(no subject)
well tonight i went to amy mcpeters wedding, it was so nice she is so georgeous. when me and my mom were getting ready to leave i ran into one of my old teachers..first grade teacher and he was like oh my gosh martha you've grown up so much i hardly recognized you and stuff. and we started talking bout those days...and its just had me thinking all night long, and its just kinda sad u know? i miss the old days. some parts i never want to repeat again, but at the same time your so innocent and you are yeah...just a kid, its like no drama or anything like that you know...you have all these hopes and dreams of your future and you never realize that it isn't going to turn out that way. and love, wow love...i didn't know what love was when i was like 6 years old...but then again do i even know what love is now? we always smiled, and laughed and nothing ever really got to us, but then again we didn't really understand a lot the more you know, the more you hurt. its like you were living in a fantasy world, then at some point you step into reality. i don't really know when reality hit me, i wish i was still living in that fantasy world. it just feels like i'm sitting here and watching life pass me by, its going on without me...i look back now and i'm like i never really did anything big or important, never made an impact on anyones life and never really got out and did that...i don't just want to be that..i want to be able to get out there...to make a difference, i don't want to get to be 87 and be like well hell, where did my life go? i want to fit in, to find my group of friends that i stick with and i don't fall apart from, right now its like i have few good good friends, everyone is just kind of an aquantence...i'm waiting for my life to begin; its like everything right now is just leading up to my life...i don't want to miss out on anything but anyways, my brothers yelling at me to get off the computer...sorry for the weird jumbled up post...just kinda some thoughts of mine
don't let your life pass you by, weep not for the memories
<3martha