my self-identity is traumatized
thing 1: my brother is in the hospital right now as he has just spent about 2 hours having his 10 cm appendix removed. disgustingly large. he is groggy and sounds high as a kite which is better than the moaning pain he was in before.
thing 2: i was looking over the application for Cranberry Open as i decided i wanted to start competing again and i decided i wanted to find out how old an adult competetor was. after some searching i learned that you become an adult competitor when you turn 21. i am 9 months away from never being considered a serious skater ever again. haha i won't be able to compete in real event anymore. now it's soon to be adult bronze, gold, and silver. vs juvenile, intermediate, novice, junior, senior. real competetor ranks. dear god. i'm too old to skate anymore. i'm a hasbeen hack. no one over 20 does anything. you're ancient at that point. why did i stop skating for 2 years?! my entire identity is being destroyed. Cranberry's my last chance to be a skater. to go out and for the first second be taken seriously. if course the 2 years off the ice will show through and everyone will realized i am just wasting their time. but for a second cranberry will consider me. THAT IT I'M GOING TO THE CAPE THIS SUMMER TO COMPETE! NO WAY AROUND IT!
thing 2: i was looking over the application for Cranberry Open as i decided i wanted to start competing again and i decided i wanted to find out how old an adult competetor was. after some searching i learned that you become an adult competitor when you turn 21. i am 9 months away from never being considered a serious skater ever again. haha i won't be able to compete in real event anymore. now it's soon to be adult bronze, gold, and silver. vs juvenile, intermediate, novice, junior, senior. real competetor ranks. dear god. i'm too old to skate anymore. i'm a hasbeen hack. no one over 20 does anything. you're ancient at that point. why did i stop skating for 2 years?! my entire identity is being destroyed. Cranberry's my last chance to be a skater. to go out and for the first second be taken seriously. if course the 2 years off the ice will show through and everyone will realized i am just wasting their time. but for a second cranberry will consider me. THAT IT I'M GOING TO THE CAPE THIS SUMMER TO COMPETE! NO WAY AROUND IT!