needed. and now, its almost time for school to start again, and i have to deal with all its hellishness. i hate school. blah.

i dont know i just feel so alone. and to wrap this entry up, heres an otep song. otep is god
"Blood Pig"

eye'm sorry
eye'm ugly
all that i am
and i can never live up

eye'm failing
eye'm angry
afraid of the ways
they pretend to be us

its fuct up
eye'm different
wurdz remain
my only escape

art saves
all of me
evolving

and now you're walking away!!!

eye'm so afraid
and now you're walking away

eye'm so ashamed
and now you're walking away!!

(voodoo spell)

[II.]

my mistake
was trusting you

blood pigs
with creating my fate

with poetry
and suffering

i cannibalized
every ounce of my pain

eye'm still afraid
everyday

these greedy worms
- they devour my plagues

eye'm not your slave
eye'm conquering
you see me rise

& now you're walking away!!!

eye'm not ashamed!
and now you're walking away!

eye'm not afraid!
and now you're walking away!!

[bridge & tunnel]

you can't hurt me anymore
you can't hurt me anymore

fed from the wound from
which we were bled

vomiting filth in
our soft cave heads

chewing on tissue,
tendon and fat

destroying the things
they do not understand!

tyrant.
betrayer.
parasite.
traitor!!

....and still u feed them
....and still u need them

eye'm sorry
eye'm ugly

dangerous
can't describe it enough

eye'm failing
eye'm angry

i use my fear
to empower my hate

eye'm fuct up
eye'm different

wurdz remain
my only escape

art saves
all of me
evolving

and now you're walking away!!!

eye'm not ashamed
and now you're walking away

eye'm not afraid
and now you're walking away!

and now you're walking away!
and now you're walking away
and now you're walking away

(voodoo spell)

my mistake!
was trusting you!

blood pigs -
with creating my fate!

with poetry
and suffering
i cannibalized....
every ounce of my pain

eye'm still afraid everyday
u still suckle my plagues
eye'm not your fucking slave
so why you walking away?

blood pig!
why you walking away?