Danny, is this what you are going to do now. Get all emo? I already told you that Margo fucking told everyone to get out that night, and it just so happened to be right when you got there.
And there are people who are uncomfortable hanging around with you, but that isn't their fault, and it isn't because they're better than you. It's because you changed on us Danny. You know you've changed on us, and before you give me that usual "change is for the better" bullshit you like to throw out, think about all the different personalities you have become over the past couple of years:
Beginning of Junior Year: Chubby Movie Loving Danny. After the Utah Trip: Working Out Danny Who Was Infatuated With Asheley. December: Punk Danny. January: Hardcore Danny. February: Straightedge Danny.
After that, it's all just a blur. It's like you come to a new group of friends suited to fit. First, there was John Samples from Red Mountain, and Keith who you were inseparable with until the beginning of junior year when you and I started hanging out. Then, when you and I started hanging out all the time, you started talking about how crazy you were for Asheley. So, when you two start hanging out all the time, I understood that. She was the girl of your dreams. I would've ditched you for Elyse during that time. But then, once you and Asheley started dating, you decided, out of no where, that she couldn't possibly love a chubby kid, so you decide to work out and lose wieght...good for you. You lost a lot, and fast, and you looked great. But that wasn't enough for you. As soon as you started hanging around with those EVIT guys, you suddenly realized that you were being widely accepted by others, something that never happened to you before, because you were fat and didn't have luck with girls and was just a movie geek. So, then the time comes when you and I started hanging out less and less, and you started hanging out with the EVIT folks more and more. And what happened then? You started changing to their liking. They would tell you you didn't like a pair of pants you wore and you would go straight out and buy as many Dickies as you could...and then started listening to the same music. It all just kept progressing so much so that in May of 2003, you decided to end the greatest relationship you ever had, for some pretty stupid fucking reasons.
Yeah, we all think of you as the drunk, the stoner, and the sex fiend. But can you blame us? What, are we supposed to know the real you behind all those masks? Jesus, you change yourself so often it's hard to tell who you are going to be the next time we see you.
You ask all of us if we forget that you have feelings. Well, before you try finding the answer from us, how about you answer this. Did you forget that Asheley had feelings, that I had feelings, that everyone who came to love you that year had feelings?
Don't get mad at us for not understanding who you are, because we don't even know who you are...and chances are, neither do you. Do I think you have a future? No, I don't. But it's not because of the drugs, or drinking, or partying. It's because of who you are, Danny. It's because you will never be happy with who you are. You will just change who you are every so often to try to fit in with the next cool crowd, and once you get tired of that, you will move on.
We're not perfect, Danny. We're just content, something you'll never feel as long as you keep all this up.
PS: Forgive me if this seems harsh. It's not my intent on trying to rub your nose in your own shit, but Danny, I've been holding this in for too long, and the times that you and I had were so great; you were one of my best friends, and it took me so long to move on from our junior year. It wans't until I was able to realize that you would never go back to Chubby Oregon Danny, and that I would go back to the carefree Taylor that I was, that I was able to let go. I love you, man. We will always be friends, but there are going to be things that are going to keep us apart...like this.
This is the thing w/the whole 'changing' thing. I dont hangout w/ just one or two groups of people. I'm not bound by your 'East Mesa' bubble. I've been around alot of different people; Punks, Hardcore Kids, Metal Heads, Emos/Indie Rockers, Stoners, Drunks, Straight-Edge kids, etc. Sure I'm influenced by different things. It's because I'm around it so much. But I dont expect you to understand that, because you're still hanging w/ the same people you were hanging with 3 years ago. I meet new people every weekend. Fact is, there's a bigger world outside of East Mesa and I'm apart of it.
And those 'Evit Friends' you speak of, they've been the only constant people there for me.
As far, as Asheley is concerned; well, that's one thing I won't get into on LiveJournal.
um, maybe you shouldn't try to categorize yourself. i mean obviously straight edge taught you that labels aren't necessarily that smart. and just because you have (had?) a quiff and listen to tiger army doesn't mean you're psycho haha. just be you.
And there are people who are uncomfortable hanging around with you, but that isn't their fault, and it isn't because they're better than you. It's because you changed on us Danny. You know you've changed on us, and before you give me that usual "change is for the better" bullshit you like to throw out, think about all the different personalities you have become over the past couple of years:
Beginning of Junior Year: Chubby Movie Loving Danny.
After the Utah Trip: Working Out Danny Who Was Infatuated With Asheley.
December: Punk Danny.
January: Hardcore Danny.
February: Straightedge Danny.
After that, it's all just a blur. It's like you come to a new group of friends suited to fit. First, there was John Samples from Red Mountain, and Keith who you were inseparable with until the beginning of junior year when you and I started hanging out. Then, when you and I started hanging out all the time, you started talking about how crazy you were for Asheley. So, when you two start hanging out all the time, I understood that. She was the girl of your dreams. I would've ditched you for Elyse during that time. But then, once you and Asheley started dating, you decided, out of no where, that she couldn't possibly love a chubby kid, so you decide to work out and lose wieght...good for you. You lost a lot, and fast, and you looked great. But that wasn't enough for you. As soon as you started hanging around with those EVIT guys, you suddenly realized that you were being widely accepted by others, something that never happened to you before, because you were fat and didn't have luck with girls and was just a movie geek. So, then the time comes when you and I started hanging out less and less, and you started hanging out with the EVIT folks more and more. And what happened then? You started changing to their liking. They would tell you you didn't like a pair of pants you wore and you would go straight out and buy as many Dickies as you could...and then started listening to the same music. It all just kept progressing so much so that in May of 2003, you decided to end the greatest relationship you ever had, for some pretty stupid fucking reasons.
Yeah, we all think of you as the drunk, the stoner, and the sex fiend. But can you blame us? What, are we supposed to know the real you behind all those masks? Jesus, you change yourself so often it's hard to tell who you are going to be the next time we see you.
You ask all of us if we forget that you have feelings. Well, before you try finding the answer from us, how about you answer this. Did you forget that Asheley had feelings, that I had feelings, that everyone who came to love you that year had feelings?
Don't get mad at us for not understanding who you are, because we don't even know who you are...and chances are, neither do you. Do I think you have a future? No, I don't. But it's not because of the drugs, or drinking, or partying. It's because of who you are, Danny. It's because you will never be happy with who you are. You will just change who you are every so often to try to fit in with the next cool crowd, and once you get tired of that, you will move on.
We're not perfect, Danny. We're just content, something you'll never feel as long as you keep all this up.
PS: Forgive me if this seems harsh. It's not my intent on trying to rub your nose in your own shit, but Danny, I've been holding this in for too long, and the times that you and I had were so great; you were one of my best friends, and it took me so long to move on from our junior year. It wans't until I was able to realize that you would never go back to Chubby Oregon Danny, and that I would go back to the carefree Taylor that I was, that I was able to let go. I love you, man. We will always be friends, but there are going to be things that are going to keep us apart...like this.
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And those 'Evit Friends' you speak of, they've been the only constant people there for me.
As far, as Asheley is concerned; well, that's one thing I won't get into on LiveJournal.
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