(no subject)
absent.
i was (am) bored and somewhat alert, and i had the sudden desire to do something useful. so i decided to bake a loaf of bread.
i couldn't find a measuring cup, so i made do with a teacup and my instincts. in retrospect, i guess that wasn't the best idea. i mixed all the ingredients in a bowl. then the directions told me to put the dough on a lightly floured surface and "knead well for ten minutes." i tried. god help me, i tried. but all that happened was that i sunk into a load of sticky dough up to my elbows and couldn't get loose.
eventually i did manage to toss the small amount of dough that wasn't stuck to my hands or to the countertop into a greased loaf tin thing. i covered it with a cloth just like i was supposed to, and then i left it, waiting for it to rise to twice its original size like the directions said it would.
it didn't. i put it into the preheated oven anyway. i took it out when the oven timer went off.
it is very heavy and sort of mushy. it smells terrible. i can't bring myself to taste it.
i am an abject failure. i will never be able to hold my head up at a potluck supper (if, of course, people still have those).