Concerns.
It's been a while since I have written down my concerns or my feelings. I don't have the internet at home and I am always too busy with my baby girl to scribble things down on a piece of paper (unless it is a book idea).
Liz, Tony's ex (and Sarah's birth mom), is in town from October 12 - 15 (or so her myspace says) and it is making me crazy. I am scared and worried that she will go visit her mother and see Sarah. Now I don't object to her going to see Sarah, because she is her birth mother and she should be in Sarah's life. I am just worried that Susan (Liz's mom) will inform Liz that Tony and I are going to start getting Sarah on a regular basis and that we want to get custody of Sarah.
In my honest opinion (I don't know much about Liz, but I know she isn't the Liz that Tony feel in love with... ) and I believe that she doesn't want to be a young mom. She likes to enjoy her life too much. I mean, she was out of Sarah's life for so long and then she got pregnant again and engaged to some guy 10 years older than her and with pockets full of cash. (Golddigger?) She came back for Sarah's first Christmas and then she took Sarah back to Savannah with her after spending three weeks with her mother, here in Conyers. A month later was Sarah's birthday and we all went to Savannah to throw a party! A few weeks later, Sarah was back in Conyers and was only supposed to be visiting.. but Liz never came back. (Word of Mouth of Family: She left her fiaunce and had a miscarriage and left Sarah to be with Susan again.) (Word of Mouth of Susan: Liz sat crying on the fireplace that Sarah wasn't happy with her, but was happy with Susan.)
My thoughts: Bullshit. She only wanted Sarah, because she was having another and getting married to a rich man. If she hadn't have gotten knocked up she never would have gotten engaged and she would have never tried to get Sarah. I mean.. she didn't want to come off as a "bad mother", right? So she came and took Sarah away. Sarah hadn't seen Liz enough for Liz to just randomly come and get her. Of course Sarah was miserable. She was four hours away from everyone she KNEW. She didn't know Liz... and living with Liz a month wasn't near long enough for Sarah to get "comfortable". Liz didn't want to try and Liz didn't want anything to do with Sarah unless she was having another.
So I am worried that Susan will convince Liz to try again (After all, Susan convinced them to keep Sarah when neither could afford to take care of her..) and then Liz will get her and eventually give up and give adoption rights to Susan and Terry and then they will move and Tony and I will be left... missing a piece of us. Yes, me too. She didn't have to grow inside of me.. for her to be a part of me. I love that baby girl like she was my own and I will die trying to get her in our family. She deserves to have her father. And Tony deserves to have her more than anyone else in the world because he never got his father. Sarah is his gift.. and she doesn't need to go away, ever.
Still happy with my life.. but I hate this feeling. Cross your fingers... for good luck to Tony and I. <3